Like most parents, I was faced with the problem of how to get my child to eat with pleasure. We know very well how healthy vegetables, fruits, and meat are, containing vitamins and microelements necessary for the harmonious development of the baby. Before you start to panic, you should remember that selectivity of appetite in children in the first 2 years of life is normal. They prefer milk, refusing other products, understanding on a subconscious level that it is healthier. In order to prevent eating from turning into torture for a two-year-old child and a test for you, you need to find the cause and choose a convenient way to eliminate it.
Why does he refuse food?
Colic in babies
Poor appetite does not always indicate a manifestation of character; measures can only be taken after understanding the reasons.
The most difficult thing to determine is what causes dissatisfaction in infants.
Even with a good appetite, a child’s mood quickly deteriorates and interest in food disappears if it is too hot or too salty. Let's not discount the active intestinal motility that breast milk triggers, which causes colic, sleep disturbance, and inflamed gums during teething can also be the cause. Breast milk and formula can cause a baby to refuse with a stuffy nose; it is simply uncomfortable for him to suckle in such conditions, which makes him cry.
Disease
The development of an acute infectious disease is the main cause of loss of appetite in children of all ages.
It is quite understandable why he refuses to eat. It is easier for the body to eliminate the symptoms of the disease without being distracted by the digestion of food, which additionally causes discomfort when swallowing or chewing. There is no point in persuading a child to eat soup, light porridge or chicken broth, much less worry that the sick child will become completely weak from hunger.
As soon as the child’s body defeats the infection, it itself will require a means to restore strength.
New environment
The socialization of a child requires providing him with communication with peers, but the other side of the development of communication skills is often imitation in refusing to eat, which often happens in the garden, or the emergence of strong beliefs about the need to follow a diet to correct their figure, which in most cases occurs in girls aged 7 years.
Eats without appetite
A healthy child also eats poorly because he has not yet worked up an appetite, for example, in the case of a slow metabolism due to low physical activity.
There is no need to force you to finish eating everything on your plate, this will make the situation worse.
Educational mistakes that suppress food interest
Let's separately note several common mistakes that cause a child's persistent reluctance to eat:
Uses of blackmail
Threats in the form of “if you don’t eat, we won’t go for a walk,” “if you don’t eat, mom will be upset” provide the desired result for some time, but he doesn’t get pleasure from it and eventually refuses to eat food.
The result of the method is the development of a stable attitude towards the process of eating as a boring activity, from which at the age of 5 the child tries to evade and does not eat at all.
Food inappropriate for age
You can get used to eating meat, vegetables or porridge only by choosing the consistency in accordance with age.
At one year old, a child is not forbidden to refuse soup in favor of milk porridge, but at 3 years old such an excess is no longer acceptable.
Let's not forget about individual preferences, which do not necessarily coincide with ours.
Parents may be delighted with beef or pears, but the baby may dislike them and eat only rabbit and bananas.
The desire to feed to please your child
Worried that the baby will remain hungry, we rush to cook him something else. Or even worse, we feed them by stuffing them into our mouths while listening to cartoons.
Such a reaction is indulgence in whims.
Mom and dad make this mistake especially often when trying to feed their two-year-old toddler.
If he refuses to eat porridge or soup - no big deal, let him play some more and get hungry, then the same dish will be destroyed with pleasure.
Perseverance in the decision to make you eat
When a baby, for some strange reason, suddenly stops eating something that previously did not cause any disgust, then it would be a big mistake to force him to eat it.
It is necessary to have a conversation to find out the reason for this behavior.
Perhaps in kindergarten he tried a new dish with this product, which he did not like, or simply succumbed to the general behavior of children who boycotted lunch. In this case, you can offer to try to eat “how deliciously mom cooks,” “check that the sorceress of the housewife can make tasteless foods tasty,” or offer to be the best, simply because of the ability to be different.
Rejection of diets
Girls will always find a reason to doubt the ideality of their appearance. They tend to try to diet.
