Article:
How to calm a small child?
This topic worries many young mothers; it is often difficult to understand the reason for crying and whims. There are several approaches to raising and understanding children. In the article we will look at how to calm a child and extinguish hysteria. Children's behavior depends on age; there are transitional stages and crises. At the same time, children's tears and screams are very annoying to parents, who often do not understand how to react correctly, especially when in public places.
So how to calm your child? Let's begin to study an important issue. Let's look at the age period.
Newborn children. How to calm a small child?
Breastfed babies often cry and give mothers no rest.
The main reasons are physical discomfort:
- hunger, thirst;
- wet diaper, diapers;
- inconvenience of clothing;
- too hot or cold;
- digestive problems (gas, colic);
- presence of irritation, diaper rash;
- tooth growth (pain, temperature).
Emotional reasons:
- fatigue;
- fear;
- loneliness;
- need for affection, attention;
- need for protection, security.
So how to calm a crying baby? Of course, there are many reasons for concern among infants. They have to adapt to living conditions outside their mother’s body, which requires effort. Often there is a lack of comfort and safety, and they also suffer from colic, and there may be a headache if there is increased intracranial pressure.
What should I do?
First of all, check the basic needs - hunger, dryness - offer something to drink, stroke the tummy clockwise, anoint diaper rash if present. Is it perhaps hot or cold in the room? Help the baby with clothes, because he himself cannot yet regulate this process, he reports crying. When teeth grow, gum massage and a special ointment to reduce pain are useful. It is also useful to hold the baby upright so that the air that is swallowed when crying or with food is released.
How to quickly calm a child if no physical causes are found? It is very important for children to feel the love and care of their mother - a calm voice, hugs, tactile contact, and rocking also soothe. Babies may love calm music or songs sung by their beloved mother. It is useful to carry babies in a sling when age allows - it provides safety, contact with the mother, the ability to hear her breathing and heart.
If there are no obvious reasons for concern, then perhaps your mother’s attention is needed.
Show a bright toy or object, play, improvisation will help distract the baby from worries. Often children are calmed by walks - they have a lot of new impressions, they watch and listen to the world around them with interest, and they often fall asleep on the street.
How else to calm a small child? Water has a calming effect; you can wash your baby and help him return to a cheerful state. Distraction maneuvers work great: “What’s out there on the street? Let's look out the window! Who’s in our mirror?” Try what suits you best. Some people love ringing objects, others respond well to the sound of water, similar to the sounds of the intrauterine period.
Playing with objects can also work; children are very inquisitive and open to learning about the world. Any thing in motion can attract attention, especially bright ones. They also notice the play of intonations, poems, and songs. Houseplants and objects on shelves are also a passion for many children; over time, they will happily tidy up their cabinets and “read their parents’ books.”
Thus, there are many options for how to calm a small child. It all depends on the imagination and ingenuity of the parents. Sometimes cartoons help, but this is the last method. Why spoil your eyesight from an early age, it is better to use soothing music. It has been noted that Mozart’s music calms children and also promotes the development of memory and intelligence. Now we can lay the foundation for the perception of music and art. There are many beautiful melodic compositions.
At the same time, we remember that health comes first.
It is useful to go for regular checkups with doctors and get advice on important issues. Thus, frequent awakenings at night, poor sleep or unsteady sitting may be manifestations of developmental delays and disorders of the nervous system. To strengthen muscles, massage is often recommended, and for better development, special medications and courses of treatment are recommended.
Poor sleep may be associated with intracranial pressure, check with your doctor and get tested if necessary. Perhaps a calming tea for children may help as a preparation for rest or during periods of anxiety. However, it is worth checking with your pediatrician regarding use - dosages, names.
Features of babies' sleep
When a baby is born, its nervous system and many other organs and systems are not yet fully formed.
