How to manage everything with a baby: the basics of time management and advice for mothers

How to manage everything with an infant if there is not enough time for even the simplest things - almost every young mother has thought about this question.

Some women in such a situation continue to work around the house literally exhaustingly, without leaving almost a minute for themselves, while others act differently and pay attention to the correct and reasonable techniques for distributing hours and minutes, which we will discuss below.

Time management basics for mothers of babies

Women often complain about a lack of free time, even without a small child in their arms - after the birth of one, the problem gets worse many times over. Experts have developed special rules for young mothers, following which you can significantly make the life of the whole family easier.

Time management rules for those who want to know how to manage everything with an infant:

list . This is the basis of everything. To get everything done, you need to know what things need to be accomplished (during the day, week, month). Some mothers keep a diary, others use mobile applications, and still others use paper stickers. The main thing is to be comfortable. In the list you need to be able to highlight the most important tasks (it is better to do them in peace, that is, when the baby is sleeping), secondary ones, as well as those that can be postponed;
splitting up . This means that labor-intensive work must be divided into 2-3 approaches during the day;
attention to quality . It’s better to spend 20 minutes playing with an older child than dragging everyone out for a three-hour walk, where the mother’s attention will constantly switch between children, which means hardly anyone will be satisfied;
combining tasks . Example: while walking down the street with your baby, you can meet a friend and chat with her. Or, if necessary, feed five family members, do not prepare several different dishes, but agree with everyone on one that everyone will like;
You can’t leave it, you can’t finish it . The comma is exactly where it needs to be! Under no circumstances should you leave things unfinished, otherwise they will grow like a snowball;
try to teach the baby to be independent . If at the first squeak the mother runs and takes him in her arms, very soon the baby will learn to use it. No one says that the baby should throw a tantrum while the parent is doing something, but it’s definitely worth observing the principle of reasonableness;
Stop idealizing is an important task . It is clear that if a woman previously prepared culinary delights for her family, it is difficult for her to give it up. However, if everyone eats sausage and pasta or other simple dishes for a while, nothing bad will happen. The baby will soon grow up;
sticking to a routine is a great solution . Moreover, we are talking not only about the child, but also about the mother. If a woman sets a limit, for example, no work after 10 pm, she will be more productive during the day.

If the mother of a baby also has to work mentally, for example, remotely, during maternity leave, then it is better to carry out such activities in the first half of the day or immediately after lunch - in the evening the brain works the least productively.

Newborn at home: how to cope with household chores and not go crazy

A child is born, life changes...

Now all the excitement of childbirth is over, and you have been solemnly released from the walls of the maternity hospital.
While you were there, it seemed like there was nothing better than being home. That’s how it is, but suddenly you realize that you don’t have time to do anything! After maternity leave began, you could sleep peacefully and relax. Perhaps you read books and watched films that have been in your plans for a long time. We became regulars on some sites. We just dreamed about something in silence. We waited impatiently for my husband with dinner ready. The house was cozy and clean... And now everything is changing. Books, TV and the Internet are only memories. The silence became peculiar. If it's quiet, it means the baby is sleeping. And in this silence you do not relax. You listen closely: are you awake? Didn't cry? If he doesn't sleep, he asks for the breast. If not the chest, then on the arms. Yes, you are looking forward to your husband getting home from work, but dinners are now often in question.

The thought of order worries you. You have repeatedly read that in a house with a newborn baby, cleanliness must be perfect. You need to wash the floor and wipe the dust every day. But now you understand how far the ideal of cleanliness is from you, and you ask yourself the question: where can you find time for all your household chores?! It's good that there are disposable diapers and a washing machine! Were you ready for this? If this is your first child, then most likely not. You just heard about it, you even made some preparations to make life easier. For example, we bought a sterilizer and a bottle warmer. It turned out that it was not needed - there was enough milk, and it was always at the right temperature in the breast. “Take time for yourself”? It became an unattainable dream. When your baby is sleeping, you are afraid to wake him up. If someone goes for a walk with him, you are faced with a wide choice. But not from the category of entertainment and relaxation, but from a long string of things that have long been waiting in the wings...

What worries a young mother after giving birth?

Of course, the first feeling during this period is love for the child. Joy, tenderness, pride - here it is, your baby! But everyday problems are very frustrating. And the completely normal feelings that a young mother is experiencing now are:

"Shock from reality." Before giving birth, you painted yourself happy pictures of motherhood, where there is no greater joy than communicating with your child. But it turns out that you are so tired that sometimes you don’t have the strength to smile.

Diffidence. After giving birth, you doubt whether you are really such a good housewife as you used to think. After all, if this were so, then everything would work out no matter what the circumstances.

Fatigue. In principle, if it weren’t for this total fatigue, it would have been possible to move mountains. And due to the constant lack of sleep, there is no strength for anything, even if a little free time appears from time to time.