Arguing with a child and demanding that he renounce his beliefs is stupid, because this only exacerbates his desire to achieve his goal.
It is worth explaining that it is wrong to refuse all products; each of them is a source of essential microelements.
There is nothing complicated in changing the cooking method (not frying, but boiling, baking), giving up fatty meats and fish in favor of dietary ones, adding a little salt and sweetening the food.
Such an approach will not only provide the growing body with the right diet, but will also strengthen trust in parents and make it easier to accept criticism in kindergarten or school.
Comparison with other children
Pointing out to a child that certain Masha, Lena or Petya eat much better and leave it at that, only provokes hostility towards the mentioned individuals.
Every little person considers himself special, so he does not tolerate comparison with anyone; childhood grievances can be reflected in the future.
Therefore, it is important for him to know how close family members evaluate his actions.
Problems with natural breastfeeding
Even after a month, bottle feeding can be replaced by breastfeeding if done correctly.
The first step should be to eliminate the reason that made you switch to formula milk.
Then you should carefully observe the behavior of the baby to understand the reason for the refusal.
Reasons for breast refusal
Natural feeding becomes a problem for mothers who allow their baby to become familiar with the pacifier. Experts note that due to the need to develop a new sucking technique, the child develops psychological discomfort.
In most cases, children do not want to constantly make a choice, because a pacifier can be at their disposal for quite a long time, and a caring mother can replace the breast with a bottle.
With artificial feeding, food easily passes through the nipple without much effort, which allows you to relax during complementary feeding.
Returning to breast milk
Coming back is hard because you have to work hard for it. Resistance is expressed in whims, which the mother tries to suppress by returning the treasured bottle, which is a big mistake.
Reluctance to breastfeed is often caused by improper attachment of the baby to it.
If the baby also swallows air along with the milk, he will subsequently experience discomfort and even pain in the abdomen. Incorrect attachment does not allow him to receive the required amount of vital substances, and provokes painful sensations in the mother during feeding. A newborn may refuse human milk if he or she has health problems:
- increased gas formation or colic caused by imperfect digestion;
- colds, ARVI;
- inflamed gums due to teething;
- runny nose.
If signs of illness appear, it is enough to consult a pediatrician to quickly restore good health and appetite.
Self-treatment will not bring anything good; only a specialist can determine whether medications can be used or whether massage is enough.
Absolute refusal to breastfeed or poor appetite is provoked by the presence of foreign odors, such as perfume.
How can a mother return to breastfeeding?
Let me note right away that it is difficult to give up the bottle. The mother is required to show maximum endurance and patience.
The first step to return to proper nutrition is a radical abandonment of pacifiers and bottles.
Naturally, such changes cause a storm of protest in the baby.
It is difficult to withstand the wave of resistance, but after 2-3 days the newborn, who does not have access to objects that can replace the breast, begins to latch onto it correctly and stops being capricious.
The complete absence of pacifiers also eliminates the development of stress due to the need to choose between sucking methods.
Mother and child need constant contact with each other.
The role of touching and stroking
Touching and stroking the baby promotes the production of oxytocin in the female body, which is necessary for the production of breast milk.
Even during pregnancy, you need to stroke your belly and talk to your baby.
This forms a strong connection that promotes the production of human milk in the future. Being in your mother's arms creates a feeling of comfort and protection. To return to natural feeding, it is necessary to ensure that the child has only positive associations with his mother, so she should spend as much time as possible with him.
Breast should be given as often as possible, but not insisted on.
With natural feeding, there is no need to adhere to a strict schedule, as with formula.
The baby will quickly realize that receiving food on demand and falling asleep in this process is much more pleasant than a bottle, and remembering how to suck correctly is not difficult. He will finally be able to relax and eat in peace.
How to get a child to eat at 1 year 4 months. Selection of cookware
To teach a child to eat independently, you must first take care of choosing the first cutlery. A correctly selected spoon will speed up the process of acquiring the skill and reduce the number of misfires.
