Children of the same age: pros and cons. How to cope alone with two children of the same age: tips

In this article we will try to analyze all the advantages and disadvantages of having babies one after another.

Just recently, parents rejoiced at the birth of a baby, and suddenly they unexpectedly received second exciting news - another child is about to be born into their family. Not every dad or mom is able to experience happiness with such news. This is not surprising, because similar children bring not only happiness, but also a lot of difficult worries.

As practice shows, all parents cope with difficulties, but maternal happiness is not given to everyone. How to learn to appreciate what is given by nature and fate? Read on.

What does it mean for children of the same age: what's the difference, photo

Children of the same age
Not all people understand what children of the same age mean. But you can guess from the phrase itself. This means that the second or subsequent baby is born a year after the previous one. It often happens that the difference between the weather is less than a year - 9-11 months . Here is a photo of children the same age:

Children of the same age Children of the same age Children of the same age

Children are the best antidepressants

What else can I say, you won’t get bored with them. Their questions, their unspoiled thinking and perception of the world amazes me with their freshness, naivety and childish purity. And my children are the engine of progress. They don’t let me become limp and get bogged down in the hustle and bustle of home on the couch in front of the TV screen. As you understand, you can’t relax much with the weather. But I am always on the move, in good shape. I manage to get everything done in record time and I don’t know the word “depression.” I don't have time for her. But there is still time for hobbies.

Would you like to turn back time and change something? No! No! And again NO! Who would then put slippers on me at night when I’m sleeping and only then wake me up to bring me some water? And I wouldn't see pillow fights? And no one painted me as a pirate? And if they do some mischief, they start meowing pitifully to make me laugh?

The advantages of having children the same age

Children of the same age
Parents' concerns about the birth of children of the same age can be understood. These are new difficulties with upbringing; it will be difficult for a mother to cope with two kids of almost the same age. After all, they need to be fed, bathed, and other caring procedures performed. But many parents cannot even think that, in addition to some difficult moments, there are advantages:

Your life outlook starts to look something like this:

First having children, then building a career.
When maternity leave ends, you will be able to devote yourself to your career without obstacles or interruptions.
In the event that you have to change your place of work, the administration will not think behind your back and ask sideways: “What if she goes on maternity leave again?”

Each age-related problem will be experienced simultaneously:

According to psychologists, crises in the development process of children occur at least once every three years.
For this reason, a mother of similar children can quite reasonably hope for periods of calm.

Noticeable savings in shoes and clothing:

Baby vests, rompers and other cute things for children need to be purchased only once, since the youngest child will quite successfully wear them after the older one.
Moreover, at this age, a child absolutely doesn’t care whether he wears someone else’s clothes or not.
With same-sex children, the problem with seasonal clothing and shoes is simultaneously solved.
Boots and jackets for babies in the first years of life almost always remain intact; they simply do not have time to wear out.

Children of the same age
Children of the same age are less jealous:

According to the observations of psychologists, children of the same age are less jealous of their parents than children with a large age difference.
The older child does not have time to realize all the advantages of existence as a single person, and he reacts quite calmly to the appearance of a newborn.
If the mother pays enough attention to each child, then jealousy can be completely eliminated.

It won't be boring:

Children of the same age have the opportunity to satisfy their most important need to communicate alone with each other, without the help of strangers.
Children will never be bored or lonely.
This definitely works for mom. If she teaches her little ones to play together, she will be able to find valuable time for both herself and dad.
However, children must “socialize” under the watchful eye of adults.

Best Development:

It has been proven that children develop much more effectively in a group than alone.
The more capable child will “pull” the second one along with him and will help him in his development.
The elder will become a good example for the younger.
Psychologists call this principle “do as I do.”

Children will not be selfish:

When the age difference between children is small, they grow up less selfish and quickly get used to the constant company of a sister or brother.
The same needs, desires and toys lead them to the important ability to cooperate and find the best way out of a conflict situation.

Good adaptation:

Young children adapt much more easily to preschool and then to school.
It will be much more fun and joyful for them to go to kindergarten and return home together.
At school, each of them will have their own soul mate and protector.
Parents, in turn, also find it much easier to study with their children.

No need to choose a kindergarten twice:

The choice of one child care center for both children saves parental time to a large extent.

