Why is the child distracted and inattentive? What to do? (+ reviews)

Your child again forgot to write down his homework, doesn’t remember where he left his spare shoes, and can’t say what subjects are on the schedule tomorrow. And he also spends an infinitely long time doing his homework, or rather, he doesn’t do them for an infinitely long time, but simply sits over his notebooks, thinking about something of his own. You are tired of making comments to him and reminding him twenty times of the same thing, but you don’t know how to break this circle of childish absent-mindedness and inattention. Therefore, you just sigh doomedly with the words “Who is he like?”, not suspecting that the answer to this question sometimes lies on the surface, because the child may be like this in you and because of you.

Causes of childhood absent-mindedness and inattention

As a rule, parents learn about a child’s inability to concentrate when he becomes a schoolchild. It is at this time, which requires special perseverance from the baby, that previously unfamiliar problems begin to emerge. And adults don’t realize that they themselves laid the foundation for them many years ago and that the child is often not to blame for this. Among the most common causes of childhood inattention are the following:

The child suffers from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Children with this diagnosis are, in principle, unable to focus their attention on anything for a long time; they are restless and impulsive. As a rule, this feature is detected even in kindergarten, but if you do not pay attention to it, then with age it will be very problematic to correct the behavior of a child with ADHD.
The child is in poor health. He gets sick regularly and is constantly attacked by viruses. All strength is spent on fighting illnesses, and there is nothing left to maintain attention.
The characteristics of the child’s nervous system have an effect: the more mobile it is, the easier it is for the child to switch his attention, and vice versa - with a weak nervous system, a small person is unable to quickly change the form of activity and concentrate on it.
There was a negative emotional atmosphere in the family. If adults constantly swear, make scandals, and sort things out, then it is difficult to expect productive activities and success in the development of personal qualities from a child.
Parents cannot create a working environment for their child. He does not have his own desk, during classes he is constantly distracted by conversations or is disturbed by the working TV. Naturally, under such conditions, the student will not take his studies seriously; accordingly, he does not need to spend his personal resources on it, to be focused and attentive.
Great physical and emotional stress. In the morning, the child goes to school, where they expect only positive grades from him, after classes he meets with a coach in the sports section or a teacher in the art studio, then he must help his mother at home, then do his homework, and before going to bed he is required to read several pages of a book from list of required literature. And so on day after day. Not every adult can withstand such a rhythm of life. It is not surprising that fatigue sooner or later takes its toll, the child’s performance approaches zero, and the child is unable to control his attention.
The child is not interested in any educational activities; he does not consider anything important that his parents require of him. Studying is boring for him, he doesn’t understand why lessons are important and necessary and why waste time on them when there are many other truly interesting things to do in life. That is why the child does everything obligatory hastily, as best he can, without wasting an ounce of his attention on what he considers unimportant. But afterward, he plays computer games with concentration and enthusiasm, demonstrating miracles of perseverance. Lack of motivation can negate all efforts to develop an independent and responsible person.

Inattentive child

“Your child is inattentive, constantly distracted and does not listen to me in class” - these are the comments that parents of restless children most often hear. Is it possible to do something about the fact that the child is inattentive? Let's deal with this problem today.

Let's start with the fact that voluntary attention, namely this characteristic that allows you to focus on one type of activity, is formed by the age of 5-6 years. At an earlier age, if a child is distracted, this is normal; the frontal lobes of the brain are not yet sufficiently developed and perception quickly switches to any strong stimulus. It is primarily younger schoolchildren who face problems concentrating in class.

How to understand that a child is inattentive?

1. Does school assignments quickly and is not particularly versed in details; he may miss the terms of the task or an important description. 2. Makes many mistakes, often due to inattention rather than knowledge of the rules. 3. Gets tired quickly from a small amount of work and begins to be distracted by extraneous matters. 4. Often hovers in his thoughts and dreams - such children often stare at the street during lessons instead of mastering the material. 5. Completes tasks slowly due to frequent switching of attention to other factors, for example, to the phone.

First, let's look at the reasons for inattention.