Children do not know how to distinguish day from night; they develop this skill only at the age of one and a half months. Babies also have their own special sleep “scenario”. Their rest begins with a fast phase, when the brain works and muscle activity may even occur, then a slow phase begins, during which the whole body shuts down. These phases change more often than in adults, and the transition from one to another, as well as the process of falling asleep itself, may be accompanied by screams or crying. To help your child quickly adapt to the regime of wakefulness and rest, you need to entertain him with active communication during the daytime, do not close the curtains in the room, even when he is sleeping, and do not maintain silence. Parents can talk to each other, turn on the TV quietly or go about their business, but too loud sounds should still be avoided, they can scare the baby.
But at night you should close the curtains tightly, not talk to the baby or play with him, even if he wakes up. To help him calm down and not get scared, leave a dim nightlight on in his room. These activities will help children fall asleep faster and prevent tantrums before rest.
How to calm your child before bed?
- Relaxing bath - warm water soothes babies.
- Calm music - soothing music for children before bed will help them relax and prepare for sleep.
- Singing, reading - lullabies, reading fairy tales - a means of calming, known to our grandmothers, helped before and is still relevant today.
- Breastfeeding - The calming reflex during feeding often helps babies fall asleep.
- Quiet communication - in the evening we reduce active games and move on to calm, quiet ones.
- Dim light - the sun sets, the light dims, evening comes...
It is important to develop your own ritual so that the reflex arises - night is coming, it’s time to sleep. Some mothers sing before bed, others read books. You can, of course, teach your baby to sleep next to you, but it’s better to sleep in his own crib. This will make it easier for parents in the future. It's quite difficult to wean off.
So how to calm a newborn baby?
There are many ways, the main thing is to understand the cause of anxiety. American pediatrician Harvey Karp developed his own method of calming children, based on reflexes. Try:
- Swaddle - swaddling provides safety, as in the period before birth, when it was also tight, but secure. It is not necessary to swaddle all the time; you can do it before rest or during periods of anxiety.
- Lay on its side - the baby can lie on its side or stomach in the mother’s arms, this brings a state of peace and a sense of security.
- Provide noise - many babies are soothed by the humming of a washing machine or other household appliances, reminiscent of the beating of their mother’s heart. You can even try buzzing or hissing yourself.
- Rocking is a method that has been known for a long time, the main thing is that you don’t need to shake the baby too much, just small rocking of the head in the mother’s palm is enough. This also reminds us of the past period of life, after all, the mother was in motion, the baby felt swaying.
- Sucking reflex - breastfeeding, a pacifier or a bottle before rest helps calm the baby.
How to calm a small child? The main idea in all approaches is that the baby needs care, love, and safety. Don’t be afraid to spoil him, because the baby is still very small and needs his mother’s love. It’s better to pick her up more often and say kind words, then you won’t need to cry to attract attention.
Why does a child fall asleep with whims?
It must be remembered that difficulties falling asleep do not arise out of nowhere. They signal the presence of any diseases, violations of the baby’s routine and lifestyle.
That is, if the baby has not slept since birth, it may be due to poor health.
But if children always fall asleep quickly, and then, for no apparent reason, refuse to go to bed, the problem is most likely a change in the daily routine.
This is why it is so important to find the reason why your child has difficulty falling asleep at night.
- If the baby plays out and shows high motor activity before going to bed, then with a high degree of probability his imperfect nervous system will be “overloaded.” Of course, in such a state, long and sound sleep is out of the question.
- Carefully monitor how long your child’s daytime rest lasts and when it begins. If the baby goes to bed, for example, at 15.00, and not at 13.00, sleeps a lot during the day, then there is too little time left before bedtime, which is why there are difficulties falling asleep.
- Eating and going to bed quickly are closely related to each other. If a baby is put to bed on an empty stomach, he will not be able to sleep due to the feeling of hunger. And if he falls asleep hungry, he wakes up in the middle of the night and starts crying.
- If, on the contrary, the baby overeats at dinner, the feeling of heaviness will not allow him to fall asleep. Babies will suffer from colic, and older children will experience nightmares.
- Another reason for difficulty falling asleep is malaise - high fever, abdominal pain, headache. The baby may also be teething.
