God-parents. Who can be for boys, girls according to church rules, responsibilities before baptism, gifts, what you need to know for a child’s christening

When young people start a family, they definitely want it to be complete and happy, so they look forward to the birth of children and try to give them the best. If we talk about Orthodox families, then here it is mandatory to baptize children, and if young parents are already planning to do this, then they are faced with the question of how to choose the right godparents for their child. Often young parents wonder who can be godparents, who will be a good example for the child, and who should not be taken as a godfather, and this question must be answered so that unnecessary doubts do not arise about this.

When should a baby be baptized?

The Orthodox Church does not set the age of baptism for children. In each family, this issue is resolved independently, based on the characteristics of the way of life, the health of the child, and so on.

For centuries, a tradition has been established to baptize infants no earlier than 40 days from their birth. There is an explanation for this. His parents brought Jesus Christ to the Temple for dedication to God on the fortieth day, according to the custom of the ancient Jews.

During the same period, a woman after childbirth goes through a period of cleansing. After reading a special prayer, she can visit the temple and fully participate in the life of the Church and its Sacraments, including being present at the baptism of her child.

If the baby is weak and sick, you can wait until he grows up and gets stronger. The church prays for “mother and child,” so God’s help will not leave both of them, but the child’s full participation in church life will be possible only after baptism.

If the life of a newborn is in danger of death, then it is better to baptize him as early as possible in order to be able to pray for health or remember him during the Liturgy. Regular communion, which is possible only for a Christian, will strengthen the child’s physical and spiritual strength.

When the family decides to baptize their child, you still shouldn’t put off the most important event in his life for too long. There is another argument in favor of this decision: a baby at the age of 1-2 months is not yet attached to his mother and family, he is not frightened by strangers and extraneous sounds. Throughout the entire Sacrament, the godparents will hold the baby in their arms; an older child may resist this.

Features of baptism

In the Orthodox Church, a person of any age can undergo baptism. Small children who do not understand the meaning of the sacrament are baptized according to the faith of their blood relatives or godparents. Next, they take responsibility for spiritual education and guidance. For children under 7 years of age, parental consent is required for the ceremony. Children over 7 years of age should be further familiarized with the meaning of the ritual, as well as told about how it occurs.

Spiritual parents take charge of preparing for the holiday. The man, who is the head of the family, goes to the church and negotiates the ceremony, pays a fee for it, buys a gift and a cross. The woman gives a baptismal set (clothes) and a kryzhma - a cloth in which the baby is wrapped after the ceremony.

Boys

There are certain features of the ceremony. The boy’s main mentor is his godfather, but certain rules also exist for the mother:

she must not be pregnant;
the presence of serious mental disorders is unacceptable;
a woman cannot be a nun.

Only an adult woman can become a godmother to a boy. The same rule applies to the father. The man chosen for this role should not have problems with the law. According to church regulations, husband and wife or people in a love relationship cannot be godparents.

Attention!

It is not necessary to choose godparents from your city. They may even live in another country. The main thing is that the baby can maintain a spiritual connection with them.

Girls

The main godmother for a girl is her godmother. She and her godfather must come to the church a little earlier before the ceremony and undergo an interview. At the beginning of the ceremony, the father takes the child in his arms and brings him into the church to be anointed and immersed in the font. After this, the girl is dressed in a dowry and put on a cross. It is not recommended to take a godmother from relatives for a girl. It's better to look for someone who is a good friend. Also, a woman should not baptize a girl if she has no children of her own. In this case, the firstborn must be a boy.

At the end of the ritual, the baby is leaned against the icon of the Mother of God. At this time, the godmother reads the prayer “Our Father” and “Creed”. The godmother should have experience communicating with the girl, know how to change clothes and calm her down during the christening if she cries.

Spiritual parents buy their child a baptismal gift. This could be clothes, toys, an album for storing children's photographs.

Features of christenings for boys and girls

The sacrament of Baptism can be performed on a person who consciously believes in Christian truths. An adult himself testifies to his readiness to unite with Christ and receive the gifts of the Holy Spirit. It is impossible to expect conscious faith from infants. During the Sacrament of Baptism, they must take a vow of fidelity to God and renounce the forces of evil and sin.

Is it possible to baptize them? “Yes, it’s possible,” answers the Orthodox Church. Receivers from the font or godparents are given to the baby at baptism in order to be responsible for him before the Lord not only during the sacrament itself, but also in subsequent earthly and eternal life. Infants are baptized according to their faith and the faith of the parents.

Who can and cannot baptize a child

You can take absolutely any person as a godparent, but the main condition is that he be of the Orthodox faith. According to tradition, a girl should have a godmother, a boy should have a godfather, which means that a child can have one godparent, but only of the same gender. But most parents prefer that their child have 2 godparents.

Parents try to choose people younger than themselves as godfathers. This is explained by the fact that in the event of the death of the father and mother, upbringing is entrusted to the shoulders of the godparents. People who become godparents of the same child are considered relatives according to church laws, so they are strictly forbidden to marry.

The following cannot become godparents:

Not baptized, atheists.
Those who do not want to fulfill the duties that are assigned to them during the baptismal ceremony.
Parents of the child.
Spouses.
The bride and groom who are going to get married or are cohabiting.
Stepfather to his stepson.
People of different faiths.
People who are recognized as possessed by demons.
During menstruation, a woman is prohibited from baptizing her child.