Hyperactivity is a common problem that parents and teachers talk about. However, hyperactivity as a diagnosis is made by a doctor, so if there is no confirmation, there is no need to label it. And with such a diagnosis, appropriate medical support is necessary. You should not be afraid of doctors, because, in some cases, it is better to take a course of medications to deliver the necessary substances to the brain, and after that it will become easier for the child to communicate with other children, live and study.
Strong excitability of the central nervous system. Here we are talking about the leading temperament - choleric. This is not a disorder, it does not need to be treated, it is a feature of the nervous system. The nervous system is very excitable, which means it quickly moves and is distracted by extraneous stimuli. Temperament can be determined by a psychologist using tests.
An inhibited and slow child is also a feature of temperament. This can usually be noticed already in infancy; such children suckle poorly and sleep a lot. If the attention of such a student is diverted, it will take time to get back into work.
Lack of attention from parents. The child does not receive enough communication with adults, feels a lack of interest in his life, so he often asks for help and is distracted by any other interesting subject.
Frequent or chronic illnesses. Children who miss a lot of school activities have reduced academic performance for physiological reasons. It is difficult to immediately enter the educational process when you have missed several topics and absolutely do not understand what is happening. This can also include overload, when a child cannot cope with the school curriculum, with severe fatigue and stress, it takes twice as much volitional effort to focus on the material.
Lack of motivation. It happens, like in the classroom, when the teacher fails to interest the children in the lesson and include them in the educational process. It’s the same at home if parents are not at all interested in studying and don’t encourage you to get good grades.

An absent-minded or attentive child is not a diagnosis. Parents should remember this, and voluntary attention can be trained even from a young age.

If you recognize your child from the description above, these recommendations are for you.

If the diagnosis of hyperactivity is confirmed, it is necessary to take a course of medications and attend classes with a child psychologist or psychotherapist.
It is useless to scold a child or use punishment. External pressure creates negativity and reluctance to learn at all. Give enough emotional “strokes”: praise, play, hug the child.
Choleric people need to take more breaks and change activities more often. You can do physical. 5-7 minutes each if you notice that the child has begun to get distracted.
When doing homework, remove extraneous stimuli: toys, telephone, coloring books. Create silence in the room and do not distract the child.
If a child misses a lot of lessons, it is better to review the material studied with a parent or tutor.

Exercises and games to develop attention

Choose those that your child will like. Remember, the main thing in the game is to enjoy the process.

Drawings where you need to connect the dots in the correct order, usually connect the numbers in order to make the image appear.
"Find 10 differences". Pictures where you need to find different elements between two images.
“Where did you hide?” There are many elements drawn on such images, among which you need to find gnomes, little men or other creatures; if you print them out, it will be more convenient - you can color the ones you find.
Game “Prohibited Movement”. Usually performed with a group of children, but can be adapted for games with an adult or older child. Rules: a leader is selected (most often an adult) and a prohibited movement, for example, you cannot raise your hands up. Children repeat all the movements after the leader; if they do something forbidden, they lose.
“Pathfinder.” A game best played in a less crowded room. The child closes his eyes or leaves the room, the adult hides some object, for example, a pen. The child’s task is to find it in this room. Important: the item must be in plain sight. You can discuss in advance the places where we don’t hide, for example, in the closet, so that the child doesn’t make a mess.
Find the numbers in order in the picture. You can print and play several times until the child learns where all the numbers are located. (Example picture at the beginning of the article).

Inattention can be either a symptom of current problems in a child’s life or be associated with the characteristics of his physiology. It is important to understand the reason on which to base further correction.

Patience to you, dear parents, and psychological health!

On the Razumeikin website, your child can complete online exercises to develop attention.

Author: Teacher-psychologist Rastopchina Alexandra Nikolaevna

Prohibited techniques for dealing with childhood inattention

Many parents, seeing the imperfections of their own child, understand that they can and should work on the development of their personality. But often they choose the easiest path, shifting all responsibility onto themselves. As a result, the entire process of developing perseverance and concentration in a little person comes down to comments and moral teachings. Good parental intentions can result in a lecture on the topic “What is good and what is bad,” which at best will not lead to any result, and at worst will aggravate the situation, forming in the child the opinion that he is hopeless, and therefore there is no need for him to try to be better.

