“I don’t want to go to kindergarten! I won’t go-oo-oo!” You now hear these heartbreaking screams every morning. Sometimes the screams are supplemented by plaintive moans about the fact that the precious child has a stomach ache, a headache, and is generally sick of the garden. Literally and figuratively. And in more severe cases, the child’s temperature actually rises, abdominal pain appears and chronic diseases worsen.
What to do in such a situation? First, figure out why your baby won’t agree to join the children’s group at any price. And there may be several reasons for this.
Lifestyle change
Children are the greatest conservatives in the world. It is only at first glance that it seems that they are constantly striving for new adventures and impressions. In fact, the usual rhythm, when they know exactly how one event replaces another, is order and calm in their lives. And here - in the morning, your mother takes you to an unfamiliar aunt, where, besides you, your beloved, there are a lot of other children, she leaves you there to fend for themselves and it is unknown whether you will ever see her again. In the garden, everything is alien – and, probably, that’s why it’s hostile.
Exit
Gradually accustom your baby to a change in routine. If he is used to going to bed late and getting up late, you will have to carefully transfer the baby to an earlier rise. This is not scary at all; the regime change occurs within 3-4 days. When your lifestyle changes dramatically, it is important to preserve a “piece of home” for your child. The best option is if you can agree with the head and teacher that you can be present in the group with your child during the first week.
By the way, in many kindergartens such agreements are practiced on a completely official basis, and in Waldorf kindergartens the teachers themselves persistently ask the mother to be in the group with the child for at least ten days.
If for some reason this is not possible, think about some pleasant little thing that will remind your baby of home. This could be a soft toy (it’s so nice to fall asleep with it!), familiar food in a small container (preferably not very dirty - a carrot or an apple will do). Or you might want to make a good luck charm for your baby - for example, a small flat toy that you can always carry in a pocket or on a lanyard. When her little owner is sad, let him remember the “magic talisman”, and it will certainly help to cope with gloomy thoughts.
Common mistakes parents make that aggravate the adaptation process
Unfortunately, parents themselves are often to blame for children’s difficult adaptation, who not only do not prepare them for a new place, mode and format of communication, but also let this process take its course, arguing that sooner or later the child will definitely get used to a hostile environment.
In fact, such an attitude to such an important issue a priori cannot end in anything good, and even if the baby gets used to the remote control system, acquired childhood complexes and fears will certainly remind themselves in a later period. It may take up to six months for your baby to get used to kindergarten.
It may take up to six months for your baby to get used to kindergarten.
Her strict control, which will be based on a warm, trusting relationship with the baby, will help prevent such a development of the situation.
It is very important to see off and welcome the baby from the garden every day, take an interest in his successes and failures, and also not put problems on the back burner, solving them according to the “here and now” principle. If many children complain about the poor environment in the garden, you may want to think about changing it to a new one.
If, on the contrary, the child is happy in kindergarten, then when moving to a new place, it is worth continuing to take him there, unless, of course, we are talking about insurmountable distances
If many children complain about the poor environment in the garden, you may want to think about changing it to a new one. If, on the contrary, the child is happy in kindergarten, then when moving to a new place, it is worth continuing to take him there, unless, of course, we are talking about insurmountable distances.
Unusual food
Remember your childhood - probably in your kindergarten there was some special “masterpiece” of local chefs that gave you not the most pleasant feelings. The notorious milk foam, jelly, milk porridge or onion soup - everyone has their own memories. Sometimes educators try too zealously to feed their charges, demanding that they eat every last crumb, at a fast pace - this is also not something everyone can do.
Exit
If your baby flatly refuses to eat in kindergarten, agree with the teachers so that they do not insist on this process. After all, no child has ever voluntarily died of starvation. At home, in front of the garden, it is quite possible to do without breakfast - there is a greater chance that by the time breakfast in the kindergarten the baby will have time to get hungry and want to try something from the common table.
If, according to gardening rules, a child is allowed to take some food from home, then let it be beautifully cut fruits (apples, pears), vegetables (cucumber or carrots), and a banana will do. Try not to give your child sweets like candy or cookies; these delicacies, of course, can comfort you at first, but will cause an unhealthy stir in the group and completely ruin your appetite.
Conflicts
Fights and other conflicts in the garden are common and a natural process. Children interact, learn to communicate. Few people are born with ideal behavior - this needs to be learned, and in the learning process, children fight and bite. Good manners will be learned gradually. But you will help the baby a lot, start right now teaching him to get to know other children, politely ask for the toy he likes and wait for his turn. These simple lessons can be taught to your child while walking on the playground. But useful skills will not be learned immediately.