It is advisable that the twins have different godparents, since the godfather has to accept the baby from the font, and it is almost impossible to hold two children in his arms at the same time.

Most often, close relatives and people with whom the parents are in close contact are taken as godparents. An important condition is that future godparents must be regular visitors to the church. There is an opinion that you cannot refuse the offer to become godparents, so you can hint to potential godmothers that you would like to entrust such a responsible role to them.

Who cannot be among the godparents according to church rules?

For newborn boys and girls, before choosing adopters, it is necessary to know who can and cannot become them.

The priest will refuse to perform the Sacrament of Baptism if the following are chosen as recipients:

representatives of other religions, pagans, atheists;
the parents themselves;
monastics;
mentally ill and immoral people;
drunk;
young children.

Can godparents be husband and wife or become one in the future? There are no canons prohibiting this in Orthodoxy. In 2021, the Council of Bishops updated the permission for marriages of adoptees with the blessing of the diocesan bishop. Such permission existed before, but a tradition has developed to prohibit such marriages.

Requirements for godparents

Godparents must be believers!
It is known that during the Sacrament of Baptism, a person’s soul acquires a second birth “from above.” This is written about in the Gospel (John 3:5). Without passing through this Sacrament, salvation is impossible, as the Savior claims. In this case, the person is given a name, one for life. Since this Sacrament was previously received by adults, its execution is intended for adults. At Baptism, a person must consciously renounce the devil and his works, and also confess his faith in Christ.

But at present, this Sacrament is passed on to infants who cannot yet speak. Then the words of renunciation of dark forces and faith in Christ are spoken by adults for them. These people are called godparents.

Who can be a godparent for a boy or girl?

The main criterion when choosing recipients is their belonging to Orthodoxy, as well as their church membership - the desire to live in accordance with Christian truths, fight sin, and correct themselves.

The mission of the adoptive parents is to testify before God for their ward about faith, renunciation of Satan, a promise to build their lives according to the commandments of God, and to help their godson or goddaughter fulfill all these promises in the future life.

Spiritual work continues throughout the life of godparents and their godchildren. Prayer for godchildren must be supported by real deeds: take the child to communion, read spiritual literature with him, learn a prayer, explain the foundations of the Orthodox faith.

The Church allows one of the godparents to be of a different Christian faith - Catholic or Protestant, if there is no possibility of finding an Orthodox Christian in the family environment.

A clergyman can become a godparent, but as a rule, they have many responsibilities and will have little free time for full communication with the godson.

Age of majority is an optional but desirable condition. The responsibility that godparents take on in the face of God involves understanding the importance of the role of the godparent and understanding what spiritual mentoring is.

What should a godfather be like?

Not everyone can become recipients of baptism. There are a number of conditions that candidates for godparents must meet:

churching;
knowledge of the fundamentals of the Orthodox faith;
the desire and opportunity to become a spiritual mentor for the recipient;
good, strong relationships with the family of the newly baptized child.

Godparents must be in close proximity to the newly baptized child. Live in the same city, and preferably not far away, in order to take the little Christian to church for every Sunday and holiday service. Have good, friendly relations with the parents of your godson, so that they are completely trusted and there are no contradictions or worries.

Can godparents be relatives of the child?

The child's relatives, including the closest ones, can be chosen to play the role of recipient. Except for the parents.

Before choosing one of your relatives as your child's adoptive parent, you need to think about this: a few years will pass and the child will grow up. Teenagers are not ready to discuss their problems with their closest relatives; this is the psychology of this age.

They are looking for an authoritative adult outside the family. A godfather could become such a person, help and guide the teenager in the right direction along the Christian path of development. Of course, provided that in all previous years he took an active part in raising his godson, and they developed a trusting relationship.

From this point of view, choosing close relatives for the role of adoptive parents is not always the best solution.

Who cannot become a godfather

There is an unspoken prohibition for an unmarried young lady to be the godmother of a girl if the woman is to take part in the baptismal ceremony for the first time. Popular signs claim that the goddaughter will take away potential family happiness from the godmother. In addition, the godmother will not marry at all.

That is, the girl must baptize the boy first, which, according to signs, will bring her future happiness in marriage.

There are also explanations why an unmarried girl cannot have her first girl baptized. It is believed that the baby can borrow the godmother’s share, therefore, for the role of successor, you need to choose a woman who is happily married.

A superstition that prohibits an unmarried woman from baptizing her first girl.

According to English belief, if an unmarried lady baptizes her first girl and then takes part in the baptism ceremony for a boy, the boy will have no facial hair (neither beard nor mustache). And this is considered satanic machinations, and such a person himself ends up as a servant of Satan.

List of persons who do not have the right to baptize a child:

blood mother and father of the baby;
an unbaptized person or an atheist;
an individual who denies any truth of Orthodox teaching;
a person who perceives the sacrament of baptism as an opportunity to perform a magical rite,
pursuing pagan goals;
an individual who does not want to be the recipient of this child;
adoptive parents;
an individual who is a member of other faiths;
children under 14 years of age;
monks and clergy;
immoral individuals;
mentally disabled persons;
woman during her period.