- Little children acutely feel the emotional state of their mother. Frequent scandals in the family, quarrels and shouting lead to emotional excitability, one of the manifestations of which is difficulty falling asleep.
- High or low air temperature in the children's room and insufficient humidity are often the reason why the baby has difficulty falling asleep in the evening.
- An overly bright light from a night lamp or, on the contrary, pitch darkness prevents children from falling asleep and is another common reason for waking up at night.
- The baby is not engaged in vigorous activity during waking hours or his physical activity is minimal. Agree, a one and a half year old baby who has walked a certain distance with his legs on an evening walk will fall asleep much faster than a baby who has been sitting in a stroller all the time.
- After all, children can take a very long time to fall asleep if they have an interesting toy that they haven’t played enough with and don’t want to part with even at night.
Children's tantrums a year, how to calm a child?
As they grow older, hysterics and screaming become not a way to resolve the issue, but rather a manipulation to attract attention, get toys, and sweets. At the age of 1-2, it is necessary to learn how to solve life’s problems without shouting, otherwise it will be difficult for the child and parents in the future.
Children's hysterics, Komarovsky and pediatricians pay great attention to the study of the whims and hysterics of children after one year. It is very difficult to go to the store with a capricious baby, to be in society, understanding that an explosion and disobedience are possible at any moment. How to deal with children's tantrums?
We offer advice from Dr. Komarovsky on how to cope with children's hysterics
- Try to remain calm - you shouldn’t follow the lead; if something demands it, let him learn to calmly express his thoughts and accept the opinion of his parents. Parents are the main ones in the family. Controlling adults with tantrums is a popular method among children.
- Unity of opinion - different reactions should not be allowed; if mom prohibits, then dad and grandmother support. Otherwise, constant difficulties in upbringing cannot be avoided; double standards will not allow the formation of clear rules of behavior and requirements for the child.
- Refusal of violence - punishments, screams do not help in resolving the situation of disobedience. The main thing is understanding; parents come to the rescue when you speak calmly and don’t shout. This reflex is developed within two days. You need to approach the baby after the screaming has stopped and communicate calmly. With strong willfulness, it is permissible to leave the baby alone to calm down, but control and help when he calms down. As a last resort, in case of a serious offense, put him in a corner so that he can think about “the meaning of life” and the rules of behavior.
- A single line of behavior - it is important to adhere to the same behavior. If a child screams in a store or public place, you should not follow the lead - buy something unnecessarily, or cajole him. We wait until the outburst of emotions passes, and we take the tomboy. Children test their parents until they understand - it’s useless.
- Understand the cause of tantrums - to reduce negative behavior, it is important to understand the baby. Perhaps he lacks the attention of his parents, communicate more when he is calm and in a good mood. The instability of the nervous system and psyche is manifested in unbalanced behavior. The best solution is personal example. You can endlessly talk about how to behave, but it is more effective to show a way to solve everything calmly.
Often the reason for a child’s tantrums is misunderstanding and rejection of his interests by his parents.
It is important to love, care, but also give freedom for self-expression and gaining confidence. Excessive spoiling and guardianship are not beneficial. We need clear rules about what is and is not possible, what is good and what is bad. If the boundaries are blurred, then children have a desire to tip the scales in their direction.
There are other reasons for hysterics - fatigue, lack of sleep, hunger, emotional overload, weakened state during illness, imitation, desire to show independence, get out of care, declare aspirations, get what you need, protest from interruption of an important task.
How to calm a child during a tantrum? Initially, it is worth understanding why the baby is screaming. Explaining calmly is not a way to solve a problem; help when you calm down. You can console him, hold him close, but don’t allow him to manipulate you.
How to calm a small child? It all depends on the cause of the hysteria. If you are overloaded or tired, help them rest, feed them, and redirect their attention. If you want to get something forbidden, do not follow the lead, take a wait-and-see attitude. Calmly explain why you can’t buy or do what you want. It is useful to coordinate actions in the family, for unity of opinion and approach to education.
