Every new parent dreams of the day when their baby begins to sleep peacefully, without colic, whims and, most importantly, night feedings. Even knowing how important good nutrition is for a baby, it can be difficult for mothers, after the daily hustle and bustle and constant worries, to get up every 3 or even 1.5-2 hours to put the baby to the breast or give a bottle of formula. Especially if the months go by, the child grows, and the habit of eating at night, and more than once, remains unchanged. The question arises: up to what age are additional snacks considered the norm, and how do you know when it’s time to stop your baby from waking up his parents in the middle of the night?
Until what age does a child eat at night?
This is one of the main issues of concern to young mothers, who know first-hand what chronic lack of sleep and constant fatigue are. During the daytime, the good appetite of the little one, which is growing by leaps and bounds, is a source of pride and affection for any parents. But as night falls, things don't look so rosy. Newborn babies often require attention for days on end, latching on to the breast every hour or two. But this does not mean that there is something wrong with them. In the first months of life, due to the immaturity of the digestive system, it is difficult to properly organize the baby’s nutrition, hence the need for frequent night snacks, which can persist for quite a long time.
Each child has his own individual maturation schedule, so there is no clear answer to the question of when it is time to give up night feedings
In the first 3 months of a newborn’s life, the mother puts the baby to the breast an average of 3-4 times at night. Closer to 4-5 months, the number of additional snacks is reduced to 2-3. Starting from 6 months of age, most infants wake up even less often at night - no more than 1-2 times. This is primarily due to the introduction of complementary foods and an increase in the volume of portions during daytime feedings. From morning to evening, the baby receives such an amount of nutrients that he can sleep peacefully for 6-7 hours at night. Children who are still breastfed at 9-12 months may also sometimes wake up to feel their mother's presence and have a small snack, but not more than once a night.
What time do bottle-fed babies stop eating at night? Formula milk is more nutritious than breast milk, so these babies need additional snacks less often. Even babies under 3 months old can wake up no more than 2 times during the night, and by six months, as a rule, they wake up their parents no more than 1 time. Starting from 9 months of age, pediatricians recommend gradually reducing the number of night feedings for bottle-fed babies, replacing the formula first with water and then with a pacifier.
Approximate number of night feedings for breastfed and bottle-fed children under one year of age
How to Know When Your Child is Ready to Stop Night Snacking
You need to gradually wean your baby off the habit of eating at night. You cannot decide one day that the child is already 6 months old, which means he should sleep peacefully until the morning and not disturb his parents. But even with a gentle approach, you can move on to active actions only after making sure that the child is ready for this, and the absence of snacks in the dark will not harm him. There is no longer an urgent need for night feedings if:
- the child is healthy, active and developing in accordance with his age;
- the baby is gaining weight;
- the child is less likely to latch on to the breast or ask for a bottle during the day;
- complete and varied complementary foods were introduced;
- every night the child wakes up his parents at approximately the same time;
- The baby does not completely eat a portion of milk or formula for a night snack.
As a rule, parents notice these signs in children from 6-7 to 12 months. Therefore, when a child is one year old, and he still continues to demand food several times a night, most likely he is not hungry, but is accustomed to doing so. In addition, parents themselves often contribute to the formation of such a habit. During the natural change of phases of sleep, the baby may wake up briefly, move or even cry, and the mother, instead of letting him calm down without outside help, immediately offers the breast or a bottle with formula. Therefore, before feeding a child older than six months at night, you should wait a couple of minutes - it is possible that he will fall asleep again, without a snack or rocking.
The value of night milk
Firstly, breast milk contains morphine-like substances, which definitely help the baby fall asleep. Indeed, soon after the baby begins to attach to the breast, his eyes begin to close. Moreover, these substances act regardless of the child’s age. In addition, research has proven that the composition of milk changes depending on the time of day, with the greatest amount of sedatives that calm the nervous system being contained in milk from eight o’clock in the evening to eight in the morning.
Secondly, knowing the baby’s behavior will help organize “quiet” nights, since when the next portion of milk arrives, it will help push back the time of awakening and the baby will go into deep sleep again. This usually happens like this: the mother fed the baby in the evening, after 1-1.5 the baby may begin to spin, grunt, stick out his tongue, and here it is important, without waiting for him to wake up, to put him to the breast again, and the duration of deep sleep will be longer - 2-3 hours. And thus, the baby can attach to the breast several times during the night. And with the help of mother’s milk, you can safely experience the superficial phase of sleep without tears or screams.