When purchasing this tableware, you should pay attention to several important nuances:
- The most important condition is that the spoon must be safe. It is necessary to purchase tableware in specialized children's stores, which have all the necessary certificates confirming the safety of the materials;
- There is no need to confuse the device for first feeding with a spoon for self-feeding. The kitchen utensil required in our case must have a wide scoop so that the child cannot drop the captured food;
- Since children as young as 1 year old initially grasp and squeeze a spoon with their fist, it is important to take care of choosing the right holder. The handle of the cutlery should be short and wide. In this case, the child will hold it more tightly;
- Spoons with curved handles are available for sale. It is believed that such devices are easier for young children to handle. Another option is products with rotating holders. No matter how the child turns the handle, a special rod inside rotates after it, so the collected food does not fall out. Additionally, there is a lock to lock the rod when the child grows up.
Food training
Pediatricians constantly point out to young fathers and mothers that at every age the child must have developed certain skills (the ability to use a spoon, chew pieces of food), otherwise it will be difficult for him to adapt to kindergarten. But in pursuit of the desire to be like everyone else, it’s easy to forget that every little person is individual. The opinion of the famous doctor Komarovsky indicates that it is possible to avoid problems in accustoming to food (video at the end of the article)
Avoid being overprotective
It is not easy for a child to learn to chew cookies or apples on his own right away, but this does not mean that until he is 2 years old he should be given only pureed food.
The more often he trains on solid food, the faster he will master chewing skills.
Those who are very afraid that the baby may choke, simply should not leave him alone at this time.
Use comfortable cutlery
Some people are comfortable with feeding with a teaspoon, while others need a special plastic one that is smaller in size.
If a child does not eat well from a spoon, then you should not force the child to eat this way.
It is enough to return to the bottle for a couple of days, and then try again, so as not to cause fear or disgust.
Adjust your diet
Reluctance to pick up a spoon and spitting out food is often a consequence of a simple lack of hunger. Too frequent feeding, the tricks that everyone resorts to to feed their child, not only provoke whims, but can also cause dangerous diseases. It's better to wait until the baby is hungry.
Those who are preparing to go to a nursery group in the kindergarten should consult in advance on what schedule the baby will eat in kindergarten, in order to provide him with the most similar regime at home.
Support rather than force
All children try to “grow up faster.” They begin to copy the actions of adults as soon as they realize that they can cope with this task. That is why you should not force him to pick up a cup or spoon and absorb vegetable purees until he begins to try to do this himself.
But then unobtrusive support and moderate praise are enough to create a strong desire to repeat the experiment.
Not understanding why to perform such a complex and uninteresting exercise causes fear and mistrust. Forced training in the ability to use cutlery due to reaching a certain age results in the inability to hold it correctly. Such children often have problems with nutrition in the garden, which cannot be overcome for a long time.
Learn to distinguish whims from necessity
The child prefers certain products due to whim or health conditions, for example, with severe allergic reactions. Komarovsky claims: if selectivity in food is not caused by the need to follow a diet due to illness, then in children from 3 years old this behavior is explained solely by the lack of hunger.
If you don’t indulge, but simply increase the time between meals, adding active games to these intervals, then a good appetite will not allow you to be capricious at the table.
At the age of 11 months to 3 years, children prefer dairy products, as they are more familiar and necessary for growth, as well as fruit purees because of their sweetness. Porridge, soups, mashed potatoes, pasta, vegetables and meat should be introduced into the menu carefully, without fanaticism.
Let your child eat on his own
By forbidding a child to pick up a spoon on his own for fear that he will get hurt or get dirty and get upset, parents are raising their child to be a manipulator. At the first call of the three-year-old, even his grandmother appears, ready to spoon-feed him any of several pre-prepared dishes. They forget that teachers will have to force the child to eat in kindergarten, which will cause him real stress, and with him it is impossible to avoid a selective attitude towards food, as a way to maintain increased attention to his person. I have had to deal with whims at the table more than once. Usually our problems begin after the children have been visiting their grandmother for a week, who is ready to cook for everyone separately “so that the grandson does not remain hungry.”