Physiological reasons
A child's crying and screaming before bed can also be triggered by physiological factors. Babies develop and grow, their bodies often undergo changes that are not always pleasant.
Also, concern can be caused by the natural needs of a toddler - it is through crying that he signals to his parents that he needs something.
Let's look at the most common problems that can cause babies to throw tantrums before a night's rest:
- Teething.
Experts say that if an adult’s baby teeth erupted, he would hardly be able to endure such severe pain. But babies cope with it, but still feel quite strong discomfort, especially if several cloves climb at once. Unpleasant sensations can occur in children 2-3 months before the start of teething, at which time they try to put their hands in their mouths, sleep restlessly and become irritable.
When teeth are approaching, the gums become red and swollen, the child may develop a fever, and often experience constipation or diarrhea. In this case, special gels will come to the rescue, which have an analgesic effect and make the tissue more loose, helping the teeth to break through. You can also use antipyretic drugs for children, or give the baby special silicone chewers.
- Colic in the stomach.
With the birth of the baby, the digestive system has a new task - digesting food. To cope with it, there must be a certain microflora in the gastrointestinal tract, but it is completely normalized only in the third month of a toddler’s life. Until this time, he may experience colic in the tummy, due to which night's sleep is often disturbed by crying and screaming. It is quite easy to recognize this problem: the child is passing gas, he constantly tightens his legs and jerks them.
The fight against this problem is to alleviate the baby’s condition. The mother can stroke his tummy clockwise, make a warm compress; to do this, moisten the diaper in hot water, adjust to a comfortable temperature and apply it to the baby’s tummy.
It will also be useful to teach him to sleep on his stomach, so the gases will go away faster and cause minimal discomfort. In particularly difficult cases, doctors may prescribe fennel tea, dill water, or special drops to improve microflora.
- Hunger and thirst.
Children are most often fed on demand rather than on a schedule. It is likely that evening cries are associated with the baby's hunger. Before going to bed, you definitely need to feed him, but not too much, since a hearty dinner can cause nightmares.
When your baby is breastfeeding, make sure he is sucking completely from each breast. First comes the foremilk, which contains almost no nutrients, and only then comes the fatty milk. If the baby drinks only unleavened milk, it is likely that he will want to have another meal before going to bed.
- Cold and heat.
Ambient temperature can also prevent your baby from falling asleep normally. If the room is too stuffy, he will toss and turn, scream and be capricious; the same behavior is guaranteed when it is too cold. It is important to create an optimal microclimate that will promote proper rest for the little one.
In the cold season, you can additionally turn on the heater, but place the crib at a great distance from it and at the same time humidify the air. The temperature in the room should be between 20-21° C, and humidity – 50-70%.
On hot days, you can use the climate control system, which will purify and cool the air. Never turn on the air conditioner in the nursery; it can cause hypothermia.
- Uncomfortable sleeping place.
A child's whims may be due to the fact that he is simply uncomfortable sleeping. Pay attention to the crib, whether it is too small for a toddler, whether the mattress in it is of suitable rigidity, or whether the pillow is too high. Perhaps this is the reason for the constant screaming.
Uncomfortable clothing can also cause discomfort; it should be light, made of natural materials and not restrict movement.
Carefully inspect your toddler's bed; even a small wrinkle in the diaper or sheet can interfere with his peaceful rest. Make sure your baby's diaper is dry; even innovative absorbent systems cannot fully protect the baby from moisture.
Children's whims and stubbornness
The older the child, the more character and stubbornness manifests itself. Why doesn't the child listen? - parents often think. We always strive to understand, meet halfway, we care, but children do not understand our aspirations. What is the reason?
So, the child does not listen, the psychologist’s advice:
- Determine the reason for disobedience - the commanding tone of the parents, ignoring his interests, there are no clear rules of upbringing, they do not understand the instructions of the parents or the desire to get what they want through whims and disobedience.
