How to teach your baby to fall asleep without breastfeeding

Over time, every mother faces a serious question: how to put her baby to sleep without breastfeeding? Some women are in no hurry to make a decision, as a result of which the problem only gets worse. The older the baby gets, the more difficult it will be for him to get used to new conditions. In other cases, mothers, on the contrary, immediately stop breastfeeding and replace it with artificial feeding. However, the best option is the golden mean, which consists in not indulging the whims of a newborn and at the same time not depriving him of breast milk until he reaches 1.5 years.

Putting the baby to bed

To successfully complete the event, the most important thing is to create the right psychological mood. The approach to solving the problem must be thorough. After all, the process of weaning, although partial, is stressful not only for the baby, but also for his mother, especially if the little one is not yet a year old.

Reasons for falling asleep with breastfeeding

How to teach your baby to sleep at night without feeding

Isolated cases of falling asleep during breastfeeding can become a habit, and the baby will no longer be able to go to sleep on his own. Since close contact with the mother is one of the ways for a newborn to eliminate stress, the following factors can influence the formation of an unwanted reflex:

1. Disturbance in sleep and feeding schedules. In the first months of life, strict adherence to the day and night routine is essential. If the baby falls asleep at a different time each time, his body will experience a disruption in biorhythms.
2. The appearance of new people in the house (friends, relatives, other guests). Such situations are stressful for a child. To calm down, the baby resorts to breastfeeding.
3. Severe fatigue. You can understand that the baby is tired by his behavior: the child is excited, capricious, crying, looking for his mother’s breast.
4. Painful processes characteristic of the first months of a baby’s life. These include frequent intestinal colic and teething.
5. Exposure to external stimuli. This could be too bright light, loud sounds, or the noise of operating devices.
6. Lack of parental attention and maternal affection.

The need to breastfeed before bed is explained by the need to relieve stress

Why do you need to wean?

Let's be honest: we want to wean a child from falling asleep during feeding not for him, but for ourselves. Is not it? What pushes us to take this step:

1. Girlfriends or neighbors teach that it is high time to wean the baby from falling asleep while sucking, that the baby is so dependent;
2. We don’t have time to do household chores because the baby doesn’t sleep without the breast;
3. We have to sit for a long time in an uncomfortable position, which causes our back to become stiff and painful;
4. Having seen enough of other people’s “independent” children, we begin to think that falling asleep with the breast in the mouth at his age is pathologically abnormal, that this may be some kind of mental disorder, and the child urgently needs to be weaned from this;
5. We want to carve out time for ourselves - to relax, “get ready”, and get a good night’s sleep.

There is no need to reproach yourself for this: getting your hair done or relaxing are absolutely not reprehensible desires of any normal woman. And a nursing mother is no exception.

But let's not forget that it is extremely undesirable for a child to fall asleep alone in the first months of life: contact with his mother, her smell, and sucking at the breast are of paramount calming importance for him.

Yes, even if you look at the natural pattern of child development, then when a child sleeps only with the breast in his mouth next to his mother, this is natural.

At the same time, from the age of 9 months, a child may well fall asleep in his mother’s absence without a breast, with a person he knows well and is close to him.

If this state of affairs causes you unbearable discomfort, you will have to look for a compromise.

Either organize nighttime sleep in this way so that you can quickly, half-asleep, breastfeed and continue to sleep, or start working on separating breastfeeding and sleep so that the baby develops the skill of falling asleep without you.

A child sleeps only with the breast in his mouth - how does this affect sleep?

At first, all mothers are touched when the newborn sucks sweetly, falling asleep at the same time. The baby is so calm and happy lying at his mother’s breast! Six months fly by quickly enough, the sweetness of tenderness also dissolves. The mother begins to understand that the child now sleeps only with the breast in his mouth, and the chances of putting him to sleep without feeding are almost zero. My own fatigue has accumulated over six months of sleepless nights and is ready to develop into nervous trembling at the thought that another night marathon of constant feedings lies ahead. The mother feeds, overcoming fatigue, sacrificing her interests for the sake of the child. Are the interests of the child really taken into account in such a situation?

Feeding followed by sleep is absolutely justified if the baby is not yet one and a half months old. But from three months on, the sleep structure changes and melatonin . From this point on, the baby's brain cannot reach the deep sleep phase if it is involved in the sucking process. From six months, the sucking reflex is reorganized into the habit of sucking. Habits can be useful and harmful. Some can make life more pleasant and harmonious, while others can limit freedom and harm health. A person, as a rule, wants to get rid of the latter. We must act in the same direction when talking about the child’s habits. If the child wakes up between sleep cycles, and he does not yet know how to fall asleep on his own without your help (for example, rocking or breastfeeding), then your task is to teach the baby to fall asleep without your active participation. Try not to do for your child what he can already handle on his own.