If you do not practice co-sleeping, you need to transfer your baby to the crib during the deep sleep phase. It's very easy to define. The child releases the breast on his own, breathing becomes even, and the eyes under the eyelids stop “running.” If all these conditions are met, then mom will certainly have a couple of hours to relax. Interestingly, for a baby there is no difference between night and day, so using this algorithm you can also extend the baby’s daytime sleep time. You need to offer your baby the breast for any anxiety, not only while awake (the so-called requirement), but even during sleep; in most cases, after a little refreshment, the baby will continue to sleep. There may, of course, be exceptions, but they are usually associated with anxiety due to the baby’s physical discomfort, and not with sleep phases or hunger.
Separately, I would like to note that if for one reason or another you feed the baby with expressed milk, then it is just as useful for going through the superficial phase of sleep as direct breastfeeding, but it is better to express it immediately before feeding, so that all the “nighttime” elements are in were present. The mixture, no matter how some mothers praise it because after the baby eats a portion, he sleeps soundly, is harmful. The harm lies in the fact that cow's milk protein, which is heavy, takes a very long time to digest. Therefore, the baby also goes into deep sleep for a long time, and consequently, all processes of growth and development are inhibited.
What are the benefits of night feedings?
1. Feeding your baby at night is one of the main WHO recommendations on breastfeeding. 2. Prolactin is a hormone responsible for the amount of milk; it is secreted especially intensively at night. If there is not enough stimulation of the breast at night, there may not be enough milk. The milk production process follows the principle that demand creates supply. That is, the more the baby sucks, especially at night, the more milk there will be tomorrow. 3. Since the child is growing rapidly, he needs a constant supply of building material, which is what frequent night feedings provide. In addition, it is at night that breast milk is most fatty, which is especially important for the development of the nervous system. 4. Breast milk helps the functioning of the baby’s still immature intestines. Thanks to its substances, food is digested and excreted from the body in a timely manner. 5. Milk contains painkillers, as well as an immune factor, which help the baby during illness or during teething, when night sleep is often disturbed.
Feeding correctly at night
Each mother chooses the most convenient option for feeding at night. Some people practice co-sleeping with their baby, others move the baby’s crib closer to theirs, removing one of the backrests so that after the baby falls asleep they can quietly roll it away. There are mothers who manage to relax and feed safely while sitting in a chair and then successfully transfer the baby to his cradle. But at the same time, there are a number of factors that will facilitate night feedings: 1. It is necessary to avoid bright lighting, it can wake up the baby, in addition, the phases of sleep and wakefulness are regulated by the hormone melatonin, and it is destroyed in bright light. But complete darkness is also unsafe, since the baby cannot be seen. Therefore, you need to choose very dim lighting. 2. For the mother to rest, the best position for night feedings is lying down. In this case, you can safely place the baby’s head on your forearm, since the mother’s hand is like an orthopedic crib for him. But you can just be nearby, especially in the case of large breasts. 3. Give the breast the first concern, otherwise the baby may wake up and go into a state of wakefulness, and then it will be somewhat more difficult to put him to sleep. 4. So that mom can get more rest, let dad or someone close to her feed the baby at least a couple of times a night. 5. When staying in the same bed with your baby, you must remember about safety. Basic rules can be outlined as follows: • You cannot sleep with the baby if the mother has taken any sedatives, sleeping pills or alcohol; • It is not advisable to place the baby between you and dad or other family members (so as not to injure the baby); • It is necessary to monitor the baby’s clothes, and in order to protect him from overheating, do not dress him too hot (since it is much warmer in the arms of a mother than in a lonely crib); • It is advisable that the surface of the sleeping place be hard, without an airy feather bed, so as not to block the baby’s oxygen; • It is necessary to consider protection for the baby on the outside of the bed to avoid falling.
Do I need to wake him up for this?
If a baby sleeps all night, do parents need to wake him up specifically to feed him? There is an opinion that on average a newborn should eat 2-3 times a night, and only when the baby turns 3 months old should the number of night feedings be gradually reduced. But in practice this rule does not always work. Not all children need snacks at night. Breastfed babies, who eat with appetite during the day, often rest at night for 5-6 hours without waking up, and at the same time gain weight and actively develop.