If a child fights in kindergarten, parents need to be especially careful. You should not think that everything will go away on its own, or that educators will deal with this problem. But the child is raised by parents, not a kindergarten. That is why the teacher only talks about a conflict or fight, and also tries to prevent it within the walls of the institution, but at the same time strongly recommends that parents talk with the child. The problem is that talking about fighting with a three-year-old is useless. He does not accept notations - neither from parents nor from teachers. The only way out is to stop aggression on the spot. This is exactly what teachers do in the garden. But the rest of the time this is the task of the parents. Only the joint work of teachers in kindergarten and parents at home or on the playground can bring success.
Unloved teacher
This is a serious problem, and ideally it would be good to solve it before the child enters kindergarten. It’s not for nothing that psychologists recommend that before placing a child in a particular institution, be sure to get acquainted not only with the head and the set of toys in the group, but also (which is much more important!) with the future teacher. She will be the one who will spend most of the time with your child. Sometimes it happens that children literally fly at full speed to one teacher, but don’t even want to approach another, they huddle close to their mother.
Exit
First, find out why your baby doesn’t like the teacher. This is not so easy to do, because not always a small child can talk about his impressions and experiences. But special games will come to your aid. In the evening, in a calm environment, play with your child in kindergarten with a set of plush animals or plastic men. You will learn a lot of interesting details for yourself! Let the child choose a role for himself - whether he will play for himself, for his “classmate” or for that same teacher.
When you understand the meaning of the conflict, try discussing it with your teacher. If after this no positive changes occur (the teacher mistreats the child, does not hear him, allows other children to tease and offend your child), then the situation, alas, is a dead end. You will have to think about changing kindergarten or group. Moreover, in this case it is preferable to change the kindergarten than the group, since in any team there is a certain corporate ethics - including in the kindergarten.
The child does not want to go to kindergarten: 5 main reasons
You should not overly expect that your “at home” baby will happily and enthusiastically accept his new status - a preschooler. Of course, there are children for whom the kindergarten group is a second home from the first days of visiting. However, there are very few of them. Most children have some difficulty adapting to kindergarten. What are your reasons for this behavior?
- A huge stressor for a child is a change of environment and being with previously unfamiliar children and adults. This is especially difficult for three-year-olds who previously communicated only with their parents and other close relatives.
- Rejection of the kindergarten may arise due to sleeplessness, if the mother has not previously put the baby to bed after lunch. In addition, by the age of three, children have already formed taste preferences, and in kindergarten there is often one menu for all pupils.
- Another reason is resentment towards peers and inability to behave in a conflict situation. Every child is a bright individual, and besides, not all children get enough experience interacting with their peers on the playground.
- One should not exclude the child’s antipathy towards a particular teacher. Surely mothers noted that preschool children run to one teacher with pleasure, but they cannot be dragged to another even by force. Sometimes little darlings, accustomed to general attention, simply refuse to obey “someone else’s aunt.”
- An obvious factor is psychological unpreparedness for preschool. The baby must be able to hold a spoon, wash his hands, and go to the potty. The lack of these skills often leads to ridicule from peers and displeasure from teachers. It is not surprising that a sensitive child refuses to attend kindergarten.
As we see, there are many reasons for children’s reluctance to attend preschool. To find out which one prevails in your case, have a heart-to-heart talk with your child or talk to a teacher. Perhaps an experienced teacher will suggest the most effective way to solve the problem.
A stranger among his own
Sometimes it happens that a child, for some reason, does not fit into the children's group, continuing to keep to himself. This may be an individual characteristic - each child simply has different needs for communication, some need to communicate more, others need to get by with a minimum of “business connections”. But if your child has not found his niche in the children’s group for a year, and has spent all this time as if “behind a glass wall,” only observing the child’s life, you should contact a psychologist.
Exit
If it is difficult for a child to make friends with peers, you will have to, as always, take matters into your own hands. Try to gradually expand your social circle (both yours and your children’s). Observe which of your child's classmates is the most attractive to you, and try to make friends with his parents. Invite them to visit more often. Perhaps, at first, you will have to actively participate in their games so that your “savage” can gradually join them himself.
