6 most common causes of injuries in children and what to do about it

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A psychologist talks about childhood trauma - why a child often falls and gets injured.

Parents explain the child’s frequent injuries by his frivolity, carelessness, or even “damage” or “evil eye.” I do not take medical problems in which high traumatism is associated with illness, musculoskeletal disorders, bone fragility, but consider cases where a child with average or good health regularly receives injuries:

• cuts
• dislocations
• fractures and cracks
• bruises
• concussion
• severe injuries

One day in the park I watched a teenager on a bicycle. He skated himself and carefully taught his younger friend. During the next trick, he accelerated strongly, flew over the steps, but landed unsuccessfully - with all his weight on one leg.

I approached and asked how he was feeling, to which the teenager nonchalantly reported that his leg had cracked when he landed. I looked and my ankle was rapidly swelling. The boy told me not to worry, this was not the first time he had broken his leg on a bicycle, and he hobbled to the bench on his own.

Then his mother’s cry was heard in the distance. He called her and told her about the injury over the phone, so as not to meet her halfway and wait on the bench. A few moments later I saw a woman, she waved from afar to her son to follow her, and quickly disappeared.

The boy got up, took the bike and jumped after him, trying to catch up with his mother.

The boy told me not to worry, this was not the first time he had broken his leg on a bicycle, and he hobbled to the bench on his own.

Of course, there is no great harm in the injury itself. It is the indifferent reaction of the boy and mother that causes concern. This could open the door to extreme or overly heroic behavior in the future.

So why does a child fall often? Let's take a closer look at the reasons behind this.

Features of physiological and neuropsychological development

In preschool and primary school age, frequent injuries often occur for physiological and neuropsychological reasons. It can be:

• clumsiness, clumsiness
• poor coordination - lack of coordination of movements, unnatural gait
• insufficient sensitivity to pain (can roll head over heels down the stairs and say that everything is fine), temperature changes (does not feel cold, although his hands are already blue)
• difficulties in visually assessing height, depth, distance (watch how a child catches and throws a ball)
• lack of attention
• motor disinhibition
• inability to predict the consequences of one's actions
• the desire to get what you want prevails over reason and a sense of self-preservation

Behind these signs are features of physical development and brain development - connections between neurons are formed chaotically or insufficiently. Classes to develop sensory integration, cerebellar stimulation, and neurocorrection will help. They may have different names, but they do similar things - they establish connections between different parts of the brain. In each case, the neuropsychologist conducts complex diagnostics and, based on its results, selects corrective exercises and games.

In addition to working with a neuropsychologist, you can work with your child independently or in tandem with a neurologist and educational psychologist. Sports activities are shown. This could be exercise therapy (physical therapy), running, swimming, some types of martial arts, dancing or juggling. These exercises develop and correct neural connections.

Why does a child need a neuropsychologist?

The child needs support and patience from an adult, because his skill will take longer to develop than other children.

Bodily memory of trauma

The body remembers experiences, including traumatic ones. If you twist your leg once, in similar situations it can happen again and again.

Trauma memory occurs at a conscious age - from 10-11 years - and is associated with the development of voluntary behavior and reflection. What to do if a child often falls and gets injured in the same situation - while riding a bike, playing or playing sports, or maybe just while walking?

It is based on psychological and functional factors: self-doubt and incorrect movement. The wrong movement that led to injury is easily reinforced because it is emotionally intense. Expectation of a repeated mistake, uncertainty, tension lead to this very mistake.

To be the best... or to be yourself?

In the story with the teenager on the bike, there is a high probability of this exact incident - this is not the first time he has broken his leg when trying to do a trick.

A habitual injury can occur without tricks (the child constantly twists his leg when walking). The problem disappears as self-confidence increases. Acquiring independence and personal support, success in life changes the gait, making it more elastic and strong.

Muscles that are constantly injured can be strengthened with exercise. You can do this on your own, but it’s better to take a few lessons with a trainer who will correct mistakes step by step and tell you how to move correctly. This is especially true for sports and near-sports activities: parkour, ice skating, bicycle stunts.