Children will grow up quickly and at the same time:

14 years of maternal labor will pass by completely unnoticed, and in the mirror you will see the mother of almost independent and adult children.
Parents will have a lot of free time and a unique opportunity to devote themselves to their interests and hobbies, and to take care of themselves.

As you can see, there are many advantages. You need to remember them in order to look for only positive aspects in any situation, since children are wonderful, and even more so when they get older.

Disadvantages of simultaneous education and training of the same age

Not everything is so smooth when training the weather; various undesirable consequences may appear at different periods. Most often noted:

Difficulties in learning when going to school late. Sometimes, when children of the same age are placed in the same class, one of the children may have difficulties due to a discrepancy between his development and the program. If the eldest goes a year later, then he may be bored and may outgrow the interests of his classmates. By sending your youngest child to school a year early, without assessing the level of readiness for the school curriculum, you can end up with a child who cannot cope with the proposed workload, which is why he shows reluctance to learn or develops an inferiority complex. To avoid such situations, you need to carefully weigh the pros and cons of enrolling in school at the same time;
Insatiable curiosity. The training and upbringing of children of the same age is complicated by their enormous thirst for knowledge. One child constantly explores space and strives to reach and climb everywhere, which can put the mother in a stressful state. When there are two small children in the house, the parents’ vigilance should be doubled, because the older one can help the younger one get to forbidden places, incite them to do unreasonable things;
Conflicts. Children of the same age, for all their friendship, until they grow to a meaningful age, can often not only argue, but also fight, bite and try to take each other’s toys. Patience, constant calm explanation, and equal treatment of both children come to the aid of parents;
Unhealthy competition. With an uneven distribution of time between children and a comparison of their abilities and achievements, a fierce struggle for the attention and love of parents may occur. Children can show aggression, gloating, try to expose each other to punishment, which does not contribute to the formation of warm relationships;
The need for outside help. Raising two children with a small age difference requires constantly seeking help from other people, which is not always convenient or easy to do. It’s good if grandparents no longer work and live nearby, they can help with the older child at the first stage, in the opposite situation, serious responsibility and burden falls on the mother’s shoulders;
Same toys and equality in shopping. Often, to avoid conflict, parents have to buy the same toys, things, and creative items.

Most negative manifestations are easily overcome by changes in the behavior of adults in relation to the weather. A thorough analysis of actions and relationships between children will help parents not only correct undesirable consequences, but also prevent possible actions.

Children of the same age - difficulties and problems: disadvantages for mom

Children of the same age
The second pregnancy will be quite difficult for a woman, since her body has not yet had time to recover from the previous birth. In addition, the baby is still too small and constantly requires attention, asking to be carried in arms.

The baby is constantly gaining weight, so it becomes harder for the mother every day. If there are no helpers nearby, then after walks you have to lift the stroller yourself. In addition, the infant is not able to realize that the mother is suffering from toxicosis. Mom needs to gain enormous patience and constantly be in a state of “combat” readiness. Here are more difficulties and problems of similar children that may appear after the birth of a second child - disadvantages for the mother:

The firstborn must be prepared in advance for the arrival of a second child in the family:

The older child will have to go through some difficulties and make a number of “sacrifices.”
He needs to move to a separate crib and part with his favorite pacifier.
The baby should quickly learn to drink not from a bottle, but from a cup, etc.

The big minus is the difference that appears in the daily routine:

Mom will have to work hard and find the best option for feeding, walking and sleeping for both children.
By the time the next one is born, the eldest baby has already grown up and is actively exploring the surrounding space, developing his voice and speech.
The second child spends most of his time sleeping.

The psychological and physical stress of a woman increases:

If the family does not have permanent helpers in the person of grandparents and other relatives, then the load may simply become too much to bear.
The father of the family must protect his wife from excessive overload.
The children will be calm, and milk will remain in the breast only when the mother can rest.
Few modern women can withstand such a load on their own.

There is often no delight at birth:

Many women get a special pleasure from feeling like a young mother again at 30-35 years old.
The birth of a second child 5-7 years after the first strengthens family relationships and allows spouses to experience a “second” youth.
Sometimes tired parents of children of the same age are not able to experience such delight.

The disadvantages of having a second and subsequent children in a year are fewer than the advantages. It is important that one of the relatives helps the mother. Dad also plays a big role in raising the kids and calming the mother; he must help, even though he works. But what to do if you have to cope with the kids alone? Read the tips below.