Benefits of your baby falling asleep on his own

The baby arches his back and throws his head back

The baby's ability to fall asleep without the breast will serve as the first step in the process of gradually weaning the baby off breastfeeding. Thanks to this, the newborn will be more relaxed about completely stopping breastfeeding. In addition, this opportunity is relevant for those cases when the mother decided to delegate the care of the baby to her husband or other family members. This is an excellent way out for women who are too tired from breastfeeding or are forced to leave home often.

On a note. Getting your child to fall asleep independently is the key to healthy sleep for all family members.

What can't you do?

Prohibited actions:

• start weaning when the child feels unwell or is teething;
• during feeding, forcefully take the breast;
• wean if the baby is hungry;
• smear the nipples with bitter, salty or paint them with brilliant green;
• say that the boob is sick because the baby sucked on it;
• ignore the baby’s needs, leave him alone in the room;
• show your indifference towards the child.

If during the weaning process your baby gets sick or shows signs of severe stress, you need to stop and take a step back. You can return to the path to your goal only when the baby’s condition stabilizes.

Alternative methods of calming down

There are several effective ways to wean a small child from falling asleep without breastfeeding. Each of them represents a specific activity that is included in the daily ritual of going to bed:

1. Listening to music. Many children love to sleep to music. A common option for “sound therapy” is listening to white noise. This could be the sound of a flying airplane, dripping water, a running vacuum cleaner, etc. Also among the recommended “music” are the sounds of nature (birds singing, the rustling of trees, the sound of the sea). You can choose a special melody to relax before bed. In rare cases, a child falls asleep well to cheerful and rhythmic music. If the mother decides to choose a melody, then it is advisable that there are no words in it (otherwise they will prevent the baby from sleeping peacefully). While listening, you can resort to rocking, stroking the baby on the back, arms, legs, thus setting him up for sleep.

Recommendation. It is desirable that the melody be the same every time. Then the child will form a clear association that it is this music that precedes a quick fall asleep.

1. Reading books. It is necessary to ensure that the baby does not fall asleep during feeding. As soon as signs of drowsiness appear, the baby should be placed in the crib. If the baby is capricious, you can leave him next to you, but block access to the breast. Next, the mother begins to read the book in a calm, soothing voice. It is recommended to accompany the process with gentle stroking of the child’s head, back, and arms. Under no circumstances should you combine reading and lactation. Over time, the baby will develop the habit of falling asleep while reading without breastfeeding.
2. Putting the baby to bed by another family member. If the baby has a strong connection with a close relative, then it is recommended to entrust this person with the bedtime procedure. Father, grandmother, and grandfather can teach a child to a new ritual of falling asleep. Since these people are physically unable to carry out breastfeeding, the baby will not have any temptation.

On a note. If the mother is not ready to refuse breastfeeding to her child, you can use the “Timer” technique. This method involves gradually reducing the lactation time before bedtime. Using a timer, the baby is taught to eat within a certain time, and then put to bed.

Reading is one of the best alternatives to breastfeeding for falling asleep

Is this normal?

The mother may be concerned that the baby will choke on milk. But if the correct position is chosen for feeding, the baby eats leisurely, there is nothing to worry about. What to do if a baby falls asleep while feeding depends on his condition.

When the child is healthy

If your baby falls asleep after a few minutes while breastfeeding, there is no need to disturb him. When the baby's health is normal and weight gain is good, falling asleep at the breast is normal. This happens because he concentrates, calms down, and the substances that make up the milk also act. Remember three basic rules:

• carefully remove the breast from the baby’s mouth if he falls asleep;
• do not deny him food if he wakes up and reaches for the breast again;
• Don’t wake him up, but rather put him next to you.

The first milk a newborn receives is less fatty. The baby absorbs it immediately as soon as he starts eating. Then a fattier one comes in and it has a calming effect. If your baby falls asleep during feeding and is fast asleep, do not wake him up, rock him in your arms or put him in bed next to you.

When you put him in bed, he may wake up. To avoid this, wait until your sleep is deep. It is easy to identify - in the REM sleep phase, the child's eyelids tremble, he can move his arms or legs. In deep sleep, the eyelids do not tremble, breathing is slow and deep. In this state, you can safely transfer the baby to the crib.