Another important moment of the transition period is to accustom the baby to the idea that it is not always only with his mother that he can be comfortable and interesting. Ask your dad or grandma to come up with an exciting game with your child in your absence. A good option is an early development studio, where children gradually join the children's team without losing touch with their mother. Other children and their games should be, from your point of view, a very attractive and enjoyable activity. Draw your child’s attention to how fun and interesting the children are together, how well they play. Sing, dance with your child, and get charged with positive emotions!
My child refused to go to kindergarten: personal experience and several conclusions
I admit that I have been nurturing this column for a very long time - the topic turned out to be more sensitive than I could have imagined. Therefore, I want to start it right away with a rather lengthy introduction.
I have long noticed that all topics related to kindergartens traditionally cause a lot of excitement, controversy and indignation. When we publish the results of various studies, there are always those who are dissatisfied with them: they write that we demonize kindergartens, that we deliberately write bad things and try to make parents of kindergarten children feel guilty.
In fact, it seems to me that the problem here is not in the research results (which, by the way, we do not invent, but take from trusted sources and simply retell), but in the fact that the topic of kindergarten is generally complex. Unlike school, kindergarten is supposedly optional (no one will send you to prison if your child doesn’t go there), but at the same time it’s supposedly mandatory.
Hello, social pressure and surprised questions from grandmothers and other people’s mothers on the playground: “What is it like not going to kindergarten?”
Perhaps many parents would be happy not to send their two- and three-year-olds to kindergarten (I’m just talking about Russian specifics now), but the reality is that in most cases it requires mom and dad to be constantly present at work from nine to six, and then there is simply no place for the child. This is where the feeling of parental guilt arises (it seems to appear in any case, but more on that a little later), dissatisfaction with one’s decisions and irritation.
That is why I thought about this column for so long and painfully - I was terribly afraid of stumbling upon condemnation, dissatisfaction and irritation (and I am still afraid), which, in fact, are not about me, but will still fall on my head. That is why I am writing this huge preface - to explain, to be a little safe, to throw at least a few ideas behind the bulletproof wall of someone else’s reality and, maybe, to help someone.
Now here’s the most important thing: everything written in the text is my personal experience, which does not have to coincide with yours at all.
I am well aware that in some situations my life experience will be inapplicable and irrelevant - and this is also completely normal, I do not claim the status of the ultimate truth. I am writing this text in order to share my experience and, perhaps, help someone look at their life situation differently, and - these are my wildest fantasies - change it for the better. I am writing this text to validate your experiences and to make you feel less alone if you are faced with the same situation as me (and I certainly felt very alone in it). And before you attack me with indignant comments, please read this text to the end, and then re-read this paragraph again. Go.
Last September, my almost four-year-old son refused to go to kindergarten.
Before that, he successfully went to a nursery for a whole year - there was some adaptation, but it was quite painless and lasted literally a week with minor setbacks. In the new year, he went to a new group - with new children, teachers, in a new room, and he went there for only three days.
It all started suddenly - after three days of whining and slight attempts to “let’s not go,” the child flatly refused to walk. Flatly - this means a violent hysteria with squeals and vomiting for an hour, while his patient dad tried by all means available to him to persuade the child to unhook from his dad’s leg and enter the group. An hour later, dad gave up, loaded the child, wet from tears and silent, into the car and brought him back home. Several further attempts (one the next day, the other after a two-week break) were also unsuccessful - the hysteria began immediately in the morning, with the first sound of the alarm clock, and we could not even dress the child.
While I’m writing this, I can already hear a harmonious chorus of voices: that this is an adaptation, all children do this, there was no need to “follow his lead”, I had to show persistence and firmness, otherwise he will feel freedom and will take advantage of it . I want to answer all invisible interlocutors: I know.
I know how adaptation should normally take place (I even wrote a whole material about this in order to thoroughly understand it). Moreover, I know how my child’s adaptation is going (because I observed it a year ago). And what happened in the garden locker room last September was not her. More precisely, maybe a little she, but otherwise it was something else (later I found out what it was).
And even if it was an adaptation, and if in order for my son to go to kindergarten, I would have to tear him daily - sobbing, screaming, hiccupping, trembling, blue from tears - from my leg and shove him into the group, then I will go for it was not ready. I know there are those among you who had to do this and who went through this hell, know that I do not condemn you in any way. You did what you needed to do. You went through something terrible, and you are great, I sympathize with you and hug you. Personally, I had the opportunity to give up - and I took it. I am well aware that not everyone has this opportunity.
Realizing that the child did not intend to go to kindergarten, my husband and I ground our teeth and decided to leave him at home. It is important to mention here that I have been working from home for a long time, and my husband found himself there thanks to the pandemic. Considering that we have been living in this format (with work and a child sitting at home) since April, we decided that, in general, we could continue to live the same way - until we decide what to do with the garden.