For formula-fed babies, the intervals between feedings may be even longer, because formula milk is more nutritious than breast milk and takes longer to digest. This means that waking up a sweetly sleeping baby in the middle of the night and trying to force feed him is not a good idea. This creates confusion in the child’s biorhythms, creating conditions for future sleep disturbances, interfering with the functioning of the digestive system and creating a habit of waking up parents in the middle of the night to “talk.”
For the normal development of the baby, a good night's rest is no less important than regular nutrition, so you should not satisfy one need at the expense of another.
The only exceptions are premature and low birth weight newborns, for whom additional feedings are vital. In the first months, until their weight and height return to normal, pediatricians recommend giving them breast milk or formula every 3 hours, both during the day and at night. Another point that deserves attention is related to snacking during sleep. Some mothers, in order to give themselves the opportunity to rest at night and not suffer from constant lack of sleep, leave a bottle of formula or expressed milk in the crib next to the baby. If the baby is already showing independence and holds her without assistance during feeding, this way out of the situation may seem ideal: wake up, half-asleep have a snack and continue to sleep without disturbing anyone. But this is a mistaken opinion. Leaving a baby unattended while feeding is dangerous at any age if the baby is strong enough to remove the nipple from the bottle, putting himself at risk of choking. Well, if the parents believe that he wakes up at night not at all from hunger, but in order to satisfy the sucking reflex, you can leave a pacifier next to him. This is safer and will help quickly rid your baby of the bad habit of eating in the crib.
Not all children really need snacks after dark.
The need to wake up at night is the very moment that spoils the pleasure of breastfeeding for so many mothers.
At the same time, often with age, children begin to wake up more often, and the question “how to wean from night feedings” is one of the most discussed on maternal forums.
Waking up at night is normal
First of all, the main thing to remember is that it is completely natural for a child to wake up several times during the night. Any child, regardless of the type of feeding, up to 3-4 years old can sleep without a break for no more than 6 hours, and most often 4-5 hours. Uninterrupted sleep for 8-10 hours, as adults often expect, is simply not the physiological norm. Babies have different rhythms of shallow and deep sleep: in an adult, the duration of shallow sleep is about 20% of the total sleep time, and in a newborn - 80%. A six-month-old baby is in shallow sleep 50% of the total sleep time, and a two- to three-year-old is about 30%. This is physiologically justified: according to the research of the famous psychologist Winnicott, it is in superficial sleep that the brain actively develops.
Shallow sleep is easily interrupted, which is why the child often wakes up as soon as something begins to bother him - for example, the absence of his mother nearby. And the simplest and surest way to calm the baby is, of course, breastfeeding. Those parents who believe that “artificial” children sleep better are mistaken. Sometimes they actually sleep more soundly, simply because the formula takes longer and harder to digest than mother’s milk, and the body puts all its energy into digesting food, and this task becomes more important than adequate brain development. Other children still wake up, but they don’t call their mother because they don’t expect help from her. They are already accustomed to the fact that the mother does not satisfy all the needs of the child, but only those that she chooses herself, and they cannot expect much support from her. But a significant part of bottle-fed babies still wake up and call for their mother, and do not always calm down with just a bottle, but require, for example, rocking to sleep...
From the point of view of nature, night feedings are very reasonable: the maximum amount of prolactin - the hormone on which the volume of lactation depends - is formed between 3 and 8 o'clock in the morning. It is at this time that children tend to wake up. In this case, the newborn will wake up because, after continuous intrauterine nutrition, he is unable to withstand long breaks between meals. Older children wake up more often at night precisely after they begin to feed less frequently during the day - morning feedings serve the purpose of maintaining lactation. Children after six months are often awakened by teething. And those who are over a year old often make up for the lack of tactile communication with their mother in this way.
Very common advice, especially from the older generation, is to “let the child scream” and then at some point he will stop disturbing his parents at night. Various methods are proposed, the purpose of which is to teach the child to “sleep independently.” Margot Sunderland, director of the Center for Child Psychological Health in London, based on a 4-year study of the results of brain ultrasound and scientific research, came to the following conclusion: “If you ignore a crying child, put him in a separate room to sleep, you can cause serious damage to the brain. baby's brain. This can cause many serious neurological diseases and emotional problems in the future."