Consultants identify several reasons why a baby may fall asleep while breastfeeding:

• Reduced activity of the mammary glands - perhaps the baby has to get food with great effort by his standards, since the flow of milk is difficult. So he quickly gets tired and falls asleep.
• Difficult childbirth, taking medications after childbirth - these reasons can cause slow reactions and lack of interest in the mother's breast.
• Incorrect latching of the nipple, which reduces interest in sucking.
• Excess milk - a breast that is too tight is uncomfortable for the baby to latch onto, he gets tired from trying hard and quickly falls asleep.
• Weak sucking reflex. This problem can arise as a result of a difficult birth or, on the contrary, a rapid and easy one.

If none of the reasons describe the situation, simply leave your baby to rest. When he gets hungry, his sleep will become shallow, and then he will wake up completely and demand milk if he is still hungry.

Don't worry that your baby will get used to falling asleep only with the breast. There are many ways to wean him from this ritual and instill other healthy habits that promote sound and healthy sleep.

When the baby is weak

You should be more careful with weakened children. They may fall asleep because they do not have the strength to fully absorb milk, and feeding is difficult. In addition, a weakened body has an increased need for restorative sleep.

Basic rules when feeding weakened children:

• feed on demand or more often (offer the breast yourself);
• watch your baby’s reflexes while eating and falling asleep;
• When the sucking reflex weakens, be careful when stroking, do not frighten the child with sudden movements.

If a weak newborn falls asleep immediately at the beginning of feeding, he should be woken gently before he is sound asleep. Such a child especially needs good nutrition, and during sleep his sucking reflex may persist.

Don't worry if you think your baby isn't getting enough nutrients. This can only be determined by weight gain. If it is below normal for his age, you need to optimize the feeding position. If sufficient, wean the weakened newborn only when he feels unwell and the reflex is dulled.

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Use a few tips if your child falls asleep:

• squeeze a couple of drops of milk onto your lips - this may make you want to continue eating;
• move the nipple over your lips, squeezing out milk - this also stimulates the sucking reflex;
• Rock him lightly if he is not yet fast asleep.

When the newborn comes to his senses and reaches for the breast again, you should not deny him this. Previously, doctors recommended feeding your baby on a schedule to provoke hunger at the same time every day.

Today, consultants recommend feeding the baby on demand - this approach is healthier for the baby’s body. If he does not ask for food for a long time, you need to contact a neonatologist or pediatrician to examine the baby again.

If a weakened child has a lack of weight gain, it is recommended to put him to the breast every hour. Even if he doesn't require food, the tips above will help awaken the sucking reflex.

Little tricks

To successfully wean your baby off breastfeeding during sleep, you can use the following recommendations:

• Create a calm environment in the room;
• Feed the baby, sing him a lullaby;
• If the baby falls asleep before eating, then you should not wake him up for feeding.
• In order for evening bedtime without breastfeeding to take place with less stress, during the daytime you should pay as much attention to the baby as possible;
• You should only feed your baby if he is really hungry. Lactation should not be used as a way to calm yourself before bed;
• Sometimes it is necessary to refuse feeding before bedtime.

If the above methods for putting a newborn baby to sleep without breastfeeding did not have the desired effect, then you can use more radical methods:

1. Paint your breasts with scary pictures just before feeding to make your baby afraid of the breast. This option is more suitable for complete weaning from breastfeeding.
2. Treat nipples with mustard, salt or pepper.
3. The mother must leave the house for several days, leaving the child in the care of other family members.

Important! Pediatricians do not recommend resorting to harsh measures, as they can negatively affect the child’s behavior, worsen his sleep, frighten him, and spoil his mood.

How to wean it off?

To wean a child from sleeping with the breast in his mouth, you need to choose the right time and conditions:

• The baby is 9–12 months old.
• The baby eats complementary foods well (porridge, purees, fermented milk products).
• The baby is healthy and gaining weight normally.
• The child has his own crib; he is not used to sleeping with mom and dad in the same bed.

If the necessary conditions are met, you can begin to form a new habit step by step. There are several ways to solve the problem. Let's talk about the most effective of them.

Feeding 30 minutes before bedtime

Parents' experience shows that early dinner and refusal to suck titi before bedtime are more difficult for children under one year of age to tolerate. Use this method for babies from 12 months.

1. Prepare your child for bed in advance: bathe, change clothes.
2. Let the breast nurse for 10-15 minutes. The child should eat completely.
3. Free your baby's mouth from the nipple before he falls asleep.
4. Talk a little with the baby, play calm games, read a book. You should not entertain your child for a long time so that he can sleep peacefully.
5. After 20–30 minutes, place the baby in the crib and stay close until he falls asleep. Give her a pacifier to calm her down.