The psychologist will help you cope with fear and uncertainty, with the “vague feeling” of injury, and will help you complete the “gestalt”: complete the action that you wanted to perform at the time of the first experience of injury.

What is a strong parental position and how does it manifest itself?

Elena Kovaleva, psychologist

If we are talking about the “crisis of 3” years, then during this period the child is constantly capricious because he is experiencing many psychological and physiological changes. This behavior exhausts both themselves and their parents. Moms and dads begin to feel that the baby is testing their patience and is doing everything “out of spite.”

But in fact, children during this period do not know how to look at the world through the eyes of others, and, therefore, cannot structure their behavior “to spite” someone. Therefore, by reacting to the whims and hysterics of children with screams and threats, parents only aggravate the situation.

Example

The mother does not give the child sweets because she is worried about his teeth or is afraid of an allergic reaction. But instead of calmly telling the baby: “I understand that you really want to. But eating a lot of sweets is harmful. I don’t want your teeth to hurt, so the third piece of candy will be unnecessary,” she uses one of these phrases:

• "Because I said so"
• “Shame on you, you’ve already eaten 4 candies.”
• “One more and we’ll go with you to the hospital!”

This kind of parental behavior will not lead to anything good. The kid does not understand why he is being refused, gets even more upset and goes into worry. Therefore, the best that parents can give their child in such a situation is a ban with detailed explanations and comments. By arguing your “no”, you do not put pressure, but negotiate. Even if the child begins to cry, continue to calmly stand your ground. This is also a manifestation of care and sympathy.

An adult must stick to his position, but not fight. Don't blame your child for what he wants, because it is normal for a baby to want what he loves. But if you refuse, then refuse from a strong position.

A strong position is not the position of a dictator, which the child is afraid of. A strong position is: “I am an adult. I know and understand better what is good for you and what is bad for you. In some situations, I am ready to hear you and meet you if this does not cause you obvious harm. In some cases, I will forbid you what I consider dangerous.”

The main task of parents is to learn to use different strategies depending on the circumstances. A parent who uses different strategies is clearly better than a parent who strictly adheres to only one behavior pattern:

• I always allow everything;
• I always forbid everything.

The response to hysteria should be different - from prohibition to permission with appropriate explanations. This concept develops sensitivity (flexibility of thinking) and adaptability (an extremely useful property) in children.

Important! Under no circumstances should you leave your child on the street or lock him in a room, thinking that he will scream and calm down! Neglect is a form of toxic parenting. The child will not calm down, but will check you again and again. It's better to stay with him and calmly talk through him and your feelings. Explain your decision (why it’s not possible or why we won’t do it).

Source: Unsplash

If you understand that you cannot cope with this problem on your own, then go for a consultation with a psychologist. He will help you figure out where and what you are doing wrong, and build a new interaction strategy that will save both you and your child from further hysterical behavior. Remember that no child specifically wants to spoil their relationship with their parent!

Secondary benefit

Here, as with some illnesses in childhood, we are looking for what the benefit is: freeing ourselves from school and reducing the level of stress, skipping the next test, getting the attention of family and friends, feeling like a “hero,” reconciling mom and dad.

A calm attitude towards injury, moderate attention, maintaining responsibilities and workload levels will help stop the vicious circle. A calm attitude does not mean indifference to the event. You just need to encourage this behavior in your child less with phrases like “you are a hero.” Irritation and criticism in some cases also act as encouragement.

Please note that the load may indeed be high. If a child complains about the number of classes and walks around with a dull look, reduce the load - for him this is clearly too much. Frequent injuries in an athlete who is actively preparing for competitions signal overwork and exhaustion - the coach gives him a break.

How to teach a child to do everything?

Intense negative feelings: rage, anger, irritability

Also, the most common causes of injuries in children are rage, anger and irritability. “In anger I hit the table with my fist”, “I kicked the wall in irritation”, “I broke glass in rage” - these situations indicate the inability or impossibility of expressing strong negative feelings to others way. Sometimes only bodily pain or destruction can stop an attack of impotent rage.