When choosing godparents, the child’s parents are perplexed as to why they can’t take a married couple as their child’s godparents. Often it is the family of acquaintances that is most suitable for playing the role of mentors. Especially if harmony, love and mutual understanding reign in a married couple. And in spirit and religion, the friends are close to the baby’s parents.

But the church prohibits spouses from being godparents of one child. The reason for the ban is the spiritual connection that arises between recipients during the baptismal ceremony. It becomes the beginning of spiritual intimacy, which rises above any other bonds, including marriage. If a husband and wife become godparents, this will make their marriage impossible in the future.

The ban also applies to couples in a civil marriage or on the verge of marriage.

Moreover, individuals who live together outside of marriage cannot be godparents (such relationships are considered fornication). But in the modern world, they rarely pay attention to these prohibitions; they only take into account people who got married in a church - they are not chosen as godparents.

Rules and tips for choosing godparents

It is right to choose church-going Orthodox Christians who will raise the child in faith and love for God, respect for people.

You need to answer the following questions:

Who can you entrust the body and soul of a child to?
Who will help raise him in faith?
Who can you become spiritually related to?

Godparents are mentors in the Orthodox faith, and not rare guests with gifts at birthdays. True Christian love is the most valuable gift to godchildren from their godparents, and the most important role is to be an example in the organization of Christian life.

Who relates to whom and by whom?

It's easy to get confused in Russian family ties. We often forget who belongs to whom and by whom. As for the rite of baptism, this is how things stand.

At baptism, they usually give the name of a saint, whose day of celebration falls on the baby’s birthday or the next few days. But a worldly name may not coincide with a church name. If a child is named by a name that is not in the calendar, then at baptism a name that is consonant is chosen.

* Godfather is the child’s godfather, in relation to the baby’s parents and his godmother.

* Kuma is the child’s godmother in relation to the child’s parents and godfather.

Everyone now condemns nepotism in politics, but previously helping godchildren was quite common and widespread. There are many sayings about godfathers, including some very funny ones!

This is how it is done - the parents decide and sign up for baptism. Positive emotions, of course, have never harmed anyone, but still think about whether you are truly ready for the baptism of your baby? Guests and a photo shoot are not bad at all, but you can wait until your birthday.

How to choose godparents for a child if the parents are non-believers?

Unbelieving parents can baptize their children. Strictly speaking, the presence of parents is not necessary. In some churches, the priest does not allow parents to attend the Sacrament at all.

Atheists can be godparents for boys and girls

In Soviet times, grandmothers brought their children to be baptized without the participation of atheist parents.

They preserved and remembered the Orthodox faith and hoped for the mercy of God. Having grown up, these children came to God consciously.

Godparents, who can be spiritual educators for boys and girls, take full responsibility for raising a child in the truths of the Gospel.

Their role increases many times over: only they can graft a branch onto the Tree of Life, cultivate the seeds of the Orthodox faith in the soul of the godson.

You can baptize a child even if the parents are of a different faith.

In such situations, first of all, you need to think about the benefits for the child: the parents must have consent to baptism in order to avoid conflicts.

Who can be a child’s godfather: how to choose them

When choosing future godfathers, the attitude of strangers towards my child is of paramount importance. Here you cannot be guided by mercantile considerations and count on the wealth of the named father and mother or their high social status.

It is the godparents who are responsible for the spiritual development of the child. Who should be taken as parents in Christ, the church tells:

Not all Orthodox Christians know whether it is possible to baptize a child without godparents . On this issue, priests have disagreements regarding the canon; in our church I was allowed to perform such a ceremony without strangers. If this seems somehow unacceptable to you, invite your godfather to be your godfather. According to his purpose, he is obliged to lead the baptized to faith and obedience to God. And it certainly won’t teach your baby anything bad.
Siblings, siblings, cousins can also baptize a child . They must be old enough, since now they will have to be responsible not only for themselves, but also for their ward. Grandmothers, grandfathers, aunts and uncles can also be participants in the ceremony, the main thing is that they are of the Orthodox faith. A child can also become a godfather, although it is unlikely that anyone will entrust such an important mission to a minor Christian.
Can a child have one godparent when mom and dad were unable to find a suitable match for him? Of course it can. After all, calling a person to be a godfather just to perform a ceremony is fundamentally wrong. Our priest allowed my colleague to hold the event under these conditions, having previously stipulated that the gender of the baby and the named parent must match.
whether it is possible to baptize a child with a pregnant godmother, often refusing the opportunity to become related to a good person precisely for this reason. When a woman feels great and there are no health problems, pleasant communication with the child and people around her does not threaten her. But pregnancy does not free her from her responsibilities to her godson.

Is it possible to baptize a child without godparents?

Sometimes life situations arise when a child needs to be baptized immediately, for example, if he is in danger of death. A priest can perform the Sacrament of baptism without recipients, so that he can help the child in the struggle for life with the help of the Holy Gifts and the common prayer of the entire Orthodox Church.

In the future, when the baby gets better, you can find people who will become godparents for the child and help the parents spiritually raise the boy or girl. Churched parents can do this on their own.

In emergency situations, lay people can baptize a baby by saying the Baptismal Prayer. At the first opportunity, the priest will complete what he started, since the process of Baptism consists of several stages and ends with the Sacrament of Confirmation.