Child psychologists identify several “don’ts” that loving and understanding parents should follow when fighting children’s inattention: do not scold, do not ridicule, do not punish, do not compare with other children, do not go to extremes, correcting mistakes for the child or demanding from him ten times of independently remaking something without the help of adults.

Dear parents, you cannot scold your child for being who he is. It is unacceptable to make fun of his shortcomings. It's unfair to blame him for your own mistakes in upbringing. If a child is inattentive and distracted, then it is not his fault, but your common misfortune, which you can cope with together.

What influences a child's attention?

Perception. When a child is distracted, he cannot fix his gaze on something specific. His gaze quickly moves from object to object. Subsequently, this leads to the fact that the child does not have a complete and holistic understanding of the world around him.
Memory. Children subconsciously remember most of the information they hear and see. The excess then disappears from memory. Absent-minded children need to be taught what to remember and what not to remember. Even after this, they may find it difficult to remember certain things.
Thinking and speech. As a result of constant inattention, the structure of speech is not formed. Children can often confuse concepts that are similar in meaning. As a result, the child cannot determine the connections between events and phenomena, as well as the similarities and differences between them.

Signs of absent-mindedness

For a future student, attentiveness is extremely important. How can you tell if your baby is distracted?

He cannot do the same thing for a long time.
He is distracted by any external stimuli: music, movements and even quiet sounds.
You see that the baby is trying, but he still often makes mistakes.
It is difficult for him to identify and correct the mistakes he has made.
It is difficult for a child to retell even a short story.
Since he often fails, he loses interest in any activities that are then assessed. These children prefer games and communication with peers.

Lack of discipline

The fashionable rule that is widespread nowadays is to allow children to do only what they want , also has its negative consequences . Alas, life also requires routine from us, and running away from unpleasant everyday affairs does not make our life better. It’s probably worse, because it weanes you off discipline, which makes life as an adult more difficult and less productive. Conscious efforts must be developed - this has a positive effect on life.

Solution: make a list of responsibilities and stick to a daily routine.

What to do - advice from a psychologist

Child psychologists, speaking about the 7-year-old crisis, always recommend avoiding physical punishment and psychological pressure. Such methods will not bring the expected results, they will only aggravate the situation. A few tips will help you cope with difficulties with dignity:

Make an agreement. Know how to not only order, but also listen. Don’t confront your child with a fait accompli, discuss those decisions that directly affect him: the need to attend after-school education, a trip to grandma’s for the holidays, classes at a music school. Determine in advance which issues are not subject to discussion - safety, health. Always keep your promises to your child; Let's get some instructions. Does the child disobey, striving for independence and respect? Great, at the age of 7 he is able to help around the house - water the flowers, wipe the dust, sweep. Such trust will raise the child’s self-esteem without ugly scenes

Don’t forget to praise your child, be sure to loudly report to all household members how he helped you out with his help, let him feel significant and authoritative; Don't focus on your child's failures. Many moms and dads get very annoyed when they see bad grades for simple mistakes.

At 7 years old, a child is acutely worried about parental disapproval; stop endlessly reproaching him and comparing him with someone. You don’t love him for his academic performance, do you?; Do not voice instructions in a categorical tone. Let this be an urgent request. When you encounter objections, add firmness to your voice or use physical contact: take the child in your arms, look into the eyes, and achieve reciprocal attention. Be sure to ask about the reason for the refusal, find a compromise; Make time for a confidential conversation. Even if you are a very busy person, you can devote a quarter of an hour to your own child. Ask him how his day went, what's new at school, who he is friends with, who he quarreled with and why. The habit of discussing personal life events with you will remain for many years. Adolescence is also not far away - prepare the ground in advance; Stop attempts at manipulation. Democratic education does not change the leading roles; parents remain the highest authority. By allowing themselves to be manipulated, adults lose authority; Do not punish your child with ostentatious indifference, it hurts more than screams and a belt. Your anger will soon pass, and the child’s psyche will suffer seriously; Be an example. Follow the established rules, maintain family traditions.