In this case, do not forbid the child to be angry or angry, forget the phrases: “come on, stop the hysteria”, “just try to slam the door again” - this will only increase the destructive power of emotions. Do not use sarcasm and ridicule: “come on, break everything here,” “show what a strong man you are.”

Moms, have you taken everything into account when preparing your child for school?

Help your child speak out, relieve tension, without criticism or evaluation: “I see that you are angry (upset, annoyed, angry), but you don’t show it. You can share what happened."

Often, recognizing the right to a feeling or emotion is enough to reduce its strength and intensity. After the child opens up, help solve the problem: analyze the situation, how you can respond to the offender; acknowledge your responsibility in the conflict if the anger is about you.

When the emotional state is visible, the problem is obvious and understandable. In this case, we say that a person needs to learn to control emotions.

Anger does not always lie on the surface. When a child considers anger unacceptable, he controls and restrains it. However, this is too strong and necessary an emotion to be suppressed so easily. Suppressed anger is more likely to lead to self-aggression and injury than externally expressed anger. Help your child become aware of feelings and express them: “I see that you are trying to hide your anger,” “It seems to me that you consider anger to be too bad a feeling to show.”

Baby hits his head on the floor and walls: causes and solutions to the problem

The emerging habit of banging one's head on any surface does not depend on the child's age. In any case, there will be no harm to the development and health of the baby. Every person is born with the instinct of self-preservation. The only reason for parents to be upset is a bruise on the forehead. Let's try to figure out why a child begins to behave this way and what his loved ones can do.

Attempts to manipulate

Cause. A child between one and three years of age is a real psychologist and the best observer in the world. You can forbid your child to take sweets from the table, force him to eat soup that is healthy, but tasteless from his point of view, and after some time you can see the behavior of a real manipulator. The baby may begin to bang his head against the wall or floor, which will cause serious concern on the part of the parents. The blows can be quite strong, while older children threaten to hit the floor or wall if their demand is not met.

Solution. You shouldn’t let your child take on the role of a manipulator, but you shouldn’t stop him either. You can offer the child a suitable soft object so that he can take out his negative emotions.

Hysterics

Cause. Often children begin to bang their heads on the floor to achieve certain goals. For example, we can cite a situation during which a mother does not buy toys for her child or does not allow her to eat sweets before dinner. It is not surprising that the baby was not at a loss and began to exhibit hysterical behavior. This scene can be called the same in all cases: the child lies on the floor, allows himself to scream, squeal, begins to cry loudly and bang his head on the floor.

It is possible that the baby is eager to spend time with friends outside, but the mother is currently busy with housework. This is another reason for hysterics and banging your head on the surface of the floor and wall. Thus, the child shows that he is offended. He begins to harm his body. This phenomenon in the language of specialists is called auto-aggression.

Solution. If a child begins to behave this way in a public place, the parent should not focus attention on the people around him and their possible condemnation. You should not consider yourself a bad mother, since this phenomenon is not uncommon among modern children. The best solution to the problem is not to indulge the whims, so as not to reinforce the behavior of the child, who will begin to achieve his goal using exactly this method. You can pretend that you are going to leave and then the baby will be left without a spectator, for the sake of whom he staged this performance. The child will come to his senses, discover that no one is watching him and will follow the parent. After he is in an adequate state, you can express dissatisfaction with his behavior, tell him that it is worth respecting each other’s feelings and that there is a more optimal type of communication between people.

If it is impossible to pamper your child with a walk, you can turn to alternative ways to spend time together. You shouldn’t categorically prohibit it or explain why you’re not giving your baby what he wants. You can watch cartoons with your baby, do drawing, and play. If the child does not want to use the proposed means and continues to bang his head on the floor, you can ignore him or give him a soft object so that the child can disrupt the aggression. Also in this case, washing with cold water helps.

The parent must understand that the child has the right to make his own choice, but there is no need to make concessions all the time. If there are harmless situations, for example, a desire to wear this or that clothing, you can listen to the baby’s opinion. This is a mere trifle.