Responsibilities of godparents

Godparents have serious responsibilities towards their godchildren in raising them in the traditions of the Orthodox Church:

Prayer: pray for the child, and as he grows, teach him to pray, turn to God for help, and trust in Him.
Doctrinal: teach the basics of Orthodoxy, read the Gospel and spiritual literature with him.
Moral: become an example of life in Christ, be a source of love, mercy, kindness.

Godparents renounce sin for the child and undertake obligations for the spiritual education of the godson before God. The Church teaches that at the last judgment He will ask for the upbringing of godchildren in the same way as for the upbringing of his own children.

Now it becomes clear why choosing godparents is a responsible and difficult decision. The connection with them can become stronger than with blood relatives, since it is sanctified by the Lord and based on Christian love.

Baptism of a child: who cannot be appointed godparent

When choosing from friends or relatives the one who will accept this honorable duty, it is necessary to take into account the rules adopted by the Orthodox Church, which do not allow everyone to participate in the rite of baptism.

There is a decree of the Holy Synod, according to which a girl over 13 years old can become a godmother, and a young man who is 15 years old can become a godfather.
Spouses cannot become godfathers and godmothers.
Such responsibilities cannot be delegated to non-believers or people of other faiths.
It is unacceptable for those leading an unrighteous lifestyle to become godparents: alcoholics, drug addicts, riotous women, insane individuals.
Real parents cannot act as godparents.
According to popular beliefs, pregnant women are not taken as godmothers, although Orthodox canons do not prohibit this.
Another popular sign is that the godson and godfather should not have the same name.

How can godparents prepare for the Great Sacrament?

For a churchgoer there is nothing special in preparation. Prayer, fasting, confession, communion, reading the Gospel - the ordinary life of a Christian. Each parish may have its own traditions, so it is worth checking with the church where the baptism will take place whether there are any special requirements for recipients.

In many parishes, so-called public meetings are held for those future godparents who are still little familiar with the life of the Church. The priest explains in detail the main provisions of the Orthodox faith, talks about the Sacrament of Baptism, as well as those parish traditions that relate to baptism.

Godparents, who can serve as receivers from the font for boys and girls, so as not to approach holy responsibilities formally, must prepare themselves to participate in the upcoming Sacrament:

read at least one Gospel;
carefully study the Creed - it is read out loud during baptism;
if possible, learn “Our Father” - one of the main Christian prayers;
confess and receive communion.

Even if the priest does not require it, it is advisable to take such steps. The duties of godparents require involvement in the Church. Therefore, from this moment the deliverance of the recipients themselves from sinful slavery can begin, the beginning of their new life in Christ and with Christ has been laid. Only then is it possible to fully fulfill the duties of a spiritual mentor.

In an Orthodox church, a woman must wear a skirt that covers her knees and cover her head. A man must wear trousers and no headdress.

Who should you not take as godparents to your child?

There is a whole category of people who cannot participate in the sacrament. On this matter, the priests of all churches are unanimous in their opinions and attitudes:

A Catholic or Muslim, an atheist or a Buddhist cannot dedicate a baby to the faith of Christ. Since the main duty of godfathers remains to introduce the ward to the Orthodox canons, a representative of another concession is not suitable as a church mentor;
It is not recommended to perform the ceremony if the godmother is having her period. This rule has been fixed in the minds of believers since the time when women did not have underwear and could dirty the floor in the temple. Now the abbots are more democratic in this regard, however, many women during this period are experiencing poor health, and they are physically unable to devote themselves entirely to the process of baptizing the baby. Therefore, it is better to first talk with the priest and godfather about whether it is possible to baptize a child during menstruation with the godmother.
You cannot take your ex-husband as godparent to your child. The head of a family who has failed to improve relationships in his own home is unlikely to be able to teach the right things to your son. In addition, such a person will not fully fulfill his duties - various problems that often accompany divorce will interfere. This will be another psychological trauma for the child;
a father or mother cannot be godparents to their child. This rule was established long ago, since it is the responsibility of all believers to spread God's word throughout the world. Moreover, in the event of the premature departure of the biological father and mother to another world, there will be no one to further introduce the offspring to the Christian faith and guide him on the righteous path;
Priests also do not allow a married couple to be godmothers to one child. The husband and wife may separate in the future, and the godson will have to choose who to invite to his birthday or wedding. This will be difficult, especially if, as a result of the divorce, the former spouses did not maintain friendly relations. For the same reason, you should refuse to choose young people who are connected by close relationships and intend to start a family in the future;
Priests do not have a consensus on whether it is possible to baptize a child by a godfather or mother. Some Orthodox abbots prohibit holding the sacrament between established relatives in Christ, others do not see anything wrong with this. For example, I asked our parish priest if the godfather could be my child’s godmother. Father answered in the affirmative, considering that she is a very pious woman, she treats my children well and we have been friends for decades;
to become a godfather for several children or not - everyone decides for themselves. It must be remembered that this is a big load and lifelong responsibilities, so priests do not advise spreading yourself thin.

Is it possible to change godparents?

Sometimes parents want to change the godparents of the child's mother or father. I also turned to the priest about this when the named parents simply forgot about their youngest daughter, in fact, immediately after the ceremony. Unfortunately, the priest’s answer was categorical - this cannot be done.