Discipline, no indulgences or snacks - after 2-3 days both sons eat without problems.
How to induce an appetite
If you cannot persuade your child to eat, follow these recommendations:
- Provide varied meals . Focus on the kindergarten menu - prepare a casserole for breakfast, pumpkin puree soup and pasta with meatballs for lunch, vegetable stew for dinner.
- Cook together . Trust an assistant to mix the ingredients, for example. He will be interested in trying his own masterpiece.
- Trust your baby to set the table . Turn it into a restaurant game.
- Prepare dishes without onions . Children often refuse to eat it. If you cannot do without onions, finely chop the heads and boil for more than 2 minutes. So, the additive will not be felt in the dish.
- Give food in different forms . If you previously offered pureed soups, then try dishes with pieces.
- Use seasonings and additives - honey, oil, herbs, nuts, dried fruits.
- Do not have frequent snacks , especially with sweets and cookies. Sweets curb your appetite.
- Avoid sugary drinks . Compotes, juices, and jelly contain sugar, which suppresses appetite. Try to give clean water before lunch. Offer compote and sweet tea after the main meal, instead of dessert.
- Eat at the same time every day . Stick to a prescribed diet immediately after breastfeeding.
- Eat meals together . The baby will copy your behavior at the table and will also begin to eat with appetite.
- Go shopping with your child . Let him choose his own fruit or vegetable, for example.
- Lead an active lifestyle . To get hungry, the baby must spend energy on a walk or in active games.
How to instill in a 1-5 year old child an interest in the process of eating and make him eat with a spoon
Let's not forget that children try to copy adults in their behavior, including in relation to food. The earlier the baby eats at a common table, the easier it will be to cope with the selectivity of his appetite that arises in the process of growing up.
It is easier to force a one-year-old child to eat with a spoon and to stop indulging if you allow him to eat with all family members.
How to feed your child a variety of foods
Indeed, the problem of a balanced diet is very acute. Many children do not like to eat meat, some refuse vegetables, and others do not recognize fruits. However, doctors say that a child's diet should be varied. Every day he must eat something meat, something dairy, some fruit and vegetable, and cereal is a must. This will provide the baby with the right amount of vitamins. What to do if a child refuses meat or doesn’t like vegetables at all?
- Many children do not eat onions in any form. However, if you chop it finely and cook it for at least two hours in the broth, it will dissolve almost completely, the baby won’t even notice it.
- In kindergartens, potatoes are cut small enough so that one piece can fit into a child's mouth. But even in this case, teachers admit that not everyone eats soup. But if you crush the potatoes directly in the soup, the children eat the dish with much more pleasure.
- It is quite rare to find a child who loves meat. Firstly, the meat is quite tough in structure. In order for your baby to eat it with pleasure, you need to prepare cutlets and meatballs from the meat. Moreover, you need to scroll it through a meat grinder 2-3 times to make the dish very soft. Add a little fat and onion to the minced meat for juiciness, steam the cutlets, serve them hot, immediately after cooking. The baby will definitely not refuse such a delicacy.
- To ensure that your child enjoys eating fruits and vegetables, you can cut out the shapes of stars, people, animals and other shapes from them. In general, creative presentation of dishes is very important for a child; interest usually whets the appetite.
- Some mothers admit that children do not want to eat whole fruits and vegetables, but are happy to eat them in pieces. That is, you need to cut pears, peaches, apples, bananas and other fruits into small pieces, put them in a bowl and give it to the child. Sometimes using a fork on your own causes incredible delight. Try to give your child a fork with non-sharp ends so that the baby does not get hurt.
