It just so happens that recently many parents come to me for pediatric appointments with the problem of their 2-3 year old baby refusing to nap during the day.
The concern of parents in such cases is quite natural, since sleep for children is not only rest. Both the functioning of the nervous system and immunity depend on the child’s adequate sleep. And that children grow in their sleep is also true. I’ll tell you more about why a child needs to rest during the day below.
So, today we’ll talk about the most pressing topic for modern parents and modern children: a child does not want to sleep during the day at 2-3 years old.
Let's discuss possible reasons for a baby's refusal to go to bed during the day. In what cases is this a physiological feature, and in what cases is it a reason to consult a specialist. We will also talk about what to do in such situations.
Let's get acquainted with the physiological norms of the need for babies of this age to sleep both during the day and at night.
Physiological sleep norms for children 2-3 years old
I can say that modern children, starting from infancy, have a tendency to sleep less than medically accepted norms during the day.
For example, a newborn baby should sleep from feeding to feeding. That is, spend 18-20 hours in sleep. In practice, such cases are rare.
So, modern pediatrics offers the following sleep needs for children two to three years old:
| Child's age | Daytime nap | Night sleep |
| 2 years | 2 hours | 10-11 o'clock |
| 3 years | 1-1.5 hours | 9-10 hours |
Children are individuals. Therefore, no one demands strict adherence to these norms. The difference in sleep duration, plus or minus up to an hour and a half, is acceptable at this age.
As a rule, by the age of 2, babies go to bed once during the day. And they sleep for at least 1.5 hours. That is, after every six hours of wakefulness they need a short rest in the form of sleep.
Often, by the age of 3-4 years, children refuse daytime sleep without any consequences. But most still need proper rest in the form of naps before school age.
If your baby refuses daytime sleep, and during the night he gets “his norm” of sleep (12-13 hours), then this is his right. There is no need to worry when the baby feels great, remains cheerful, active, inquisitive and does not become capricious when left without naps.
Many parents of children who have given up napping during the day note the pattern that in early childhood they themselves broke the habit of sleeping during the day early.
This cannot be called a hereditary predisposition)) But this interesting pattern from practical experience gives food for thought...
What is fatigue
Fatigue is almost always felt by both an adult and a child in the same way.
It can vary in severity and people describe it in different ways. Some call it weakness, others fatigue, others weakness or drowsiness. In any case, there is a feeling of general malaise, which in medicine is called asthenia. When it occurs, parents may notice a deterioration in the child’s mood, a sudden decrease in his physical activity, a desire to lie on the bed more and rest, a reluctance to do homework or engage in other mental work, and absent-mindedness. Often this is accompanied by sleep disturbances, as a result of which the child becomes lethargic, irritable, lags behind in school, and in young children the process of acquiring new skills slows down.
Weakness can affect a child of any age, both infants and teenagers. Moreover, it can be caused either by natural causes, which are not a cause for concern, but sometimes require lifestyle correction, or by pathological ones. The latter need special attention and timely medical intervention, since diseases that cause fatigue and drowsiness tend to progress, worsening the child’s well-being and having a pronounced impact on his development.
Why does a child need a nap during the day?
And without any scientific evidence, mothers know that adequate sleep for the baby has a beneficial effect on his mental state. A well-rested child is cheerful, calm, and shows interest in new things. He is able to independently find something to do, fantasize, and come up with games.
Good sleep is the main prevention of behavioral and neurological disorders in children.
By about two years of age, neuropsychic processes in the human brain become seriously complicated. Therefore, a child who has not slept during the day very often cannot fall asleep in the evening due to overexcitation. All this is the result of overwork of the nervous system.
It is completely wrong to believe that during sleep the nervous system and, in particular, the brain rest. They work. More precisely, they “process” the received information, impressions and emotions of the child. Sleep is a so-called “reboot” for our brain.
Chronic lack of sleep can cause imbalance in many organs and systems of the body. After all, many hormones and biologically active substances are produced during sleep.