For example, if you replace your mother, you get a stepmother; if you replace your godfather, you get a mentor and a mentor. Therefore, it is impossible to baptize a child with other godparents or change one of the godfathers; you can only pray for negligent relatives in Christ.

On a note! Famous icons with photos

What should godparents have during a christening?

To perform the Sacrament of Baptism, a priest only needs a cross and a shirt; everything else is a tribute to tradition.

Most often, godparents prepare:

Orthodox pectoral cross - a symbol of the cross on which Jesus Christ sacrificed himself. The child will wear it from the moment of baptism, so you need to choose a comfortable size and not traumatic. The length of the rope or chain also matters: if it’s long, a child can get entangled.
Read also: Useful gymnastics for children 3 months old and mutual communication
White baptismal shirt - the white color symbolizes the Transfiguration: Jesus Christ on Mount Tabor appeared before the disciples in the radiance of white light. The person being baptized is also transformed during the Sacrament, and the white shirt is a visible image of this transformation. She should dress easily.
A diaper or towel in which the baby is wrapped after immersion, the so-called kryzhma. She is also a symbol of a new, clean life.

These items are kept throughout life as a shrine. There is no need to wash the kryzhma: if a child gets sick, you can cover the baby with it so that it will help him recover faster.

There are no strict rules about who prepares what for baptism. Different localities and parishes have their own traditions, and they may differ from each other. You need to agree in advance who is responsible for what.

The child’s parents can prepare everything they need themselves. Things sewn or knitted will retain the warmth of the hands and love of the one who created them.

What else to consider before Baptism:

An important question concerns the cost of baptism. The Sacrament of Baptism, like all other Sacraments and rites of the Church, is performed free of charge. As a sign of gratitude, you can donate a certain amount to the temple. You can find out its size at the arrival or determine it yourself.
Usually the child is given a certificate of Baptism, the names of the child and his adoptive parents are written on it, so their documents may be needed.
You need to find out whether it is possible to photograph the Baptism process; not all priests allow this.
The sacrament lasts long enough, the baby will need ordinary care products.

Responsibilities of godparents

The responsibilities of godparents are divided into those that they are required to perform before and during baptism, and those that they must perform in the future.

The first group includes the following responsibilities:

Before baptism, the godparents, and sometimes the child’s parents, must undergo public conversations at the church in which it is planned to baptize the child. Their form and duration are determined individually.
During the sacrament, the godfather or mother receives the child after he is immersed in the font, and can hold the baptismal shirt and cross to put on the newly baptized person.

The recipients pronounce the required vows in place of the baptized baby, and say the prayers: Creed and Our Father. It is advisable that they know more about Orthodoxy than is necessary within the sacrament of baptism.
Godparents are not required to give gifts, but they can do so. A popular gift for babies is a small spoon, which will be the first spoon the baby will use to eat.

Responsibilities of godparents after baptism

Why godparents are needed for a child after baptism is easy to understand if we turn to their direct biblical purpose. In this connection, the responsibilities of godparents after baptism are divided into three groups:

Prayerful - they should try to pray for their godchildren and teach them at least basic prayers.
Doctrinal - to give the godchildren an idea of the Orthodox faith.
Moral - to teach godchildren to behave according to their conscience and to be a worthy example for them.

Baptism procedure

Baptism takes place in the temple itself or in a special baptismal room, which can be a separate building. In fact, these are two separate Sacraments, following each other: Baptism and Confirmation.

The entire procedure lasts about 40 minutes. All this time the baby is in the arms of the recipients, they hand him over to the priest when the ritual requires it.

Godparents, who can be spiritual parents for boys or girls, can familiarize themselves with the Baptism diagram to imagine how everything will happen:

Stages of the Baptism procedure	Actions taking place in the temple
Order of announcement: Three prohibitions against unclean spirits	Special prayers of “prohibitions” are read over the person being baptized.
Renunciation of Satan	The recipient, on behalf of the baby, loudly renounces Satan three times.
Combination of Christ	One of the godparents reads the Creed for the baby.
Sacrament of Baptism: Blessing of water and oil	The priest reads special prayers for consecration, first water, and then oil (oil)
Immersion in the font	The recipient receives the child after the font in Kryzhma. The priest puts a cross on the child.
Vestment of the newly baptized	The recipients put the baptismal shirt on the baby
Sacrament of Confirmation:	Parts of the body are anointed with myrrh, thus giving the gifts of the Holy Spirit.
Procession around the font	Godparents with candles and a baby in their arms walk around the font three times.
Reading the Gospel	They listen to the Gospel with candles in their hands.
Washing away the Holy Peace	The priest washes away the remnants of the world.
Hair cutting	The priest cuts off some hair from the baby's head in a cross shape, which he wraps in wax and lowers into the font. This is the first sacrifice to God and a sign of submission to Him.
Churching	The priest walks around the temple with the baby in his arms, and the boys are still brought into the altar.

It is advisable to give the child communion for the first time the next day.

The sacrament of Baptism is the first sacrament that a Christian receives. Without it, the beginning of a new life with Christ and in Christ is impossible, and, therefore, salvation is impossible. A newborn child has not yet done anything wrong, but he inherits the sinful nature of his first parents. He is already on his way to death.