“So, is it inevitable to suffer from lack of sleep?!” - many will exclaim. However, there is good news: firstly, the sleep rhythms of a nursing mother also change, and provided that she sleeps together with her baby, 2-4 awakenings per night have virtually no effect on the mother’s rest. It’s another matter if the mother has to get up and go somewhere to feed, when the rhythms of her sleep are not synchronized with the child sleeping separately. But even then, a daytime nap with the baby can come to the rescue: do not try to redo all the things when the baby has fallen asleep, but go to sleep yourself, best of all - still nearby, this will ensure a calmer and longer sleep for the child.
Secondly, at some age, children definitely stop waking up at night. And this happens the earlier, the more fully the baby’s needs for nighttime contact with his parents are satisfied. Finally, in addition to simply ignoring the child, which always poses a lot of stress for the baby, there are gentler ways to reduce the night feedings that have become too frequent.
Improving a child's sleep up to one year
In fact, there are many ways to reduce night feedings that have become too frequent. But in each family, depending on the developmental characteristics of the baby and the psychological make-up of the parents themselves, some of them will work, while others will not. All that remains is to try, carefully monitoring the baby’s reaction.
If the child is under one year old, then trying to reduce night feedings by removing the baby is dangerous for his mental balance. Persuasion also does not work yet, so parents’ actions should not be directed at the baby himself, but at factors that can cause frequent waking up.
Starting from about 5 months (sometimes a little earlier or later), children are forced to wake up more often by discomfort from cutting teeth. It is understandable that this is very worrying for the mother, but breastfeeding remains the simplest and easiest way for the whole family to soothe the baby's anxiety. Many mothers of “artificial babies” at this age complain not just about the fact that the baby wakes up, but about the fact that they have to rock the aching baby for a long time in the middle of the night only so that after an hour or two he wakes up again...
Several ways to ease the situation:
- try remedies to relieve teething pain: for example, Kalgel, Kamistad. Please read the instructions carefully before use. As a rule, they cannot be used more than once a day. In this case, try to make do with other means during the day (refrigerated teethers, etc.) so that the use limit does not end prematurely.
- If a baby over six months old eats complementary foods in any significant quantities, at least a few spoons, you can try to move it closer to bedtime. Children who eat a large meal before bed usually wake up less often. Offer your baby the breast right before you go to bed: Even if your baby is asleep, most babies can latch on and nurse without waking up. Feeding this way is better than going to bed only to be woken up an hour or two later to feed.
- think about bathing your baby. If they calm him down, move them closer to bedtime - but if, on the contrary, they invigorate him, then it is better to do them in the morning. Bathing with baby salt with lavender extract or with soothing herbs (valerian, hops, motherwort) promotes more restful sleep. Some mothers drip 1-2 drops of lavender onto the baby's pillow or diaper (attention, it is very important that the lavender essential oil is natural - for example, Vivasan or Iris; the consequences of using artificial oils are unpredictable!)
Many children, learning new skills, become very interested in learning about the world and almost stop sucking during the day. Such active babies, even if the mother herself offers the breast, can feed for literally two or three minutes, and then they abandon the breast and again strive somewhere. Sometimes the decrease in daytime contact with the mother is compensated by a sharp increase in night feedings. What to do in this case?
- Try setting up a quiet feeding area. Restless babies are less distracted if you offer them the breast in silence, in a dark place (you can, for example, close the curtains) or under the cover of a diaper. Try to take advantage of the fact that children in any case nurse longer around their dreams - before falling asleep and after waking up. Let's suck longer before falling asleep, especially at night. Do not rush to wean as soon as the baby falls asleep - children have the unique ability to sleep and feed at the same time, thereby satisfying the need for close communication with their mother.
- Maintain as much physical contact as possible during the daytime - caress, carry in your arms or in a sling, many children lack this. You should not strive for your baby to spend a lot of time in independent games - play with him yourself, touch him. There is another interesting pattern: many children begin to “hang” on their mother more often during the day or at night, just before making a new leap in development - for example, starting to walk.
And one more piece of advice for mothers of children under one year old who wake up easily at night - try to fall asleep with your child, this will reduce your lack of sleep. If you still need to leave, wait next to the baby for about 20 minutes after falling asleep - usually during this time the child moves from the phase of superficial sleep, which is easily disturbed, into deep sleep. Some mothers place their clothes next to the baby, which have been worn for some time - the child smells the mother’s smell through sleep and believes that the mother is nearby, everything is in order. This is often enough to relieve a little anxiety.