To attract attention

Cause. At the moment when the child starts banging his head against the wall again, it is worth tracking his facial expression. You can see that the baby is not crying, he is playing with the toy as if nothing had happened. Despite being enthusiastic about what he is doing, the child may glance at his parents and show a smile. Thus, the baby observes how adults behave.

Solution. Don't swear at your baby. You can simply ignore this method of attracting attention. There is no need to fear for his safety and health; the blows will not cause harm. A little time will pass and the child will be able to realize that his behavior will not lead to anything productive.

Don't forget to pay attention to your child. The baby needs hugs and kisses, which will allow him to feel support and love from his parents.

The desire to relax and fall asleep

Cause. It is likely that the child is tired from a busy day, and therefore is trying to somehow relax and relieve stress. At the same time, you can read anger and tension on the baby’s face. Despite distracting the child from such an unproductive activity, the parents fail. The cause of this phenomenon may be high intracranial pressure.

Thus, the child may bang his head against the wall if he wants to sleep. Parents should look at the amplitude of the swing. It is possible that the baby wants to calm down and in any case will not be able to harm himself. The rocking has a certain rhythm and is more like a real ritual, which allows the child to fall asleep soon.

Solution. Before bed, you can give your child a warm bath with soothing herbs or lavender oil. This procedure will promote relaxation. You can give your baby a massage, tell a story or sing a lullaby.

Health problems

Cause. The child hits his head due to pain caused by a cold, otitis media, or teething. Parents may observe whims, but there is no anger.

You can remember an episode when you had to rock a baby to sleep when he was very young. He had to cry to express pain in his stomach or teething. He may engage in rocking and head banging to relieve existing discomfort caused by pain. Moreover, the cause of this behavior is childhood autism.

Solution. If the reason for the child hitting the wall is malaise, you need to make an appointment with a specialist as soon as possible, who will be able to conduct a series of examinations. He may prescribe medications.

Experiencing failure

Cause. It often happens that a child, while putting together a construction set, laying out a picture from puzzles, or trying to draw a new masterpiece, starts screaming, starts tearing paper, hitting his head against the wall, or stomping his feet on the floor. This may mean that he lacks perseverance and patience.

Solution. This case may require parents to take a special approach to parenting. Such a child’s reaction is associated with dissatisfaction with himself, lack of confidence in his own abilities, and bewilderment regarding the failure that has arisen. It is necessary to teach the child patience, complete what he started with him and teach him to believe in himself so that he does not give in to panic after the first failure.

Knowing yourself

Cause. The first days of a child’s life are characterized by his desire to actively learn about the world around him. At the age of one year, the baby becomes consciously interested, including in his own sensations, which may include pain.

The child explores his feelings as well as his discomfort by hitting the wall. At first, weak blows on soft objects may be observed, but after some time the baby may understand that this is not the limit, which leads to the intensity of the blows. Until the child feels that the maximum pain threshold has been reached, he may not stop independent exploration.

Solution. This experiment will be completed when the baby realizes that he has reached the apogee of pain. Thus, it is necessary to find an opportunity to distract the child from this activity.

This phenomenon is most often practiced by boys. Often children hit the surface at the age of one, but closer to the age of three they stop behaving in this way. If the behavior continues until the age of seven, we can assume that the child has a fixed idea: banging your head means you can achieve what you want. Parents must certainly adjust their own behavior and comprehensively combat this problem.

Self-punishment and guilt

Children feel guilty for misdeeds that go unpunished. If a child often falls and hits his head, this sometimes acts as self-punishment. This doesn't happen on purpose. Rather, the child (or even an adult) worries so much that he becomes inattentive, plus the feeling of shame makes the body clumsy and awkward.

The guilt may be obvious - the child started the fire. Such events leave a deep imprint on the soul, and punishment helps to cope with guilt. Sometimes you need to talk to the child about why there is no punishment (what happened may only look significant in the eyes of the child).