During Baptism, in an incomprehensible way, a person is cleansed from sin, dies to it and is born again in purity, receiving hope for salvation and eternal life. This is possible only in connection with the Lord. The Body of Christ is called the Church.

According to its wise arrangement, the Sacrament of Confirmation follows immediately after Baptism. A person receives the mysterious gifts of the Holy Spirit, which will act invisibly in him and strengthen him in his desire to live according to Christ.

Godparents, who can guide boys and girls on the path to eternal life, take responsibility for whether they go forward or stay put. The sacrament of Baptism so far only places the child at the beginning of this road.

Is the magical, magical effect of Baptism possible without faith? The answer to this question is given by the Gospel: “According to your faith, be it done to you” (Matthew 9:29). Where there is true faith, there is no need for superstition.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V6Rc9Fk5a4g

How to choose godparents and prepare for baptism

The baptism of a child is an important event for parents. Therefore, you need to prepare for it in advance. How exactly, Dmitry Nikolaev, a priest and cleric of the Church of the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary in Petrovsky Park in Moscow, told MIR 24 readers.

— Father Dmitry, please tell us how baptism occurs and what is its main essence?

Baptism is the first church sacrament encountered by a person intending to live a spiritual life. Its meaning is that a person takes the first step into this life and becomes a member of the Church. This sacrament is performed only once in a lifetime.

Our Lord, Jesus Christ, ascending to the Father after his Resurrection, commanded the apostles to teach people everything that he taught them. And including, baptizing people in the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

During the process of the sacrament, the rite of naming is performed on a person, preparatory prayers and prayers are read, containing a prohibition for the devil to have power over this person. Because as a result of the fall of one of the very first and most beautiful angels that once happened, and the subsequent war in the spiritual world, the bound and far from omnipotent Satan nevertheless constantly rebels against those who strive for God and hinders them with all possible forces and means. Therefore, before being united with Christ, we drive Satan away from ourselves and renounce him.

The water is also blessed. A person is anointed with blessed oil and baptized in water in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. The grace of God descends on a person, all his sins that he committed in his life remain in the font, and he goes out into the world as a renewed, newly born spiritual baby. His spiritual eyes open, he sees the world differently and feels differently. That is, a person is given a unique chance to start life anew.

During baptism, a person is also given a Guardian Angel, who accompanies him on all paths. The angel will rejoice for his ward in goodness and suffer from his every evil step or intention.

The person being baptized puts on clean clothes, and then the second sacrament, also possible only once in his life, is performed—confirmation. There is a well-known expression: “we are smeared with the same world.” But many people don’t even know what it means. And it says that we were baptized in the same Church and were anointed from the same vessel, and we are actually family people.

In the sacrament of anointing a person is given the seal of the Holy Spirit on all his senses. These are a kind of locks that Satan cannot pass through. During baptism, he is expelled and cannot pass through these seals until the person himself opens it to him, as the kids did to the gray wolf.

A procession of the cross takes place around the font, and the Holy Scriptures are read. Then the Holy Chrism is washed off with a special sponge and the rite of hair cutting is performed - a small strand is cut from the head in a cross shape, as a symbol of sacrifice and obedience.

In order to become more familiar with the rites of the sacrament of baptism, to begin to understand the deep meanings behind external actions, you need to at least become a participant in public conversations, which should be attended by both parents, godparents, and the person himself who is preparing for baptism, if he adult. Self-education and reading specialized literature will never hurt.

— How to choose godparents?

Parents must take their choice of godfather or godmother seriously. Sometimes two godparents are chosen, but this is simply a pious Russian tradition, stemming from the idea that a child should have both a mother and a father. In principle, one godfather or godmother is quite enough. But definitely of the same sex as the child, because a boy is raised by a man, and a girl by a woman. The main task of the godfather is to pray for his godson and take care of his Christian upbringing.

In our tradition, a godfather (or godmother) is a person who acts as an older friend and mentor to a child. If it may be inconvenient for a child to share something with his parents, then it is easier to do this with his godfather, provided that he is an older comrade who is stronger spiritually and who can be trusted with his secrets and doubts. And he can suggest the right path.

Very often, parents choose godparents simply out of friendship. They themselves go to church once a year and call the same godparent. But you need to understand that the godfather must have something to give the child in terms of his spiritual development. Simply put, you need a specialist. When parents look for teachers for their child, they choose them not for friendship, but for professional qualities. The same must be done here.

— Is it possible to choose as godparents those who do not live in the same city as the godson?

Why not? Quite possible! We live in the 21st century, we have such means of communication that we can live even on another planet, and at the same time maintain contact with those who are dear to us all the time. And if a godfather raises his godson, even living in another city, then everything is fine. But seeing each other every day, even living nearby, is still unrealistic. So it doesn’t matter how far away the godfather lives, but it must be a person with whom the child has an open spiritual friendship.

— How should parents and godparents prepare for the baptism of a child?

Baptism is an event on a universal scale! A person is born into Eternal Life! This is a holiday, and, of course, we need to prepare for it. And not so much to set tables for relatives, but to cook for ourselves.

The first responsibility of parents and godparents is to raise their children in the Christian faith. If they do not know anything about their faith, then before baptism, public conversations are held for them, which I have already mentioned. There are at least two conversations, they are conducted by a priest, deacon or a person specially trained for this - a catechist.