Child over one year old
Not all children older than one year often wake up at night; some babies can feed only once or twice, giving their mothers the opportunity to get proper rest. A conversation with a friend whose baby sleeps more can cause bitterness and frustration in mothers whose children wake up almost every hour or simply hang on their chests in the morning. For some, this even pushes them to think about weaning. However, for those who decide to take such a step, it often becomes a huge disappointment that the baby continues to wake up at the same rhythm!
The thing is that it is not breastfeeding that causes anxiety at night. It's just an easy way to deal with an existing problem. A child over one year old does not wake up to breastfeed - on the contrary, he breastfeeds in order to calm down in the most familiar way and fall asleep again. How often the baby wakes up depends not on the method of feeding, but on the child’s temperament, conditions and characteristics of his development.
And yet, after a year, avoiding night feedings can be easier, because the mother can use methods of influence that are simply incomprehensible to very tiny children. The previous tips can also work, but mom's arsenal of tricks is expanding. Important note: When you use these steps, watch your baby's reactions carefully! How correctly you behave at night is sure to affect your child’s behavior during the day. If after you use a method for several nights, the baby behaves as usual, you can continue in the same spirit. But if your baby becomes fussy, whines, throws tantrums, or seems distant, cutting back on nighttime feedings is not right for your baby. At least right now. So what can help?
- If your baby sleeps with you, make your breasts less accessible. Mothers who are determined to stop night feedings wear bodysuits. The step is not so radical - put on a nursing bra or nursing clothes at night, from where the breasts must be removed. Sometimes, if the baby can't find the nipple quickly, he may just go back to sleep.
- At the age of about one and a half years, most children already understand what exactly their mother wants to tell them at night. Well-known child care couple Martha and William Sears, who have raised nine children themselves, suggest programming your child with certain expectations at night. “Program your baby to expect a feeding when he wakes up—for example, “We'll feed again when the sun comes up.” When you feed before bed (or during the first or second feeding of the night), the last thing your baby should hear is: “Mommy will sleep, daddy will sleep, baby will sleep, and boob will sleep” (this series can include all the favorite things baby). When your baby wakes up at night, the first thing he should hear is a gentle reminder, “Tits will sleep. The baby will sleep too.” This program may take a week or two to repeat, and soon the baby will get used to the idea that the day is for feeding and the night is for sleeping.”
- If mutual understanding is developed in your family, then mom and the breast can be replaced by dad with other methods of calming. Rocking, singing lullabies, wearing a sling, offering water to drink - if your goal is to teach your baby to calm down without a breast, all of this can help. Here's how Martha Sears describes this method: “Bill carried Stephen in a sling, so he got used to falling asleep next to Bill along the way. When he woke up at night, Bill would again provide comfort by rocking Stephen in a nest under his neck while singing a lullaby. At first, the baby may protest against the father’s proposal instead of the mother, but remember, screaming and worrying in the hands of a loving parent is not at all the same as “crying into nowhere.” Dads, understand that you must remain calm and patient as you navigate the challenge of nighttime parenting.”
- Finally, if the baby sleeps with you, to avoid night feedings, you can try to increase the distance between the baby and the mother. The simplest thing is to start putting the baby to bed on the father’s side. When the child wakes up, it is the father who tries to calm him down, and if this does not work, the mother takes on the task. Sometimes a mother can simply go to sleep in another room at night, after the last feeding, leaving the baby with dad. And older children can sometimes, after preparatory work and stories about how great it is, sleep well with a brother or sister.
The calm, friendly confidence of both parents is of great importance. The child should feel that nothing bad is happening. The fluctuations that mom or dad experience are very clearly captured by the baby, and he begins to suspect something is wrong. And when the baby is worried about what is happening, you cannot expect him to sleep peacefully.
And yet, do not rush to end this happy time for the baby. Frequent waking up at night is just an age-related stage that will definitely pass, and your child will still sleep all night without waking up. Increased nighttime worries are a relatively short time, but it is now that memories of love and intimacy are formed that your child will carry with him throughout his life.
Irina Ryukhova
Project coordinator "New Level"
Photographer Tanya Chumak
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