And we tried to decide.
We read books about the garden to our child every day. We described the delights of kindergarten and the horrors of sitting boringly at home while mom and dad click away on the keyboard. We resorted to blackmail, bribery, we argued and persuaded. The son listened carefully, sometimes even agreed, but as soon as the threat of the kindergarten became real, he began to cry. Sincerely, violently and loudly - I know what a fake cry looks like from my child (who was not given a second ice cream), and it was not him. It was something sad and powerful.
I talked to psychologists, went to talk with the teacher. To my question about whether something could have happened in the group that caused such a reaction in her son, she answered negatively, and then said that the child was manipulating us, that we needed to show persistence and firmness, otherwise he would be like this all his life. twist us. I left the meeting with nothing (and with horror for modern teacher education).
I had to temporarily come to terms with the fact that my son does not go to kindergarten yet - it just happened.
I had to come to terms with the fact that when we go to the playground, there is either no one on it, or there are very little kids walking around, because the rest of the children are in the kindergarten. I had to come to terms with the fact that when asked by curious “mimicrocodiles”: “Do you go to kindergarten?” my child replies: “Nope, I didn’t want to.” And, despite the fact that my anger—at my son, at myself, at the situation, at the teachers—had subsided at that moment, fears took its place.
I was afraid that my son lacked communication.
I know that when a child is four years old, his parents are still more important to him than the world around him, but I was still scared that we were raising Mowgli, raised in our chaotic home office.
I was afraid that my son was not developing. While the kindergarten children dance the “bunny dance” and glue appliques, my son is forced to entertain himself - with puzzles, construction sets, coloring books - but this is not according to the program!
I was afraid that he would “get on our heads” and “make it a habit” - what if he then refused to go to school? In the Institute? Work? What if he will now be with us all his life?!
I was afraid that we had fallen out of some basic scenario of life, and that was the worst thing.
Despite my parental non-conformity, for some reason it was very difficult for me to accept that I suddenly became the mother of a “non-Sad” child. I felt as if the solid ground of social predictability had disappeared from under my feet: be born, go to kindergarten and school, go to college, get married, work, have children. And although with my brain I perfectly understand that there are different scenarios, inside I was cringing at the thought that every morning thousands of children stoically stomp into kindergarten in the darkness and cold, and we lie in an embrace under the blanket and tell each other our dreams. I avidly read forums of parents and posts by bloggers who deliberately did not send their children to kindergarten. I admired their audacity and determination.
I wanted to be like them. But I was still scared.
It turns out that my son was scared too. Almost six months later, in some ordinary conversation, he asked why the teacher in his kindergarten said strange things. "What did she say?" - I asked again. “What if we don’t obey, she will call Baba Yaga,” the son answered. To say this, he closed his eyes and covered his ears with his hands - he was so scared.
At that moment, a stone wall collapsed inside me.
Babu Yaga! Seriously?! On the third day of adaptation to a completely new group, the teacher (whom the child also sees for the third day at most) tells the three-year-old child that she will call Baba Yaga! And the child walks around all day with this horror inside - he is alone, he doesn’t know anyone, they will take him away only in the evening, and then there is some kind of Baba Yaga looming on the horizon if, God forbid, he does something wrong.
Of course, my first desire was to turn into Baba Yaga myself and go bite off the heads of teachers who decided to use such methods on preschoolers. But I didn’t do this. I hugged my son and assured him that the teacher had acted stupidly and wrongly, and that Baba Yaga did not exist. Not at all, in general - only in books.
In winter, we found a private kindergarten for the child, where we take him for several hours a day - it’s cheaper, and the child spends more time with us. There are small groups, a psychologist and no Baba Yaga (this was the first thing my son joyfully told me from the doorway during the first week: “Imagine, mom, no one there said anything about Baba Yaga! What a good day!” ).
The adaptation took place in three days - easily and painlessly, and my husband never had to force his son away from him. As a result, we got our few hours of quiet working time without the child, the child received his socialization and development (and also learned that kindergarten is not always scary and bad).
This whole story, creepy and uncomfortable at the beginning, taught me a lot. I will share some conclusions that I made for myself.
Not all kindergartens are equally useful.
This seems obvious, but I’ll say right away: I’m not a fierce opponent of state gardens. I understand perfectly well that not everyone has the opportunity to send their child to a private school. However, sometimes even changing one state kindergarten to another (or one group to another) can play a huge role in the child’s psychological comfort and in his desire to go to kindergarten.