- Engage in education from an early age - at one year of age it is easier to accustom a child to normal behavior than at 5-7 years old, when the peak of disobedience begins. The child grows up and shows self-will.
- Confidential communication - for obedience it is important to recognize the authority of adults. They have more experience and are able to help in life. It is useful to share thoughts, ideas, discuss difficult situations together, and look for solutions.
- Special treatment - children are more pleased when the treatment is targeted, rather than shouting. It’s better to come up, hug and express a thought, a proposal to the child so that he feels love and care. Nobody likes rudeness.
- Eye contact - when speaking, it is useful to look into the eyes, showing trust and openness. We are ready to understand, accept it, and discuss any complexity.
- Be grateful - if the child completed the assignment, it is useful to thank him and emphasize the importance of the actions. A simple “thank you” is always nice to hear.
- Obedience - safety - sometimes you need a quick reaction, like in a fire. The child needs to know and understand that obedience and compliance with strict safety rules can save a life. This is a necessity, not a whim of parents.
- Consider the child's opinion - it is important for children to feel that their interests are respected. Parents can give the child the opportunity to choose to demonstrate independence, offering several possible options for food and clothing. The baby is also a person.
- Establishing friendly relations - confrontation will not lead to good results, but trust and the ability to negotiate are the way out for building mutual understanding.
- Clear rules of upbringing - to define uniform requirements in the family, not to violate anyone, so that the child understands what is possible and what is not.
Childish stubbornness is normal for children over two years old.
The baby is growing and showing independence; rather, the absence of such reactions should be alarming. Children are too obedient, submissive, have a weak nervous system, are not adapted to life in society, have difficulty adapting to a team, cannot be independent, and are constantly dependent on the opinions of others.
How to calm a small child if he doesn’t listen? Understand the reason for disobedience, establish contact, build trusting relationships, give more freedom, emphasize importance, but comply with the requirements. Do not forget to explain the requirements; for older children it is important to understand why it is more correct to act this way and not otherwise.
The child does not obey, hysterics are common
The root of the difficulties in parenting after a year is that the scream manipulation reflex has become entrenched; it takes a long time to eradicate a bad habit. It is better to stop the desire to organize a “circus” in time. A child is a future member of society, and normal communication will allow him to be successful and independent. Hysterical behavior is not welcome in communication, although it is often observed among adults. Cause? Childhood, education.
The article looked at how to calm a small child in infancy, after one year and five years. Different ages have their own reasons for crying. The main thing is to understand and love children. There is always a way out and a solution. Many parents face difficult periods in their upbringing. Advice from teachers and psychologists will help you overcome all crises successfully and raise wonderful children.
Crying before bed in a baby
At an early age, a baby's sleep is extremely important for his overall health, and especially for the full maturation of the nervous system. Night and day rest is one of the most complete methods of restoring strength that was actively used up during the previous period of wakefulness. A young child actively grows during sleep, his immune system is formed, matures and strengthens, his nervous and endocrine systems are improved, and the brain actively assimilates and digests received data from the surrounding world.
Important
It is important to know that the number of dreams and their quality characteristics significantly influence the child’s behavior during the waking period.
If a baby at such a young age systematically lacks sleep, this will have an extremely negative impact on his daytime behavior and activity, well-being and mood.
He will be less able to assimilate the volumes of information that come to him, he will have trouble latching on to the breast or sucking a bottle, he may actively demonstrate his negative mood, he may cry and scream, and be capricious. Often, frequent whims during the daytime can indicate that the baby is not sleeping well and is not getting enough sleep. Therefore, it is extremely important to strictly observe the sleep and wakefulness regime from the first days of life, and this is necessary for absolutely the whole family. It is worth performing the same sleepy rituals every day, putting the baby to bed so that he gets used to the regime. Constantly maintaining a consistent daily routine helps the child develop better. If there are problems with the routine, discomfort or fatigue, imbalance of the nervous system, this threatens crying before bed and difficulty falling asleep. We recommend reading: Sleep of a newborn baby and a child of the first year of life: sleep and wakefulness