How to help your child cope with stress

Sometimes a child has a secret (for example, he lied and considers lying unacceptable). If the baby is too categorical and sharply brushes you off in every conversation - “I told you that everything is fine, leave me alone!” - let a person talk to him whom he is not afraid of, whom he trusts, or a psychologist.

In the third case, the reasons for guilt are not clear to the child himself. He is not aware of it - he feels guilty that he is “not good enough.” Perhaps the child is often shamed or criticized. High standards of behavior in the family, set by the situation itself (everyone in the family is a “professor”, but he is not good at mathematics) or by attitudes (the only possible grade is “5”, a good person does not behave like a pig), develop a sense of inadequacy in the child.

Parent messages

The most common causes of injury in children are caused by the harmful influence of parental messages:

• “Taking care of yourself is not becoming a man”
• "Real men don't feel pain"
• “The pain must be endured”
• “You’re already too old to be bothered by sores”

These messages are implemented through the following actions: the parent ignores the child’s injuries, abrasions, bruises (“it will heal before the wedding,” “they all hurt themselves all the time at this age”), reproaches them for tears, scoffs at the child’s request to examine and treat the wound - it may be insignificant , but the child doesn’t understand this.

The story with the boy on the bike most likely contains such messages. The mother acts with the best intentions - to make the child stronger, stronger, more independent, to let him feel the consequences of his actions, but as a result, he does not learn to take care of himself and is negligent in his health and life.

Parents' fears that are passed on to children

It is better to change the attitude to a positive and less harsh one: “I know that you are able to take care of yourself.” In childhood, reinforce with actions: blow on a bruise, treat even a minor wound. A child learns to treat himself by observing the parent’s attitude towards him. After some time, he will learn to take care of himself (and others!).

At an older age, pay attention to a complex wound or injury and help, if necessary, limit the movement of the injured part of the body.

The most destructive parental message is “Don’t live.” It is formed as a result of extreme, difficult to bear circumstances in the life of a parent or against the background of postpartum depression and can be expressed in the following words:

• “Because of you, I didn’t finish my studies (I lost my health, I lost my husband)”
• “I will love you more when you are gone (if you do something heroic)”

A child in such a system is filled with feelings of guilt, anger, rejection, resentment, and strives to fill the void and become worthy of his mother’s love, often through extreme behavior.

Why does a child start hitting his head on the floor in hysterics after 3 years?

1. In order to attract attention At 6 years old, a child can roll on the floor and sob excitedly in order to get what is in short supply: attention, understanding, support, love. At this age, the child understands that this is the only way he can attract the attention of his parents and get at least something from his loved ones. But most often this “something” is expressed not in love and support, but in irritation, anger, aggression and suppression. However, for a preschooler, even such a reaction is better than nothing.

2. Unconsciously punishes himself Such hysterics are directed at himself. A child may bang his head against the wall or floor because he feels guilty. And we're not talking about a broken toy. The child may think that his parents pay little attention to him and do not allow him to do anything because he is bad. Hence the aggression towards oneself and the desire to hurt. Here are just a few thoughts that may plague him:

• I hurt myself because I decided that I needed to punish myself."
• Since my parents behave this way towards me, it means I’m bad. It's my fault that I can't receive love and acceptance.
• I hurt myself, which means I have been punished, and now they will give me what good children deserve.

3. Hysteria-manipulation A child after 3 years of age can continue to hysteria in this way, because such behavior has a reliable effect on parents. For example, a mother or father gets scared when they see their child beating on the floor in hysterics, and immediately gives him what he wants.

Elena Kovaleva, psychologist

The appearance of such hysteria is a 100% mistake of the parents, who are ready to do anything just so that the child does not do this. If you give in to a child, then this must be done with an explanation. If not, the hysteria will be repeated time after time, because the parent behaves like a weak, insecure person. He acts from the position: “I will do everything, just calm down.” Adhering to this principle is harmful, because you reinforce one model of behavior in conflict.

When a child sees that an adult makes concessions to him in such situations, then their connection and affection is threatened. Each tantrum is a preschooler’s irrepressible desire to get answers to the following questions:

• Is it true that you easily fall into helplessness and impotence?
• Is it true that when I state my position, you are ready to beat me if only I would stop doing it?
• Is it true that I can’t count on you now?
• Is it true that you will give me anything as long as I don’t scare you?