The feeling that you are not understood. It seems to you that no one understands the realities in which you now have to live. Especially if the feeling is fueled by grandmothers’ phrases that “it was more difficult for us, but we managed.” And also, if the husband is not ready to understand where the breakfasts and dinners went and why the house is far from ideal.

The feeling that you don't belong to yourself. Everything you do now depends on the child. After all, you can’t tell him “wait”! Any business will be abandoned halfway if he bursts into tears. Not to mention taking care of yourself or relaxing in peace.

Irritability. You feel that sometimes you are ready to “break.” And this is humanly understandable. A woman who is in constant time pressure, who does not belong to herself, who forgets even to comb her hair out of fatigue, who feels misunderstood, is unlikely to be a stronghold of joy and optimism. It’s good if the mother still has smiles and positive emotions for the child. But she can periodically take out her mood on her family.

After giving birth, you need help, and that's okay.

The described feelings and states are normal for a young mother, but unpleasant both for herself and for those around her. Conflicts may begin with your husband and family, and misunderstandings may become even greater if the situation is not changed. Our recommendations are based on taking care of yourself and preserving your own strength for your child and husband. So…

1. Redistribute responsibilities. Sometimes, sadly, it is beneficial for your husband and close relatives to “not understand” that it is difficult for you.

And sometimes the misunderstanding is quite sincere, because although they see what happens in the evenings, they cannot fully appreciate 24 hours of your troubles. Therefore, it is you who must initiate the conversation about the need to redistribute responsibilities. Write down household chores that:

require daily attention: cooking, washing, ironing, washing dishes;
should be done every few days: mopping the floor, dusting, buying groceries;
needs to be done once a week: cleaning the kitchen and bathroom;
monthly worries such as paying bills.

Of course, this is not a complete list, but there is already something to start from. You can also demonstrate with another list the approximate time needed to care for a child: how much is required for changing clothes, hygiene procedures, feeding, rocking in your arms, walks and just communication. And then it will become clear: in order to keep up with everything around the house, you need to be cloned. And more than once.

2. When talking, try to take a partner position: “I ask you this, and I am sure that you will meet me halfway.” A mistake would be to take a pleading position: “I beg you, help me!”, as well as an aggressive position: “If you don’t start helping me, then I will ... (threat).” In both cases, you can only increase misunderstanding, and you will never receive help.

3. Hold a “family council” by calling everyone with whom you live in the same house. Announce your entire to-do list. Find out who is doing what now and what household chores you are ready to take on in addition to the ones you already have. Remember that you will still have a certain amount of worries to worry about. Some responsibilities can be shared. Write down next to each item who is responsible for it. And attach it to the refrigerator with a magnet so that everyone can refer to it at first. Don’t be shy about reminding them that you expect the things you agreed to be done.

4. Grandmothers - to the rescue! Usually grandmothers are ready to help. Contrary to stories, grandmothers who “abandon” their grandchildren and do not help their children at all are not very common. On the contrary, the problem is that they are too active, which sometimes not only does not help, but even hinders. Numerous advice, petty supervision, the desire to redo what you did a moment ago... In general, they want to help, but often do not know how exactly. After all, young women are all different: one will be happy if the mother-in-law washes the floor and prepares dinner, while the other will consider this an insult and a hint of her “incompetence.”

So ask for specific help. Say directly: “I need help in…” The continuation can be anything depending on your needs, but it’s good if it’s related to communication with your child. If a grandmother comes to your house, it is primarily to communicate with her grandson. In the meantime, she plays with it or walks with the stroller, you can choose what to do. And it’s good if at least sometimes you devote this time to yourself. Don't refuse if she is ready to do some housework. Even if you don’t exactly agree on how to wash the floor, dust, or prepare a dish, at this time it is more important that these things are simply done.

5. Friends are ready to help. It is quite possible that you have such soulful friends who will be ready to come to you and babysit while you go to get your hair done or to the clinic. But another option is possible, especially between friends who also have children. From time to time, each of you can stay with two kids at once while the other goes somewhere.

6. For material reward. You may not yet realize how having an au pair coming just once a week can ease your workload! Three or four hours - and the apartment will “shine” again. And you won’t feel guilty because you don’t have time to get everything done. The husband and other household members will also receive the necessary “unloading” from household chores. Cleaning rooms, kitchens, bathrooms, ironing clothes - all this can be entrusted to a visiting assistant. It's also worth considering finding a part-time nanny to help you with your baby. Leaving the baby in her care, you can work or go somewhere if necessary.

7. “Helper” things. There are many items available now that can help make a new mother's life less stressful. You won’t surprise anyone with a good washing machine. Use household appliances more actively: steamer, multicooker, microwave oven, dishwasher and blender. Robotic vacuum cleaners have already been invented that clean the apartment on their own.