Always together!

Our solidarity is manifested in the fact that they always fall asleep and wake up at the same time, and they always sit at the table in one folding chair to eat (they still fit in!). No, we also have a second one, of course, but try to seat them in different chairs! They will cling to each other and will be loudly indignant in two voices. We always read books together, pointing two fingers at the pictures and commenting in two voices: Paku! (tractor), Atu! (airplane), Aval! (dump truck). Construction sets, picture puzzles, children's lotto - always only those toys that can be played together. When getting ready to go outside, we will definitely quietly exchange shoes, aerobatics, if mom notices this only on the street, we will laugh merrily. The two of us will also climb onto the swing, we can still fit in too. And recently, the two of us also got sick, and when we arrived at the clinic, they were sitting there on the couch, holding hands, quiet, looking sadly at each other. They were, of course, put in the same room. My daughter was the first to fully recover, but when they wanted to discharge her first, she clung to her brother and flatly refused to leave without him. The doctors had no choice but to leave her.

How to cope with two similar children on your own if you don’t have the strength: rules and recommendations

Children of the same age
The birth of children of the same age often becomes a difficult test for parents, and it is incredibly difficult for a single young mother to cope without support and help. The main problem is that the needs and pace of life of children are already different, but their age does not allow them to be independent.

Compliance with certain rules and recommendations will allow the mother to control the physical and intellectual development of the babies, while still having time to devote time to self-care. How can one cope with two children of the same age if there is no strength? Here is the answer:

WHERE TO FIND ASSISTANTS:

Often the mother is left alone with the children, since the husband is forced to work, and there are no close relatives or they live far away.
In this situation, it is necessary to find assistants, which can be household appliances created to facilitate routine tasks.

The following types of equipment can simplify the performance of daily duties:

Radio nanny
Dishwasher
Multicooker
Microwave

Ready-made puree in jars and the use of semi-finished products will help simplify the feeding process. Slings, kangaroos, leashes and strollers with special attachments can make walks with children more comfortable. Educational cartoons and toys will help keep kids occupied for a while and ensure their intellectual development. It's also worth remembering:

Today, a significant number of goods can be delivered directly to your home, saving time and effort.
The list of modern services is also extensive, ranging from medical tests to the help of a professional nanny.
Such services require financial expenses, but in the case of the birth of similar children, the first year is considered the most difficult.
A plus is the absence of significant costs, since often clothes, toys and children's items remain in good condition and can be used for a second child.
Help can come from ordinary people, and many are ready to give a piece of their warmth.
There will always be friends or neighbors who will happily respond to a request to sit with the children for a couple of hours or go to the grocery store.
You might consider joining a group of young mothers, whose members often provide invaluable assistance to each other.

DAY ROUTINE AND INDEPENDENCE:

A properly organized daily routine can become a real salvation for a mother, who will have time to do household chores and take care of herself.
It should be convenient for all family members, and often the schedule is drawn up experimentally.
Parents may have different opinions on how to raise their child to go to the potty and eat independently.
Psychologists do not recommend tightening the rules immediately before and after the birth of the second baby.
In such a situation, the older child may develop a feeling of jealousy and the opposite result will be obtained.

Such children often resort to the following demonstrations:

Request for pacifier or breast
Giving up your usual diet
Loss of independence
Moodiness and tearfulness

With such actions, the child tries to attract the attention of adults and signals the need for care. In this situation, it is necessary to have more interesting games and activities without denying breast milk or a nipple. The older child must understand that his parents do not feel sorry for him, and with the arrival of a new family member, the number of kisses and hugs for him will not decrease.

Worth knowing : Pregnancy and the postpartum period provide many opportunities for the older child to demonstrate independence. You can ask the first-born to bring napkins, diapers and other items, and praise and encourage him for each completed task.

Children of the same age
QUESTIONS OF FEEDING AGES:

The solution to the issue of feeding children largely depends on the age of the youngest child.
If both children are already on complementary foods, then the meal intake process can be combined.
Some mothers resort to feeding both children at the same time, which allows them to unite the babies and eliminate attacks of jealousy.
If you are short on time, you can use foods that the child can pick up and eat on his own.
Young children are already able to firmly hold cookies, bananas and other fruits.
It is better to give preference to preparing the food that the kids like.
In this case, you will not need to worry about wasted time and children refusing to eat.