It is important to trust your child.
Three-year-olds don't know how to manipulate (those a little older don't either). They are unable to think through an insidious plan according to which they turn on the Peterhof fountains of tears every time you approach the kindergarten, so that you return them home to eat candy and watch TV. If a child cries, begs not to take him and falls into hysterics at any mention of the garden - this is not because he is such a good actor, it is because he really feels bad.
I keep praising myself for my decision - I could start putting pressure on my son and forcing him around, believing that his tears are just manipulations and whims. But I chose to believe him and recognize his right to desperately not want and be afraid of something - and, as it turned out, I did the right thing.
Breaking away from the system is scary, but there is nothing wrong with that.
I still don’t fully believe in this conclusion myself, but I will continue to work on myself. The social scenario (with gardens, schools and other must-haves) is a very convenient thing. When you get into it, you don't have to think, you don't have to choose. It relieves you of responsibility and gives you a feeling of security, programming, and reliability of the system. However, our modern education system is far from ideal and even further from the individual needs of individual children.
Perhaps, if the child is unwell, and the parents have the opportunity (this is important!), it is worth not “eating a cactus”, but looking for alternative options in the form of home education, family kindergartens and other things that in our society still look a little “fad” , but in fact for some they may be the only salvation.
It is very difficult to convince a child of something you do not believe in yourself.
Marketing principles are partly at work here. You can’t sell a product well to other people if you yourself think the product is crap. I am not a fierce fan of the kindergarten where my child went, and therefore it was difficult for me to convince my child that kindergarten is something mandatory, important, necessary and useful.
I understand that if, in parallel with the garden, my husband and I had to go to the office or to the factory full time, the conversation would be completely different, and the child would go to the garden simply because he cannot sit at home alone. But since working from home gives more freedom, the argument “mom and dad have to work” turned out to be untenable in our case - our son discovered the ability to play quietly and independently in the room for a couple of hours, so we had to “sell” him the garden in some other way .
And then I realized that, despite my fear, I did not have a single compelling reason to forcefully drag my child to the garden. After I found the kindergarten where the child goes now, talked with the staff and visited groups, it became much easier for me to tell the child how good and fun it is in the kindergarten - because it really is good and fun there (and not because “ I said so").
Sometimes half-hearted solutions work too.
I realized that I was initially stumped by the choice between either full-time gardening or no gardening at all. A little later, I started thinking about “half-time” options - when you don’t have to do something all the time or full-time, but you can cut it into pieces. If possible, you can take your child to kindergarten for half a day (even to the state kindergarten, no one can forbid you). You can take your child to kindergarten for three days out of five, and on others, for example, take a nanny or call a grandmother - each of us has our own capabilities and our own conditions, and we can try to squeeze out a comfortable maximum for everyone.
Only I decide what is best for my child.
This is such an obvious truth that has once again been tested for strength. Yes, there are thousands and thousands of children who go to kindergarten without problems, listen to threats about Baba Yaga, get hit in the forehead with a shovel, eat semolina porridge with lumps, and they are fine. Well, straight from the heart it’s normal or even good - and that’s great. And there are thousands of other children who are not normal, who feel bad, sad, uncomfortable, scared and unpleasant.
And it is the responsibility of their parents to make sure that it is not so bad for them, but at least tolerable. And in this situation, we decided for our child in a way that is objectively better for him - he runs to the new garden with joy, brings crafts and drawings from there, and begins to make friends. He stopped nervously gnawing on the collar of his T-shirt, began to eat better and argue less. This decision was optimal for us - and we are responsible for it.
I am aware that I am lucky in many ways: I live in a big city, where there are many gardens - both public and private. My husband and I work from home, and half a day in a private garden does not break a bottomless hole in our budget. We have relatively flexible schedules that allow us to pick up our child from kindergarten in the middle of the day and plan time so that we can still spend time with him in the evening. There are many factors in my situation that made my choice the way it is. I do not urge you to take children out of state kindergartens if they cry and send them to private kindergartens, because they are better there.
I encourage you to listen to your children and take them at their word.
Look for alternative options (even if it’s just another garden, which takes ten minutes longer to get to), even if it’s “half-hearted,” use all available resources. I urge you not to bow your head to the system that tells you that your child is manipulating, lying, and sitting on your neck, but to fight it so that the child can see that his parents are strongly behind him, even against Baba Yaga, even against GoRONO.