6 ways to avoid going crazy after giving birth

What else can you do to make you feel less tired and more satisfied? After all, not everything depends on the help of others! You can help yourself in this stressful, but such a happy time...

Continue breastfeeding. This is the connection that not only balances the child’s emotions, but also relaxes the mother. Despite the pressure of household chores, devote as much time as necessary to breastfeeding. And as often as necessary. While feeding, you can try reading books, playing your favorite music, or watching a movie. In general, perceive this process as your time of legitimate rest. And don’t worry that the regime is unpredictable for now. Soon the baby will find his own rhythm, and his requests will no longer be unexpected.
Sleep with your baby. The best and safest way is to place your baby's crib with one side removed, close to your sleeping place. This measure helps mom not to fall off her feet from nighttime fatigue. Only after hearing the familiar groaning, she, almost without waking up, can give the baby a breast, and he, in turn, also does not have time to completely wake up and cry. Night feedings support lactation, and the issue with the bottle disappears by itself. During your baby's nap, also allow yourself to rest; don't try to do a bunch of things right away. Your calm state is much more important now.
Allow yourself rest and entertainment. Of course, in the first 2–3 months it is very difficult. The period between feedings is still short, and it is almost impossible to “break out” somewhere. But then it gets easier and easier. Therefore, if your family or friends are ready to help you, plan outdoor activities at this time. The best thing is with your husband. While grandparents are walking with the baby, young parents can watch a movie at the nearest cinema, sit in a cafe, or just stay at home just the two of them, and this will have a good effect on marital relationships.
Let your husband be your ally. Sometimes the appearance of a child in a family brings discord into family life, as a young mother concentrates too much on caring for the child, “forgetting” about her husband. Tenderness turns into demands, and attention into claims. Try to negotiate, remembering that you are comrades in the difficult science of parenthood. Be correct when trying to convey your desires and expectations to your husband. At the same time, try not to forget about him, show interest in his affairs at work, try to set aside at least a little time every day to talk or just be together.
Give each other the opportunity to escape from family worries. At least once a week, a young father can courageously stay with his baby, letting his wife go shopping or to the hairdresser. And the wife should let her husband go to meet friends, play sports or have a hobby. Already 2-3 hours away from the family and constant family worries will give a charge of positive emotions. And, of course, do not refuse the help of relatives if they offer it to you.
Communicate! If you have time, sometimes go online to sites for moms. Find a group of mothers with strollers like you while walking. You will have endless topics to discuss. You can be charged with positive emotions, and sometimes support each other.

So…

They say that the birth of a child is a miracle that changes your entire life. But not everything about these changes will be to your liking at first. It takes time to understand how to run a household now, because there are an order of magnitude more worries. Even if your relatives are far away, you can find those who will help you for a fee. In any case, there is a way out. But it’s important to remember that there are probably people around you who are ready to help. Don’t try to be a “super housewife” during this period - now you have other priorities. It is important to remain a good wife and learn to be a caring mother.

How to plan your day correctly?

Mothers who manage to do everything often share their secrets with other women; we’ll tell you everything about planning:

firstly, it is recommended to note in your diary (on a piece of paper, in a mobile application) all the important things that need to be done today, for example, “go to the supermarket”, “take your baby for vaccination”, etc. You can use colored markers, for example, red to indicate the most important thing, green to indicate what is important, and orange to indicate what can be put off until tomorrow;
secondly, it is important to prepare the menu for the day in advance so that you know in advance what products to buy. Ideally, this should be done a week in advance. If you go to the supermarket with such a list, the time it takes to buy everything you need will be reduced significantly;
thirdly, it is important to warn all relatives and friends that coming to the house without prior approval is no longer worth it. Even the nicest guests can disrupt the routine and deprive mom of the opportunity to do what she needs. But if the visit is agreed upon, it is quite possible to arrange your affairs around his time.

And one more thing: you shouldn’t pass by things that will be needed not today, but in the near future. For example: mom found an interesting recipe, a game with her child, or something else. It’s great if useful information is written down on a piece of paper and left in a visible place (on the refrigerator) - you won’t have to waste time searching for it later.

Chat with friends

When women learn all the delights of motherhood, they very often say: “I can’t manage to do anything with a child.” Representatives of the fairer sex have a new problem when they want to maintain relationships with their friends, who once helped them out and brightened up their time together.

Now it is possible to communicate virtually. This can be done thanks to modern gadgets and devices that are required to perform a number of useful actions:

register on social networks;
share new photos of your family life via the Internet;
add friends to your page, make new acquaintances;
join thematic groups and learn new information about raising children completely free of charge;
send an unlimited number of personal messages every day to your interlocutors.

If you prefer real communication, then invite your friends to your place. If your friends also have children, so much the better! Now you can spend your free time with your child, who will definitely focus the attention of all guests. This is how you should have fun without forgetting about your child.