GETTING ENJOYMENT FROM WALKING:

The main difficulties of walking with children of the same age appear when the kids begin to walk and show different interests.
Preparing clothes in advance, including taking into account the weather forecast, will help simplify the process of dressing.

It is recommended to adhere to the following rules:

Choose wardrobe items with a minimum number of fasteners and buttons
Dress according to weather conditions
Before going out, put the children on the potty
Organize walks in special areas and fenced areas

Important: Walking in specially designated areas will prevent a child from unexpectedly running out onto the road or playing with potentially dangerous objects. Being in a fenced area does not mean that you can get carried away with conversations with other mothers and lose control over your children.

Children of the same age
ADOPTING HYGIENIC PROCEDURES:

You can combine bathing for babies from a certain age, and until this point, the older child may well be able to help his mother.
It will cope with the supply of soap, towels and other bathroom accessories.
For small children, it is enough to pour water from 20 to 25 cm, and toys will help diversify bathing.
You should not leave babies alone indoors, even for a few minutes, as babies can easily slip and get injured.

It is recommended to prepare the necessary accessories in advance:

Towels
Pajamas
Baby cream

It can be quite difficult to put babies to sleep at the same time, and often babies fall asleep only with their mother. Fairy tales, reading books and accompaniment in the form of a calm melody will help speed up the process of falling asleep. It is better to place the children so that they do not see each other, which will allow them not to be distracted.

IMPORTANCE OF HOME CARE:

The arrival of a new family member will inevitably require a revision of the usual way of life, and in the first months, real chaos may reign in the house.
In such a situation, it is better to sleep an extra hour or relax rather than try to make the house shine.

Following these rules will help make your life easier:

Don't try to complicate life by experimenting with new dishes and recipes
Take advantage of convenience foods and home delivery
Avoid frequent washing of floors and household appliances and ensuring perfect cleanliness
Make the most of the functions of household appliances - this will speed up the process of cooking, ironing and washing

CORRECT DEVELOPMENT:

It is important to pay attention to young children, developing them physically and intellectually.
It is better to work with both kids at the same time, as joint learning will stimulate a sense of competition and increase efficiency.
It is important to teach children to get along and not to envy, so specially organizing competitions is not recommended.
Many toys have age restrictions that must be followed to ensure safety.
It is better to postpone activities with puzzles, plasticine and small parts until a small child is sleeping, and an older child is awake and in a good mood.

Raising children the same age involves certain difficulties, but they can always be overcome. All problems are forgotten when two tiny creatures cuddle up to their chests and glow with joy. After a couple of years, you will definitely breathe a sigh of relief, as the children will be more independent and will be able to entertain themselves while playing together.

Psychological aspects

In most cases, a second pregnancy is a surprise; few people plan to have similar children. The first thing they think about is whether to give birth or not. They begin to worry about how they will cope with two of them, what to do if they have to go to the hospital for safekeeping, and who will take care of the older one. And the most exciting moment is how to carry a second child with a baby of the same age without harm to the body.

There are many problems with two children. A woman should discuss all issues with her husband; only joint decision-making can restore her fragile inner balance.

To overcome internal conflicts, you can consult a psychologist.

How to eliminate jealousy?

Every child is an individual from the moment of birth. In order for both to fully develop, remain a team, and not compete for mom’s attention, you need to adhere to simple rules.

Comparison. Never make a comparison between them. They are different, each with their own character and speed of perception. Classes should be age-appropriate, otherwise the older one will lag behind, and the younger one will have a decrease in self-esteem, that he does not have time, does not understand.

Interaction. This rule applies to the eldest. He should not be deprived of your attention. All the rituals that existed between you before the birth of your youngest must be preserved. If you read him a book or sang a song before going to bed, then this should continue after the birth of the youngest family member.

Partnership. In order for them to become partners at an early age, the mother must organize joint games, watching cartoons, and spending time reading, drawing, learning letters and words.

Elimination of competition between children. The desire to be better, faster, stronger, more active is always present in the children's community. But try to avoid competition between the elder and the younger. Choose sections and clubs for them in accordance with their wishes, try not to send them to the same class or group. A girl is most interested in drawing and dancing clubs, and a boy is most interested in football and hockey, which should be the basis for choosing clubs.