- If your child refuses food, try giving it in different forms. That is, sometimes one-year-old babies refuse food simply because they do not want to eat the usual puree from a blender. They like dishes with small, hard pieces much more. This is called pedagogical complementary feeding, when new foods are introduced into the child’s diet from the mother’s plate.
- Cook delicious food for your child! Sometimes parents worry about proper nutrition for their child, although they themselves do not adhere to the established rules. If a baby happily eats broccoli at six months, then don’t be surprised that he will refuse green mass at three years. When preparing the puree, add butter, a little milk and salt - that is, so that it is really tasty for the baby.
- By the way, it is easier to feed a child meat if it is a chicken leg. For some reason, many children love them very much.
- Until three to five years of age, do not introduce industrial sausages, chips, ketchups and similar dubious food products into your child’s diet. Understand that mom’s soup will rarely win the battle against sausages, so it’s better to protect yourself from such food in advance. The later the child finds out what it is, the better.
- If your child completely refuses vegetables, you can cheat and make juice from them. That is, mix carrot and apple juice, serve it to your baby with a straw, or even pour it into a store-bought juice container. Often children, without seeing the cooking process, enjoy drinking freshly squeezed juices. But remember, for a child under three years old, the juice must be diluted with water.
- You can also use this technique. Buy your child a beautiful plate with fairy-tale or cartoon characters painted on the bottom. Tell your child that he should eat soup quickly to say hello to his beloved friend.
- Do not make porridge overly sugary - many children do not like this. Add sugar sparingly, be sure to decorate the taste with a pinch of salt. You can add vanillin or cinnamon to semolina porridge. Don't let lumps form - you can develop an aversion to semolina for life. But children will eat deliciously prepared porridge with great pleasure.
And further. If your child doesn't want to eat, don't force or coax him. If you don’t want to eat, don’t, eat the soup later. But be firm - do not offer any alternative, otherwise the child will constantly manipulate you in terms of food. Talk to your elders in advance. In the morning you must say out loud - the porridge is ready, who will be there? If all the adults in the household, including older children, happily run to the kitchen, the baby simply will not be able to stay away! Give your child a little so that he can finish the portion and enjoy the taste of the dish.
If a child refuses any food and this is accompanied by symptoms such as abdominal pain, vomiting, diarrhea, weakness, heartburn, then you need to see a doctor as soon as possible. This may be a sign of poisoning or gastroenterological disease.
how to teach a child to drink water
Useful tips
I offer a few simple tips that will help make family meals not only healthy, but also enjoyable:
Strictly follow the feeding ritual every day
Stability for children is in many ways a guarantee of peace of mind, so it is necessary to ensure not only adherence to the daily routine with eating at a certain time, but also to ensure that everyone living together eats only in the kitchen, to form the right habits, to establish a lifestyle by giving up TV, phones. Daily adherence to these rules helps to cope with the need for attention from all family members, forcing the little man to control his behavior and avoid whims.
By watching adults, the child learns etiquette and can answer how to hold cutlery correctly.
He learns the rules for using cutlery, learns how to combine different products to achieve maximum taste. And all this against the background of general stability, friendliness and security.
Retaining the right to choose the products he wants
Children prefer to independently choose the most comfortable seats for themselves at the table. There is no need to argue, just accept the rules of the game and the baby will be the first to run to the kitchen to take “his” place.
Give your child a nice plate and the spoons he wants.
You shouldn’t limit your child’s choice of food either; let him eat and drink what he really likes. There should always be edibles on the table that do not cause him dissatisfaction, for example, bread, which he can combine with similar dishes.
This does not mean that you need to put unhealthy foods on the table.
It’s not enough to cook only what the baby likes; monotony is generally disgusting. The more dishes children try, the easier it will be for them to get rid of their role as “not wanting.”
More communication
Conversations at the table help establish the necessary atmosphere. In the process of interesting communication, you can provoke the child to eat on his own, without looking at the dish.
Even if the child eats only for the baby, he should not be forced to eat alone.