Therefore, constant lack of sleep negatively affects the baby’s immune system. Also, these children have a reduced ability to concentrate, learn and remember. The boys' behavior also suffers. They become irritable and moody.
Helpful: What to do if your child grinds his teeth a lot
Reasons why children refuse naps
There can be many reasons for disruption of daytime sleep in children 2-3 years old.
Most often you have to deal with the following:
- The child gets up late (closer to noon) due to a prolonged night's sleep. When a child sleeps until 10-11 o'clock in the afternoon, he simply will not get tired by 14-15 o'clock in the afternoon. As a result, the child does not want to go to bed during the day. Towards the evening, the child may want to sleep, but such a late evening sleep again delays the transition to night sleep. Putting your child to bed late at night also promises a late rise in the morning. The circle is closed.
- No wasted energy. If a child does not run enough, walk enough, or play outdoor games, then he, without feeling tired, cannot and does not want to fall asleep. It is walks in the fresh air that allow the baby to expend a lot of energy. But at the same time, the child’s nervous system is not overexcited, as during active games “within four walls.”
- The baby is excited. Many parents have noticed that when the usual way of life is disrupted by some non-standard event (the arrival of guests, a trip to the store, a trip somewhere, a change in time zones), the excited baby does not want to go to bed during the day. Sometimes all attempts to put the baby to bed come to naught. As a result, both mother and baby are exhausted, but the goal is not achieved. Frequent cases are emotional overstrain and nervous overexcitement associated with excessively active games in the first half of the day.
- External stimuli. Stuffy or cold in the room, uncomfortable clothes for sleeping, too light, extraneous sounds, inappropriate crib arrangement, uncomfortable bedding - this is only an approximate and far from complete list of everything that can prevent a child from falling asleep.
- Non-compliance with the daily and sleep schedule by parents. Many parents will say: “A regime for a child sounds a bit harsh.” I hasten to assure you that the concept of regime does not mean training and requirements for specific actions at a given moment, but the sequence of actions and events during the day. This gives a feeling of stability and comfort. Thanks to this, the child clearly orients himself in time.
For example, it is morning, and in the morning we have breakfast. Then we brush our teeth. Then we take out the toys that have already fallen asleep and play. And very soon we will go on our first walk. And after the walk, everyone needs to rest. Etc.
Children quickly adopt the behavior model of adults in the family. They often perceive all actions or events unfamiliar to them with caution or with obvious rejection. And if the events are predictable and familiar, then he won’t have to explain for a long time that this is necessary and everyone does it.
This is an excellent method to teach a child from childhood to brush his teeth, make his bed, put away toys, and the like without much persuasion.
I know what I’m talking about... I want to share my experience of improving my son’s sleep by switching to “routine.” But more on that below.
When you start to figure out with the baby’s mother how the problem started, very often the same situation becomes clear. Moms say: today they couldn’t put them to bed, there was no time to put them to bed, because...
Today mom didn’t have time for one reason, tomorrow for another... And after a week the baby was already used to not sleeping. The body has adapted, a habit has formed. And to form a reverse habit takes effort and time.
So before you ask the question of why your baby doesn’t sleep during the day to someone else, ask yourself. And answer yourself honestly. Of course, not always, but often this way it is possible to find the cause and solve the problem.
It is also worth highlighting separately the pathological causes of a neurological nature due to which the baby’s sleep is disturbed.
1. Hyperactive baby. Such energizer kids are in constant motion, very active, and act impulsively, without any thought.
They find it difficult to concentrate on the game. They fuss, are sloppy - they break or drop things. There are emotional outbursts and rapid mood changes. As a rule, they sleep little, restlessly and intermittently. These are all features of the functioning of their nervous system.
Helpful: Why does a newborn have trouble sleeping at night?
It is too early and wrong to talk about attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) at the age of two or three years. But it is necessary to grasp the general development trend and behavioral characteristics of a child at this age.
The behavior of parents of such hyperactive children should “extinguish” this hyperactivity or direct it in the right direction. And the wrong position of parents can harm the child and form complexes in the baby.