Punishment. Children play pranks and sometimes break something. Before scolding, determine who did the mischief. Very often, elders are offended by what they get for the misdeeds of their younger ones.

Children of the same age: reviews

Children of the same age
Do you have children of the same age, and is it very difficult for you? Then read the reviews of other parents who successfully raise such kids and enjoy life.

Svetlana, 23 years old

It so happened that I gave birth to my first child early. My husband and I got married when we were 19 years old. A year later the baby was born. However, a couple of months after his appearance, another surprise awaited us - I became pregnant again. One year and one month later we had our second baby. The boys are now grown up. My parents helped me with my upbringing and care. I am very grateful to them. The grandmothers walked with the eldest while I fed and rested with the youngest.

Irina, 26 years old

My daughters, the same age, were born 2 and 3 years ago. It was difficult at first, but I was able to endure everything and now I enjoy life. I was helped by a neighbor who also had her own child, but a little older than my first baby. But they played and walked together beautifully. At this time I could take care of my youngest child and myself.

Sofia, 31 years old

I raised my children alone. It was hard to cope. But now I’m happy with my kids. They grew a little and I felt better. At home there are all the necessary household appliances and therefore I did not waste my time on laundry or washing dishes. I bought puree (meat, vegetable) in jars. This is a good snack for children when mom doesn't have time to prepare food. My children still love this puree. Relatives and friends who have children of the same age help a lot. We take turns walking with the kids. At this time, other parents are busy with themselves.

Weather in the house

Motherhood is the highest happiness that a woman can experience... Weather is a double test of happiness.

When cars become favorites

Having given birth to your first girl, you will be so enthusiastic about buying her teddy bear dolls from toys, but with the birth of your little brother, cars will suddenly become your favorites. There were cars, tractors and motorcycles everywhere - I even found them in the refrigerator! I tried to teach her to sleep with cuddle bears, so soft - she herself would sleep with pleasure, but they sleep with cars, always turning them upside down - they put them to sleep that way. Even in my bed, I once found something in the way at night, I felt it, pulled it out - a miniature dump truck. Well, of course, I need to please my mother too.

Weather from a medical point of view

Two pregnancies, two births and, accordingly, two postpartum periods in a row are too much stress on both the body and the psyche.
The recovery period after childbirth lasts about a year, and when it is superimposed with a new wave of hormonal changes, it becomes too much stress. Psychologists working in antenatal clinics note a significantly higher percentage of postpartum mood disorders in women who gave birth with such a short break. For example, in the group of women aged 20–27 years after their first birth, there are practically no complaints about any manifestations of mood disorders. Minor “mother blues” are expressed in moodiness, touchiness, periods of sadness and soon pass.

Women of the same age who gave birth to two children in a row have more pronounced symptoms: a feeling of melancholy, loss, a significant decrease in mood, tearfulness that lasts for several months. And all this cannot be considered news.

The fact that two births a year apart are unfavorable has been known since ancient times. Among peoples living in a traditional way, even now there are conspiracies in use so that “a second child will not be born until this one runs and swims,” “... until the mother’s hands are free,” “... until the milk is renewed.” That is, until the eldest turns at least three years old.

The ancient Slavic peoples also tried to avoid too small an age difference. Moreover, I am convinced that it is harmful not only for the mother, but also for the children.

Seeing that children born without interruption get sick more often and are weaker, they associated this with the peculiarity of the existence of their guardian spirits. Small children have small guardian spirits. They are also restless, love to play and be naughty. And it happens that they are cramped together - so one takes strength from the other. Of course, now raising children of the same age is not a problem in terms of physical health. The psychological features of such a situation are worth considering.

Jealousy of an older child

And this is absolutely understandable, because mother’s sensitivity is focused mainly on the youngest, since at this stage he needs a little more attention and affection from his parents.

To avoid such an incident, you need to explain and prepare your older child in advance for the arrival of a baby in the family.

Just tell and explain to the child in ordinary phrases that he will soon have a brother or sister.

When the youngest member of the family is born, you need to praise your eldest for his help, and say more often how much his parents love him.

Try not to scold your elder for doing something wrong; it is best to explain in a calm voice how to do it right, and let him improve next time.