He needs company, even if mom has a very small portion, the main thing is the opportunity to talk, and not concentrate on looking at the food.
During a meal, you can discuss everything except the amount the child has eaten.
Otherwise, every meal will be perceived as a parade of reproaches.
Don't spend extra time sitting at your desk
There is no need to force the baby to sit in his place until all family members have finished eating. Such a demand turns into whims, throwing away what one eats.
Children need to know they can leave at any time in order to feel comfortable.
Leaving the student alone at the table also does not contribute to a good appetite; trying to imitate the others, he will remain hungry and disappointed. Therefore, in kindergarten, children who have finished their meal can go straight to play without waiting for the others, so the baby eats everything quickly to start playing.
No bribery
The baby should know that he will receive a treat after eating the main course.
It is in this sequence, and not as a reward. Otherwise, thoughts about candy or other treats absorb the child’s attention so much that he is no longer able to eat porridge, and looks at soup with disgust. Realizing the inability to eat a small spoon of this unappetizing dish compared to the delicacy, the baby begins to be capricious, and a hungry and upset child is a test for parents.
Respect for food and the example of parents
Preschoolers begin to throw food, play with it, and mistreat it when they are full. Pediatricians recommend immediately stopping this behavior by taking the plate away from the naughty person. He needs to learn that once he has satisfied his hunger, he should not throw food away. This rule also helps in situations where, after active play, the child cannot calm down at the table. You just have to offer to pick up the food, because “if he’s playing around, it means he’s full.”
Your own example in relation to food will greatly help your child develop rules of behavior in the kitchen.
For preschoolers, dad and mom are the main role models; he wants to be like them in everything. If the parents ate with pleasure, then the child will follow his example.
Baby needs to work up an appetite
Physical activity and a trip to the grocery store help awaken hunger. In kindergarten, the method of walking in the fresh air is actively used, where children can throw out excess energy, get tired and recharge themselves in a good mood, so that they don’t get picky at the table and eat too little.
Honesty and cooperation
Some ingredients of even the most delicious dish, such as onions, can look suspicious and scary, causing your baby to refuse to eat it. Avoiding keeping culinary secrets will help you cope with this task.
Take your child with you to the market or to the store when going grocery shopping, ask him for advice on which vegetables look best.
Child kitchen helper at 4 years old
Already at 4 years old, children can be excellent helpers in the kitchen, arranging dishes, supervising the process of cutting vegetables and mixing prepared ingredients. They can answer how borscht is prepared and participate in its preparation.
Cooking together not only awakens the appetite, but also teaches you not to be afraid to try, because all the components of the dish have been tested.
From the age of 6, children can independently prepare simple dishes and help their mother create a real culinary masterpiece. Give the children the opportunity to choose the most delicious recipes. Try to allow them to cook, serve them on the table with them, and they will no longer be picky at the table, because the desire to evaluate the result will be stronger. Motivate a 6-year-old child, and he will thank you.
Turns away twenty times - eats once
If you are going to bring a spoon of puree to your child, then prepare for the fact that before he eats it, he will turn away from it twenty times. This is not an unfounded statement, it is a proven fact. Numerous studies and observations confirm exactly this pattern of behavior in young children. In order to interest a child in a new type of product, you need to offer it seventeen to twenty times.
It follows that you need to be patient and calmly but confidently insist on your own. If you want your children to try something new, you need to be able to wait. We will also have to come to terms with large “production waste”, although now, when television constantly shows images of starving people in Africa, this seems like an unforgivable sin. If you feel guilty, transfer funds to a children's aid fund. In any case, you need to get used to the idea that there will be waste.
After this, introduce the new food to your children without forcing them to eat it. Strange, but the number of such impressions before they swallow it is about twenty.
It is very important not to force, since the only way to teach children to resist is to force food in. If you want to teach your little Tarquin to hate carrots, just shove them into his mouth as hard as possible while he screams in protest.