Dad's help

Teaching a baby to sleep without a breast is easier if the parent has nothing to take out from under his shirt. Dads don't have to restrain themselves; turn to them for help. Fathers need to take over mom's duties for a few days. Going to bed will look like this:

1. Mom feeds the baby 30 minutes before bedtime and leaves the room, or better yet, the apartment. Now dad remains the main nanny.
2. He prepares the baby for bed: bathes, dresses.
3. He carries the little one to the nursery and puts him in the crib.
4. He sits next to him, reads books, sings lullabies or rocks his daughter and son in his arms.
5. You need to react calmly to screams and hysterics. You can let your baby drink from a bottle or offer a pacifier.

New rituals

To teach a child to sleep without a breast, you will have to introduce new rituals. For a baby, breastfeeding before bed is a familiar ritual. It's been this way since birth. The child learned to calm down on the chest and suck milk while sleeping. Now he will have to get used to it. Previously, it was clear to the baby that the mother was breastfeeding, which meant that he could eat and sleep. Now, in order to understand that he needs to sleep, he needs a new ritual.

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A new ritual is a sequence of any actions that are not related to feeding in bed. Taking a bath, a light massage, changing into your favorite pajamas, reading a book and listening to a lullaby. Mom can supplement or change the order of actions to make the ritual convenient.

Over time, the baby will get used to the fact that after bathing and reading a book, he needs to close his eyes and fall asleep. At the same time, it is not at all necessary to curtail lactation completely. A mother can feed her baby before bed, but not in bed when she falls asleep.

Cardinal method

Suitable for children aged one and a half years. At this age, there is really no need to sleep holding your chest:

• Breast milk does not play a big role in the baby's development, growth and weight gain.
• Evening and night sucking is necessary as a bad habit, a ritual.

The child urgently needs to be taught to be alone in the crib, without his mother’s tit. To do this quickly, you can use the following measures:

1. Give the child an overnight stay to grandparents. The baby will have to stay with them for several days. Relatives need to be patient - the child will cry and wait for the mother to go to bed.
2. There is also a ritual of going to sleep during the day. Grandmothers should read, rock the whimsy in their arms, sing lullabies, and distract with toys.
3. When mom returns from the “trip” and takes the baby home, you need to remain tough and follow the new rules. Under no circumstances agree to have your breasts pulled out. On the first day, the baby, of course, is naughty, but then he will understand that a new “adult stage” of life has arrived and he needs to be independent.

Stages of weaning day by day

The first step towards sleep weaning is setting a goal. It involves teaching the baby to fall asleep without the breast, regardless of the time of day. Next, you need to choose alternative ways of going to bed, which will consist of the ritual of going to bed in the future. It is important to prepare your baby for change. This means that the mother, while denying the baby the breast to fall asleep, does not stop breastfeeding before bedtime. After feeding, the baby can remain in his arms for some time, then he is taken to the crib and calmed down with a gentle voice, music, given a pacifier, some prefer to put toys in the crib.

A calm melody will help your child fall asleep faster

You should adhere to the established ritual every day. Gradually, the child will get used to the new rules of falling asleep. During the first 2-3 weeks, the baby may sometimes remember the mother's breast and demand feeding. At such moments, a woman needs to be persistent and continue to distract the child with alternative ways of putting her to sleep.

How to do it?

How to wean a child from falling asleep with the breast? There are different methods on how to do this.

One of the very effective ways is to separate nutrition and sleep in the child’s understanding. That is, shift the burden of bedtime to dad: he doesn’t smell like mom or milk.

But at the same time, dad is the same dear person, whom the child trusts no less. Dad can be just as affectionate and caring:

1. Give a feeling of physical contact;
2. Calm down with rocking, lullaby, stroking;
3. Or in some other pleasant little way that will not remind you of sucking.

On a note! If the mother, after feeding the baby, hands him over to the father to put him to bed, then after a few days, and perhaps weeks (these periods vary from person to person), the baby will be weaned from the ritual of falling asleep while sucking. And he will learn to find peace in other activities.

This technique is especially effective if the family has rituals for sleep. That is, every evening the same actions are performed with the baby and in the same order.

For example:

• bathed;
• changed clothes;
• fed;
• revered;
• sent all the toys to bed;
• got a massage;
• sang a lullaby;
• and laid him down.