I encourage you to think critically and decide for your own, specifically for your specific child with his specific character traits and needs. And most importantly, I encourage you not to beat yourself up for your choices. If you know that you tried your best, did everything you could, and you have no other opportunities, then it’s not your fault.
Read more on the topic
How visiting a kindergarten affects a child’s development: scientists answer
It’s like they’ve changed it: why does a child behave well in kindergarten, but makes trouble at home?
Kindergarten from the inside
What not to do
Give in to persuasion and provocation. If, despite all the children's moans and pitiful lamentations, you still brought your child to the doors of the kindergarten, but at the last moment your parental heart could not stand it and you turned back with your child - this is a very dangerous path. The baby will understand that with tears and screaming he can achieve what he wants, and next time he will only have to slightly increase the volume and intensity of the crying.
Take your child to kindergarten every other day or a couple of times a week. In order for kindergarten to become an inevitable reality, the baby must appear there every day (of course, except for weekends). It's better to take him out of there early at first. It's okay if you don't leave him there for naps during the first weeks or even months. Only when the child has fully adapted to the new living conditions, try to pick him up after his nap.
You yourself are afraid of separation from your child. (read more about this on our website: Separation from the baby. When can you leave the child?) Children are unusually sensitive. At some subconscious level, all our emotions are transmitted to them - both anxiety and calmness. A heartbreaking scene of tears in the locker room is not the best way to start your baby's day. Let your child go with the confidence that he will be okay.
Question for psychologists
Asked by: Natalya
Question category: Children
17.10.2013
Good afternoon I’m probably not the only mother who is concerned about the issue of a child’s adaptation to kindergarten. My son went to kindergarten for the first time at 1 year and 6 months for three hours with me. I was nearby all this and watched him play and practice. At that time I was pregnant (waiting for the birth of my daughter). So he stayed with me for a month and a half, then he got sick and the time came to give birth. As a result, we abandoned kindergarten for more than a year. And now he is already 2.6 years old, the kindergarten again opened its doors for us (also for three hours). He flew for the first time without even saying goodbye, I was glad that my son was so enthusiastic. I spent three hours walking with my six-month-old daughter under the windows, looking out to see how he was there, to see if he was crying. Everything was fine and there were no signs of trouble. The next day he refused to go, I had to undress myself and my daughter and go with my son to the group. I spent about 10 minutes there, he started playing and we left. The next day, he didn’t let me leave the group for about 40 minutes, stood near my feet and told the teachers “I won’t”, “I don’t want” - whatever excuse they offered him. As a result, on the fourth day, he insisted that they didn’t want to go, they somehow lured him there, BUT my son met me three hours later with tears in his eyes and shouted “MOM!” Moreover, I went into the group, he was normal, played, and when he saw me he began to cry with happiness that my mother came. I constantly talked to him that I would not leave him at all, that he would play and I would take him. That he, like a big man, like an adult, like a dad (role model), goes to work. As a result, a week later I could barely get him into the garden; for the first time, the teacher took my screaming son, or rather tore him away from my leg and took him to the group. After I took him home three hours later, he didn’t leave my side. Afraid of losing me from sight. If he doesn’t see it, he immediately becomes hysterical and choked, so much so that his head begins to shake. We haven’t gone to kindergarten for a week now because of his condition. He was always a “mama’s boy”; we were always close, and we went to the bathroom and toilet together. Literally in the summer he broke away from my skirt and even went to the dacha with his grandmother without me. And now I’ve become like a leech again. It’s not hard for me to stay at home with them (the two of them are interested, although the difference is exactly 2 years). I take him to kindergarten just so that he can communicate with the children, since it became cold outside and the kids stopped walking. But it turned out that kindergarten was not given to us. The teachers say that he will cry before they take him away from me and that’s all. Periodically he remembers, but does not cry, but yells. There are no tears. He chose a teacher from whom he goes everywhere by the hand and if she leaves he starts crying. The only thing was when we just started walking (he was still interested in it) he went to various drawing and physical education classes. And after a week of walking, for the last three days I sat on benches with the teacher and refused everything. He pouts his lips and says “I won’t!” and “I don’t want to!” I'm afraid that his psyche will be undermined. I’m really really afraid that there won’t be a breakdown. It seems to me (as the mother of this child) that he is not ready for kindergarten. And I see that this adaptation, so to speak, will only lead to a shattered psyche. What should I do? Am I right in my feelings or wrong? Should I go to kindergarten or take a break for another year? Help please.
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