Thus, parents who are always irritable and/or blaming everyone around for all their “sins” expose their child to chronic stress.
For hyperactive children, a daily routine is simply necessary. Repeated actions every day in a certain order stimulate the production of a “biological clock” in the body. This will make it easier for the children to adjust to a change in activity.
2. Hidden somatic diseases in children over two years of age can cause anxiety and sleep disturbances. Strong emotions or impressions experienced during the day can interrupt their sleep.
Only a specialist will help you understand the true reasons for your baby’s sleep disturbances. And such a visit to the doctor should not be postponed.
Daytime naps and bad habits: how to wean yourself from motion sickness
A child can associate various types of actions with daytime sleep, as well as with nighttime sleep: rocking, stroking the back, sucking a pacifier, drinking from a bottle. Then all these associations can be changed simultaneously. But there are also undesirable associations associated specifically with daytime, for example, the habit of falling asleep in the car. If your child is not yet ready to give up daytime rest, wean him off bad habits - it won’t be difficult.
In this matter, as in everything, the main thing is consistency. For example, to teach your child to fall asleep at home, and not in the car, or in his crib, and not in your arms, do not allow him to fall asleep in familiar conditions. For a quiet hour, put him in a cradle or crib. If he hasn't fallen asleep within half an hour, call the nap or quiet time over and try again the next nap.
Perhaps he won't make it to the next quiet hour and will fall asleep on the floor or on the sofa. But at least he will fall asleep on his own, without receiving reinforcement of a bad habit, so this is already progress. Do not allow bedtime or rise time to vary. It happens that the child does not sleep at all for two or three days, but soon daytime sleep is restored, unless you overestimate his need for sleep.
Sometimes parents notice that the baby falls asleep on his own in the crib without the usual conditions, but wakes up ahead of time and in a bad mood. If you don't approach him, he cries, but sleep does not return. Finding himself in familiar conditions - say, in your arms - he falls asleep, sleeps as much as he should, and gets up happy. This can be survived, but not for too long.
If you have to rock him to sleep for a long time or it is simply inconvenient for you, it is better to take him out of the crib when he wakes up for the first time, but refuse to rock him until he falls asleep. Even if at first he doesn’t get enough sleep and is naughty, he will remember that he can no longer count on motion sickness. If he falls asleep while playing, so much the better, because it happened without your help.
After about a week, the baby will begin to return to sleep in his own crib. Otherwise, his night sleep may lengthen, compensating for the daytime lack of sleep, and he will no longer wake up in a bad mood.
What should the parents of the baby do?
The quality and duration of a baby's sleep directly depends on how the child spends the day. Everything matters - how the baby eats, how and where it walks, where it sleeps, and so on.
Therefore, all recommendations to parents of a healthy baby will concern the organization of the child’s day.
Namely:
1. Do not overfeed your baby before bedtime. At least half an hour should pass after the last meal and bedtime.
2. Eliminate all possible external irritants (noise, bright light, uncleaned toys).
3. Ventilate the room where the baby should sleep. Monitor the humidity and temperature in the room. Too dry air will cause the child's mucous membranes to dry out and become thirsty. The baby will be uncomfortable and will wake up frequently. The optimal room temperature is 19-21˚C.
4. Stick to a routine. Try to put your baby to bed at the same time every day. Bedtime should be preceded by “sleepy” rituals that are repeated day after day.
This could be reading books, drawing or any quiet activity. You can invite your child to put his toys to bed, close the curtains, and change into pajamas. He will be calmer if he knows that everyone will relax with him.
5. Eliminate visual and emotional overload. Don't let your child watch cartoons before bed. All communication with “on-screen friends” should generally be kept to a minimum at this age.
Cartoons playing in the background all day long is a huge evil. The mother needs to be weaned off this first. The general objection is that it’s so convenient: you turn it on and the baby is busy, so mom can do something. But you somehow choose for yourself from two options - it’s convenient for you or a healthy nervous system and normal sleep for the baby.