When talking with parents of first-graders and giving them advice, psychologists often say that unquestioning obedience at this age is much more suspicious than constant mischief, so do not rush to be upset if a child at 7 years old does not listen to you. Now you know what to do, let the psychologist’s advice help you maintain a trusting relationship.

Gadget addiction

The real scourge that the vast majority of parents complain about is video games and computers. Modern children really prefer to spend most of their free time on them. But is it really only the children's fault? Or in some way parents who did not look after them? Many young parents prefer not to rack their brains over what to do with their child in their free time, but simply hand over a tablet. The result is quite expected. The only sad thing is that most parents believe that it is a matter of time and the child will eventually lose interest in gadgets.

Solution: more responsibilities and daily routine.

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Parents try to burden their children as little as possible, arguing that their everyday lives are already overburdened with school, homework and extracurricular activities. However, there is a catch in such concessions: as a result, children who are accustomed to working half-heartedly later have difficulty concentrating on complex tasks , their brain gets used to idleness, becoming inert and relaxed. In addition, talking about how difficult it is for adults with them has a negative impact on children. All this gives the child a negative idea of work, forcing him to further focus on easy ways to solve the problem.

The solution: more responsibilities around the house.

How should parents behave?

Child psychologists advise the following:

If your child begins to argue zealously, is looking for some interesting activity, or is trying to express his independence, help him. You need to remain calm, be able to listen and offer something interesting to keep your son or daughter occupied. Praise your child for any successes. Make it clear that you are proud of him and rejoice at his achievements. Discuss all issues only when the baby is calm

During a period of hysteria, it is pointless to find out what you agree on and what you don’t agree on. A six-year-old girl attracts attention with her antics, which means that she needs to devote enough time to general activities. In the evening, before going to bed, discuss what was new and interesting with your son/daughter, what he/she learned, what information shocked you

The conversation should be calm, without excessive emotionality. Offer children creative activities and games: put on a theater play, sculpt cartoon characters from plasticine, come up with a plot for a fairy tale together, etc. Such games help children develop the necessary skills for the subsequent educational process. Talk to your children about school more often. Form only positive associations: school is a place where knowledge is given, new friends are made there, teachers share useful information, etc. Please note that studying is not a game, but serious work, but without it it is impossible to achieve much in life. Involve children in homework. But at the same time, do not forget to encourage and praise for completing a task, even if the child did not do it as expected. For example, you asked to buy a list of necessary products from the store. The son brought milk instead of kefir, forgot butter, but bought his mother her favorite ice cream as a gift. Don't focus on these little things, because he tried and did everything he could. Accompany every success of your baby, even the most insignificant one, with the words: “I never doubted you, I knew you would succeed.” Parents must believe in their children, otherwise they can develop serious complexes, which will cause mental disorders in the future. Give children the opportunity to feel like adults. If a son/daughter is trying too hard to show their desire to become an adult, sometimes parents need to demonstrate their weakness and allow the children to make their own decisions. For example, you can say: “Darling, I’m very tired at work, let’s go to bed early?” Surely, our son will go to bed earlier than the time when he is usually used to going to bed.

The most important thing that parents of first-graders need to know is that children need their love, attention and support.

Be there, try to listen and understand, do not resort to extreme measures of punishment, because children during a crisis suffer no less than the adults who are nearby.

We offer a useful article on the topic: Child psychology at 6-7 years old.

No independence

In parallel with this, many parents raise their children, consciously or unconsciously limiting them from independence. Such parents strive to control their children in everything. Another characteristic is shifting responsibility to anyone but yourself. For such parents, everyone is to blame for their child’s mistakes except themselves. Their biggest mistake is that such parents do not allow their child to make mistakes and, as a result, learn from their mistakes. Result: they get a child who does not know how to take responsibility for his actions and take care of himself.

Solution: give your child an activity that will teach him responsibility.