The set and sequence of such actions are individual. The main thing is that they are performed daily in the same order.

There is another way to wean your baby from falling asleep with the breast.

It consists in the baby gradually getting used to the fact that he is given the breast to suck not so that he falls asleep under it.

Mom feeds him about half an hour before bedtime, and spends the rest of the time with him, soothing him in other ways:

1. You can read it;
2. Sing lullabies;
3. Get a nice massage;
4. Pat on the back;
5. Wiggle.

That is, the baby must learn that he calms down when his mother is next to him, and not because he is suckling her breast. At the same time, if at some point the baby persistently demands feeding, do not refuse him, but also do not let him fall asleep on the chest.

The main thing here is gradualism.

Over time, “rollbacks” back to falling asleep while feeding will occur less and less often.

Important! This method can take up to several months, but teaching a child to fall asleep without breastfeeding can be the least traumatic for the young nervous system.

What techniques can you use to separate eating and sleeping?

1. Trust a close relative to put your baby to bed, starting at four months. A child needs the experience of falling asleep not only with his mother. At this moment, you should not deceive the child and try to hide from his sight without warning. Let a loved one come in advance, play with the child, then the mother gives complementary foods, offers the breast, and only after that allows the father or grandmother to complete the process. Mom should not have doubts at this moment, because... the baby is already tired, wants to sleep, a reliable person is next to him, he will help him fall asleep and feel safe.
2. Believe me, the main comfort and stability that a child needs is provided by you, your peace of mind and care, and not your breast or bottle of milk.
3. During the day, feed your baby in a calm, familiar environment. Minimize distractions - TV , telephone, communication with other people. This is the time of your close communication with your baby.
4. To break the connection between food and sleep, introduce another element of the ritual between them. For example, when you feed, put a soft toy in your baby's hand and tell a story about it using simple sentences and onomatopoeic words. You can repeat the fairy tale twice. After a certain time, tell him that it’s time for “this bear” to go to sleep, and let the baby show you how to fall asleep. Turn off the night light. Explain that mom is nearby, shush her. If the child bursts into tears, then pick him up, calm him down, but then put the baby back in the crib.

IDEAS:

You can use reading a fairy tale. While you are feeding in the chair, read a book at the same time, trying to interest the baby, then take the breast or bottle, finish reading, put the baby in bed, turn off the light.

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You can feed immediately after the bath, while the baby is still in the towel, then put on pajamas and put him to bed.

1. Between eating and sleeping, another relative may join in. After feeding, dad can read a fairy tale or hold him in his arms until he calms down; he certainly won’t be tempted to feed the baby, because Mom comes out of the bedroom with the breast and bottle. The most important thing is to survive the first 3–4 days of training so that the child has the experience of falling asleep without feeding. At this moment, do not leave the child alone in the room, calm him down in every possible way with your voice and short strokes. After a week, the baby will forget the previous method of falling asleep using the breast.
2. Do not turn off the light during feeding, so it is less likely that in the baby's mind feeding will be associated with sleep.
3. At night, take a break in feeding from 12 o'clock to 4 - 5 o'clock in the morning. Avoid frequent night feedings; do not feed more often at night than during the day. If the baby wakes up an hour after the previous feeding, let him drink some water from the sippy cup (this reduces the sucking habit). Don't let your baby sleep with the breast in his mouth.
4. Start morning feeding after 6:00.
5. During the day, spend more time communicating with your child. And he will not have an irresistible desire to be with you at night.
6. Move on to learning how to fall asleep on your own. Remember that a crib is not needed to store toys, it’s time for the child to sleep in it. This is safer for the baby, who is actively learning new motor skills. First put the child for daytime and then for nighttime sleeps. The child should go to bed sleepy, but not asleep.

What to do about night feedings

If the baby has learned to fall asleep on his own, this means that night awakenings demanding the breast will also stop. The child will be psychologically ready to do without night lactation or, in extreme cases, will accept a decrease in its duration and volume. Gradually, it will be possible to completely break the association “night awakenings - breastfeeding” by replacing feeding with massage, lullaby and other methods of sleeping.

To put her to sleep without breastfeeding, the mother can use the placement methods listed above. At the same time, it is very important to avoid common mistakes that inexperienced parents often make. It is also worth paying special attention to the correct choice of alternative, otherwise one bad habit (falling asleep with the breast) will simply be replaced by another.

There comes a time in every mother’s life when it’s time to wean the baby off breastfeeding, including feedings before bedtime. Knowing how to teach a child to fall asleep without breastfeeding, a woman can solve this problem without much difficulty.