At these conversations, parents learn who God is, what the Church is and in whom we believe. Because it is very important to know the basics of our spiritual life. We must understand where we are going ourselves and where we are sending our child. After all, even when parents send their child to a club or section, they find out everything about it. Especially when someone enters an educational institution. After all, he is preparing for this, taking exams. It’s the same here: you need to have a clear idea of where you are entering.

Before baptism, parents and godparents should go to church, cleanse their souls at confession, and partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ.

There are exceptions: for example, a mother cannot participate in the sacraments for 40 days after giving birth. She goes through a period of physiological cleansing and does not begin the sacraments - neither confession nor communion. If parents definitely want to baptize their child during this period, then we allow the mother to be present at the baptism, but nothing more. If these 40 days have already passed after giving birth, then the priest reads prayers of permission over her, and she can confess and receive communion. Before baptism, godparents need to do everything the same as parents.

Godparents for a child are in a sense more important than blood parents, because spiritual kinship is higher than blood. When choosing godparents, it is important to consider that godparents of the same child cannot be husband and wife, groom and bride.

And one more important limitation. If, for example, a single mother baptizes her son, then she cannot have any personal, close relationship with this child’s godfather. If this does arise, this situation is absurd and will not lead to anything good.

—Can a priest refuse to baptize a child?

Sometimes situations like this happen. It is important that the child's parents are legally married. Because if parents live in an adulterous union, which is now called a civil marriage, then the child will suffer from this. What is the point of baptizing him, giving him to Christ, if the parents themselves live in mortal sin? It turns out that with one hand we give the child into the hands of Christ, and with the other we crucify Christ.

If the marriage of parents is not sanctified by the Church, but is witnessed before people and the state, whose laws we recognize, then the Church recognizes such a marriage, in the hope that this couple, who testified before people that they are husband and wife, will subsequently come to understand the necessity of a wedding . Why do we admit it? Because the notorious stamp in the passport obliges them to bear responsibility for their union.

And if this is not the case, then today they like each other, but the day after tomorrow they don’t like each other and run away. Everyone suffers. Both themselves and the children. And a woman who foolishly trusted, who does not know the commandments of God, who has no rights, since marriage as such does not exist, sometimes ends up on the street, and even with a child.

Before the revolution, there were no registry offices, and all marriages were registered in the church. There were no problems with stamps or other discrepancies. Now the situation is different.

— Is it possible to baptize a child if the parents themselves are unbaptized?

You need to talk to such parents. Why baptize a child if the parents themselves are not at all interested in God, the creator of the universe? What's the point? This is not a shamanic ritual that needs to be performed so that the child does not get sick. Or is it just the way it is? If they are unbaptized, but they have a sincere desire to baptize a child, then it would be better for them to be baptized all together. We baptize our parents according to faith, but if there is no faith at all, then it will turn out to be profanation. Yes, of course, I feel sorry for the children. We want them to be baptized. But this is somewhat absurd. We don’t say: my wife and I are Orthodox, but we want to send our child to Buddhism! And this is essentially the same thing.

We are baptized in order to become one with Christ! And this means being crucified with him, and dying, and being resurrected! What will a child be able to feel if his parents are absolutely unbelieving people? How will he be raised in the faith?

In general, the situation is some kind of theoretical, fictitious. In any case, I have not encountered this in my practice.

If it so happens that one of the parents is not baptized, but the other goes to church and wants to baptize the child, then, of course, you need to come and baptize. In general, there is a rule that if an Orthodox person marries a non-believer or a non-believer, then this marriage is permitted provided that children are raised in the Orthodox faith.

— What do you need to prepare for baptism?

Parents must prepare a cross, a marriage certificate, a child's birth certificate, a baptismal shirt and a towel for baptism. If the child is already older, then slippers are needed so that he walks in them to the font and, when leaving it, does not end up barefoot.

— Who can be invited to baptism, can unbaptized relatives and friends come?

Anyone can come to baptism! Sharing the joy of a new member joining the Church is very good and right. It’s good to take a photographer or cinematographer with you to capture the joyful moment. It is not forbidden to remove baptism. Then you can watch this recording again at home and rejoice once again.

— How should an adult prepare for the sacrament?

A person who decides to be baptized as an adult must want to understand where he has come. He also goes to public talks. These conversations are the same for everyone: those who want to be baptized, parents of babies, and godparents come to them. And like everyone who participates in these conversations, he must read the Gospel and be sure to examine the Creed. This is a fundamental document developed at the first two Ecumenical Councils back in the 4th century. It contains in 12 sentences all the main tenets of our faith.

It is impossible for him to confess before the sacrament, since he is not yet a baptized person. But it would be very good for him to talk with the priest immediately before Epiphany or the day before. Such a conversation is similar to confession: he must tell the priest the same thing that he would say in confession in order to cleanse his soul. The Lord still looks at it and hears it all. And when a person is baptized, he becomes like a pure baby, and his entire past life, all his mistakes and sins are forgiven him freely. In the future, a person no longer needs to confess to them.

— Do adults need godparents? Who can he invite to baptism?

No, an adult no longer needs godparents. And he can invite anyone to baptism: friends and relatives, all the people close to him with whom he wants to share this joy.

— What should change after baptism in the lives of those who were baptized and their loved ones?