Household chores

Household chores are not a priority - you need to remember this. Dust on the shelves or a mountain of laundry can wait for the evening - when the husband comes home from work, or the grandmother comes to visit, it’s quite possible to give the crumbs to one of them, and mom can start ironing or cleaning.

Experts also advise completing household chores in parts, for example, cleaning the bathroom today, cleaning the kitchen tomorrow, etc.

Also, do not postpone such activities completely until the baby is sleeping. It's better to include them in the process. Even a 1.5-2 year old child will be happy to take laundry out of the machine, give clothespins to mom, or wipe the dust with a damp cloth on his table. This is healthier for your baby than many educational games!

If we talk about food, here we can advise a woman to prepare more semi-finished products. Frozen cutlets or homemade dumplings are much better than store-bought ones and save valuable time.

Not all mothers want to trust their baby to a nanny, but sometimes there are times when outside help around the house is needed. In this case, it is most convenient to use the services of a private cleaner or cleaning company.

How to manage everything with a baby: a hobby

Many women on maternity leave do not forget about their hobbies. This is very commendable, especially considering the fact that there is practically no free time left. Representatives of the fairer sex can have an endless variety of favorite activities:

writing poetry;
needlework;
fitness classes, Pilates, stretching;
learning foreign languages;
drawing and painting, and much more.

The most important thing is that you can do all these things together with a small child. The baby will not be a hindrance if he is not just in the same room, but can participate in the process. It will be just wonderful if the child likes this hobby and wants to join his beloved mother, of course, at a level accessible to him. Organize a “mom-like” activity for your child. This way you can have fun, relax and forget about everyday worries for a while.

Time for yourself

Even 30 minutes a day spent exclusively on yourself makes a woman much happier, more beautiful and more confident.

By neglecting this time, the young mother risks ruining her relationship with her husband, because he still wants to admire his beautiful wife and be able to be alone with her.

It is also useful to take a day off once a week, reducing the number of daily activities to a minimum. On such a day, you can visit a cafe with a friend, have a spa treatment, go to the hairdresser or manicure, etc.

Modern gadgets

It’s better not to give up such assistants as gadgets. Although smart appliances in the home are not cheap, they can significantly save time and nerves.

What about gadgets that help young mothers:

baby monitor Looking into the sleeping baby’s room, the mother wastes precious time, is constantly distracted from her work, and also risks waking up the baby. A baby monitor will definitely get rid of all these problems;
sling _ With such a simple device you can wash the dishes, go to the store, or write an email;
dishwasher _ Comments are unnecessary here - it allows you to free up a huge amount of time;
robot vacuum cleaner . Will take care of cleaning the house. The main thing is to choose models with lidar that build a map of the room, this guarantees 100% coverage of the entire living space;
multicooker _ This device allows you to practically not monitor the cooking process. And the delayed start and temperature maintenance functions allow you to serve dishes at the right time;
a rocking center, a playpen, a development mat and other similar devices that can keep the baby occupied for at least 10-15 minutes, freeing up the mother’s hands for something else;
ready-to-eat food delivery services . This does not apply to gadgets, but it is a great help in a difficult situation;
washing machine with drying function . It is also useful to set modes in which the laundry wrinkles minimally, and then there will be less ironing.

How to have time to cook?

Often there is simply not enough time to prepare breakfast, lunch, dinner for yourself, your caring husband, or your child. If the hostess is expecting guests, then cooking can take a very long period of time. The number of problems increases exponentially if at that moment a restless little robber is running around the apartment, giving no rest to anyone.

The only way out of this situation is to wait until the baby falls into a sweet sleep. It is at this time that mom should head to the kitchen to start preparing delicious dishes. If you have kitchen appliances at hand, then preparing a delicious dinner will not be difficult.

When cooking, use only simple recipes that take a few minutes.

If you spend your free time usefully, you can always pamper your relatives with various delicacies, as well as new culinary masterpieces. This advice is perfect for those women who don’t know how to manage everything with a small child.

Quickly search for recipes

If a woman does not have time to cook anything with a two-year-old child, this means that she is sorely lacking time for cooking. In order to solve the problem, you need to find recipes for quick dishes, the preparation of which does not take more than 20-30 minutes.

Numerous recipes are now available in cookbooks, which can be purchased at the appropriate stores for money. But, there is an alternative and completely free option - searching on social networks. Nowadays, a large number of groups have been created on the Internet that publish thematic content for their subscribers completely free of charge. Every day new recipes appear with detailed step-by-step instructions.

If you don’t want to waste time reading, you can visit YouTube, where you can also find many recipes. It is enough to enter a question of interest, and a huge number of results corresponding to the user’s request will appear. The authors of the videos tell and show how to cook correctly. The number of views, likes, and dislikes serves as convincing evidence of the presence or absence of increased interest in the selected video.