6. Don't scold your child if he can't sleep. Maintain a calm atmosphere in the family. The mother's irritable tone only further excites the baby's nervous system. Therefore, screaming and threats not only will not help put the child to sleep, but will leave a persistent negative attitude towards sleep and the bed in general.
At this age, children have the so-called “mirroring” syndrome of their mother’s emotions and mood. Children often adopt their mother's communication style and emotions. They imitate their parents in everything. Be a good example for your child.
7. Organize your child’s day so that he gets adequate physical activity in the first half of the day. The child must throw out energy and play well and actively on the street.
Also make sure that such activity smoothly transitions into quiet time before bed. Avoid overly emotional games. This can interfere with your baby's restful sleep.
8. Children of different ages need different times to fall asleep. Children aged two years may need 20-30 minutes to fall asleep. And three-year-old children can spend an hour falling asleep. Show love, calm, patience and fortitude.
How to understand that a child does not sleep well during the day?
Your child does not sleep well during the day if you observe the following symptoms:
- A baby over 4 months of age sleeps during his first naps for no more than 30-40 minutes.
- The child sleeps very lightly and wakes up from every rustle
- Baby wakes up crying
- It is impossible to prolong sleep even in the usual way for a baby
- Shortly after sleep, the baby falls asleep while moving - while walking in a stroller or while driving a car.
- The child stays awake between naps less than is recommended for children his age
- By evening, the baby can barely make it, protests while going to bed for the night
- Wakes up frequently at night
- The baby constantly sleeps during the day in a stroller in motion
Should a child of two or three years old always sleep during the day?
All children are different. You always need to take into account the characteristics of a particular baby, his temperament.
Useful: Correct sleep schedule for a newborn
And yet, it is more than desirable for a two-year-old child to maintain daytime naps. Especially if you are going to send your child to kindergarten later. There, sleep is part of the daily routine. If the child is not used to sleeping, this is additional stress when adapting to kindergarten.
By the age of three, children are more likely to refuse sleep. And they reach such an age - “I don’t want to, I won’t!” In other words, a crisis of three years.
Of course, you can get out of this using their own methods. Say that you won't sleep today. The kid will want to resist this too and, quite likely, will say, “No. Will!"
If the baby categorically refuses to sleep during the day, but at the same time behaves calmly until the evening, then you should not be zealous. Replace sleep with quiet reading, modeling, drawing, putting together puzzles, large beads or pasta into a “necklace” for mom.
It is likely that such babies go to bed early in the evening and get a full night's sleep to compensate for the lack of daytime sleep.
Unfortunately, not all sleep problems can be solved by correcting the child’s daily routine. If your child’s sleep processes and falling asleep are disrupted not only during the day, but also at night, you should contact a pediatrician and neurologist. Especially if such sleep changes are systemic in nature.
A neurologist will conduct an examination and rule out neurological causes of sleep disturbance. He can prescribe a relaxing massage, baths with soothing ingredients, herbal medicine and other useful and effective procedures.
What to do if your child does not want to sleep during the day
Daily routine, nutrition, clothing, walks greatly affect the quality of a baby's sleep. In order for the baby to go to bed with pleasure, you need to establish the correct sleep schedule at 2 years old, and parents also need to provide:
- Proper and balanced nutrition.
- Constant walks and games in the fresh air.
- Regular wet cleaning in the children's room.
- Comfortable, clean and soft bed.
Typically, children who have their own schedule do not have whims about daytime sleep. They are used to going to eat, play, and sleep at certain times. Of course, you don’t need to follow your daily routine too carefully. If the child looks tired before the due date, then it is better to put him to bed and not wait for the right time. However, if he is still playing or watching the last cartoon before bed, then you should not interrupt the process and forcefully drag him to bed. It’s better to let him finish what he started and calmly go to rest.
Parents should not put their baby back to sleep if he wakes up early. Also, do not wake him up if the time allotted for naps has already ended.