A man came to church. Churching must begin in his life. Previously, he lived without this, but now a person participates in the sacraments, attends church services, reads the Gospel at home and prays. Because he became a member of the Church and it is interesting and dear to him, and for this he is ready to give his life. Anyone who wants to be baptized should have this attitude.

He is like a man who wants to get married because he loves his chosen one, wants to see her all the time and cannot live without her. The same is true for a man who wants to be baptized. He can no longer live without Christ, so he goes and is baptized. And from this day on he becomes a faithful and steadfast warrior of Christ.

Photo: From the archive of priest Dmitry Nikolaev

What to give to a godson or goddaughter?

A christening gift should have a spiritual meaning, be useful for the further upbringing of the child in Orthodox traditions and remind of the day of spiritual birth.

It can be:

cross;
icon;
christening shirt and towel;
Gospel and other spiritual literature;
A silver spoon is a baby’s first spoon, a “tooth gift.”

Many interesting gifts are sold in church shops. It's not about the cost, but about the spiritual value of the item.

Can a pregnant woman be a godmother?

There are no obstacles for a woman to become a godmother.

It is necessary to evaluate whether she has enough love, kindness and opportunities for two children: her unborn one and the adopted one. Not only spiritual and prayerful help is required from godparents, but also effective help, requiring strength and time.

Tips for choosing godparents

There are certain unspoken recommendations, guided by which you can choose suitable godparents for your child:

You can take brothers and sisters for this role, but one of them should not be direct relatives.
People must be believers because they will have to attend church with their child, read prayers for his health and provide spiritual education.
People should not have problems with the law, not commit adultery, not abuse alcohol and not use drugs.
A girl can be baptized by her own sister or cousin, provided that she is 14 years old. A guy must baptize a girl no earlier than he reaches 15 years of age.
You should not invite a stranger, a passing acquaintance, or a person with whom the connection with may be severed.
When choosing mentors for a child, one should not be guided by one’s own benefit. All thoughts associated with the ritual must be pure.

Attention!

The restrictions on the number of godchildren for one person are far-fetched. Women and men can have as many spiritual children as they like. The main thing is that they have enough time, warmth and attention to ensure proper upbringing.

A married couple cannot be godparents of a child. A married woman can baptize a girl first; it is not recommended to do this before marriage. But this rule has nothing to do with church prohibitions. Mysticism and esotericism intervene here. It is believed that a goddaughter can take away an unmarried girl’s right to family happiness, and she will not marry.

In Orthodoxy, church rules recommend choosing reliable people as godparents for your child. Those who will not get lost during life, will not break the connection with their godson and will help him. You need to pay attention not to material status, but to spiritual status. When choosing a mentor for your child, you can talk with the candidates and find out what they think about religion and what they mean by faith in the Lord.

Is it possible to refuse godparents?

A child cannot refuse such godparents. Godparents may change for the worse and stop fulfilling their responsibilities towards their godson or goddaughter. In such cases, you need to teach the child to pray for their correction. This will become for him a lesson in Christian love and mercy.

If parents still need help in the spiritual upbringing of their child, they can find a pious, church-going person and ask him to take on the responsibilities of a godparent, but he still will not be considered a godparent. For such an agreement it is necessary to obtain the blessing of a priest or confessor, if you have one.

Who should be chosen as a godfather for a child?

According to the decree of the Holy Synod, the following can become godparents: girls who are 13 years , boys who are 15 years old. That is, there is absolutely no need to be an adult for this role.

Usually, people close to the family of good character and high morality are chosen as godparents, so that the child can learn from them the main Christian commandments. In this capacity, fairly close relatives of the baby may well be chosen - grandparents, uncles or aunts. The main thing is that they fully meet the qualities described above. It is not customary for people to appoint siblings as godparents.

Dear parents, if you have already identified worthy people for yourself and want them to take on the responsibility of being the spiritual mentors of your child, then be sure to discuss this with them in advance, because it is believed that this honorable responsibility cannot be refused.

Is it possible to baptize a child for normal upbringing in the faith?

There is no such thing as rebaptism in the Orthodox Church. A person is not born twice, either physically or spiritually, and Baptism is a spiritual birth in Christ.

In order for a child to be raised in the Orthodox faith, the adults around him must live according to the canons of this faith and be an example in a pious Christian life.

The responsibility that falls on godparents is great. Their mission goes beyond the time-bound nature of earthly life. Godparents are those who can be guides to the Kingdom of God for boys and girls.

Article design: Vladimir the Great

At what age can you receive the sacrament of baptism?

Baptism is one of the main Christian rites, which marks the spiritual birth of a person. After performing this sacrament, every Christian gains the protection of higher powers - heavenly angels who will protect him from everything bad in life.

Many parents now want to baptize their child in infancy. The Orthodox Church allows the ceremony to be performed only after the baby reaches 40 days after birth. An exception is made only for very sick and weak children.

All babies must have godparents at baptism. These are those people who voluntarily take upon themselves the obligation to be spiritual mentors and trustees of a newly minted Christian.

The role of godparents is not limited only to the baptismal ceremony itself; they must take care of their godson for the rest of his life - teach him to be a kind, moral and loving Christian, help in difficult moments of life, and give wise advice. If a person’s blood parents for some reason cannot be with him, then his spiritual mentor takes on this responsibility.