If the parent continues to follow the child’s lead, then such hysterics will continue at 5 years old and beyond. Doing everything to make your child calm down is the wrong behavior strategy. This way you are only encouraging the use of this behavior model.

The parent's reaction to hysteria, no matter how scary it may seem, should be outwardly calm, but not indifferent. Adopt the tactic: “I empathize with you, but I am not afraid of you.”

What to do if a child often falls: rules for parents to prevent injuries

There may be more than one reason behind traumatic behavior. But to prevent such accidents, you need to follow several rules.

1. Play sports with your child, develop his dexterity and muscular system, and overcome physical disabilities (flat feet, scoliosis).
2. Do not ignore persistent typical injuries. They are based on incorrect movement, which can be corrected by working with a trainer.
3. Be attentive to changes in the child’s behavior and emotional state, help him speak out.
4. Avoid focusing on trauma to avoid reinforcing traumatic behavior.
5. Show your child an example of a careful and attentive attitude towards yourself: do not ignore pain, do not show miracles of patience and heroism, treat wounds, consult a doctor. The same goes for the child. Taking care of the body is also a manifestation of love.
6. Talk to your child about the importance of taking care of yourself and your body. There is one body for life, there will never be another.
7. Teach your child self-help techniques in extreme situations. How to behave if you have a broken leg, severely cut yourself, or been bitten by a dog.

These simple rules will help maintain your physical and mental health and the health of your child.

Author of the article: Vashkevich Yulia Borisovna

Why does a child hit his head before going to bed?

Here are some possible explanations for the reason for this unusual behavior:

• Rhythmic movement disorder associated with sleep

Interestingly, this habit often occurs right before the child falls asleep. You may think this is painful, but banging your head actually helps some children calm down.

This bad habit can be compared to how some babies, for example, love to be rocked to sleep. Simply put, head banging is a form of self-soothing that helps you fall asleep faster.

It is for this reason that the baby, suddenly waking up abruptly in the middle of the night, can again take up his task.

A sudden roar will scare anyone, but if you are sure that it’s just a bad habit, experts do not recommend giving in to the impulse and running for safety. As a rule, a few minutes are enough for the baby to fall asleep. Parents should not interfere in the process until there is a risk of injury.

• Developmental disorders

Sometimes, however, hitting your head is a sign of a developmental disorder, such as autism or other psychological disorders.

To distinguish a bad habit from a real problem, observe when and how often your baby hits his head. If the child is healthy and does not show any other pathologies, we are most likely talking about a typical violation of rhythmic movements before bedtime.

On the other hand, if the baby simultaneously experiences, for example, a speech delay, frequent emotional outbursts, or does not communicate well, this is a reason to consult a doctor to rule out serious illnesses.

How to react to your child hitting his head

Although most of these cases are normal and are not a sign of developmental gaps, such behavior of a child before bed can drive anyone crazy. Experts suggest not to get upset, but to pull yourself together and try the following techniques:

• Ignore

Of course, this is easier said than done. Just know that if you give an immediate reaction by picking up your baby or allowing him to sleep in your bed after something like this, then cunning little ones can use their behavior to attract attention and get their way.

However, if you ignore this behavior, a few minutes will pass and the child will fall asleep.

This technique does not work when it comes to causing harm to health.

• Rearrange the crib

Even when a child is not at risk of injury, head banging can be loud enough to disturb other family members. An easy way is to move the bed further away from the wall. This way the headboard will not hit an obstacle.

• Preventing Injury

If you are concerned about your child injuring himself, place pillows along the head of the bed. You can also install railings on your baby's crib to prevent falls when hitting their head or rocking.

These actions are only necessary if there is a risk of injury. Keep in mind that pillows are only acceptable in older children's beds.

The American Academy of Pediatrics opposes blankets, bumpers, and other soft bedding for infants sleeping in a crib. The presence of these accessories may increase the risk of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS).