How to Put Your Baby to Sleep: 15 Bedtime Tips

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How to put a child to sleep without tears, without performing a feat of patience and endurance? There are scattered advice and complex proprietary techniques. But each parent creates his own ritual, observing the newborn, getting to know his temperament. Let's consider all the components of sleep and important details so that you can enjoy spending the evening hours with your baby and fall asleep quickly and peacefully every time.

How long does a child need to sleep?

In the first six months of life, children sleep most of the day - from 16 to 18 hours. Then the total number of hours of sleep gradually decreases (from one to three years of age - about 13 hours), and the number of daytime hours (at the age of three the baby sleeps only once during the day). The longest and most important is night sleep. And its key is calm and a sense of security. Therefore, all tips on how to quickly put a child to sleep come down to creating a harmonious and warm atmosphere. What is needed for this and what can help?

The baby's mood directly depends on the mother's condition. If she feels rested and negative emotions and irritation do not unsettle her, then the baby will be relaxed. From the first months of life, a newborn exhibits its own temperament and characteristics of the nervous system. Quiet or lively - you shouldn’t resist the child’s characteristics, it’s better to accept them and adapt. This way your bedtime ritual will form faster.

Teaching a child to fall asleep on his own

When a child grows up, parents have a question about how to teach their baby to fall asleep on his own, without tedious rocking and feeding. At the moment, there are many methods for falling asleep independently. Conventionally, they can be divided into two large groups:

Estville method. Its essence is that there is no need to react to children's crying. After crying enough, the baby will calm down and fall asleep. Some varieties of this method allow you to approach the child a certain number of times, gradually increasing the time between approaches. Those who have tried this method on themselves claim that in this way you can teach a child to fall asleep on his own in less than two weeks, but for this the parents must have nerves of iron.
The possibility of using this kind of methods raises many doubts among psychologists and doctors. Prolonged crying and screaming have a negative impact on health: the child may have a headache, vomiting and a fever. In addition, this approach to falling asleep traumatizes the child’s psyche. How does a baby feel when left alone with his fear? Remember that you are the most important person in the world for your child. It is you who give him a feeling of security, reliability, and peace. When your baby desperately calls you and you don't come, he begins to feel abandoned and helpless. In the end, the child does stop crying, but this happens because the baby has simply lost hope that his mother will come. According to Estvil himself, his method cannot be applied to children under three years of age due to the high likelihood of neuroses.

The second group of methods for teaching yourself to fall asleep on your own is based on the idea that the mother should be near the child if he needs it. Gradually, you can reduce the amount of time you spend with your child before bedtime until the baby learns to fall asleep on his own. This method may be quite long, but the process will proceed exactly at the pace that is comfortable for your child.

The rituals that we have already told you about above will help teach your child to fall asleep on his own. Using a ritual helps the child understand that after performing a certain sequence of actions, only sleep will follow. Accordingly, the baby will no longer constantly ask to go to the toilet, play or drink water in order to delay going to bed.

When the ritual of falling asleep is firmly established, you can gradually replace the last actions in the ritual with those that do not require your presence. For example, if your baby is used to you holding his hand while he falls asleep, try leaving a toy with him. Explain to your child that he is old enough to try to fall asleep on his own. If the baby calls you, be sure to return to him. Gradually you can increase the time you are away. A child who is confident that his mother will come to him if necessary will calm down faster and be able to fall asleep.

If your child experiences extreme anxiety when falling asleep on his own, he may simply not be ready for it yet. There is no need to put pressure on the child, otherwise this may cause even stronger resistance. Take a break and return to trying to teach your baby to fall asleep on his own after some time.

Pay close attention to how your child behaves

When a baby is tired and wants to sleep, he involuntarily gives signs to his parents. Over time, they become permanent habits: some rub their ears, others twist their hair. Having noticed this signal, parents should immediately start putting the baby to bed. It’s better to postpone things: if you miss this moment in the child’s biorhythm, you can wait a few more hours for the next one, suitable for falling asleep. As usual, children signal that they want to sleep:

They become slow and want to lie down on the floor or on a pillow.
He rubs his eyes and begins to yawn.
Rub your ear or nose.
They are capricious, refuse to eat and play, and cry over little things.
They don’t want to communicate with others, they are drawn to their parents.
They become overexcited and even become aggressive.

How much should a child sleep per year and beyond?

By the age of 12 months, the child can fall asleep without any problems at any time of the day. His daily routine became familiar. If he has nervous breakdowns, excessive excitability, whims for no reason, a bad mood in the morning, or he tries to fall asleep earlier than expected, then the baby is not getting enough rest. The daily routine should be adjusted.

Quite often, many parents have questions about how much sleep a child should sleep per year. For proper rest, a one-year-old baby needs 13 hours. Of these, three hours are allocated for two daytime sleeps, and ten hours are intended for night dreams.

The norm for “quiet hour” for children aged 2-3 years is approximately 2.5 hours, 3-7 years – 2 hours. After the age of seven, it is not necessary to sleep during the day.

Align your daily chart

Important advice with a cumulative effect: in order for the daily routine to work for you, you need to strictly follow it for 3-4 weeks. Even if the baby is capricious and resists. Gradually, a habit will form; your sleep and wakefulness patterns will be easy to maintain. Your baby's day should be busy. Choose different activities: walks, games, communication with mom and dad. You need to put your child to bed at the same time during the day. Don't be afraid to wake your child up after a midday nap: if fatigue doesn't accumulate in the evening, it will be difficult to quickly put your baby to bed. Babies up to 6 months should have at least three hours from evening sleep to nighttime sleep. For older children - at least four.

Elizabeth Pantley's advice

How to put your child to sleep without crying? The mother of four children and the author of a wonderful book offers very effective techniques. It is worth noting that both one and two awakenings per night are a normal situation for a child under three years of age. Here are just some of the tips published in Elizabeth Pantley's bestselling book, How to Get Your Baby to Sleep Without Crying:

The baby should consume the bulk of calories during the daytime, when only healthy foods should be given. And in the evening you should feed with proteins and carbohydrates, for example, these could be: various cereals, yogurt, oats, cheese, some fruit, brown rice, a small amount of meat. Avoid eating foods containing sugar at night.
Both the bed and pajamas should be cozy, comfortable and soft. Be sure to follow a daily routine. So, for example, some time before bedtime, the sequence of actions may be as follows: a walk in the fresh air, dinner, taking a bath, reading a book, quiet calm music, bottle or breastfeeding, dim lights and bed.
From 18:30 you need to watch the mischief maker. As soon as signs of fatigue begin to appear, he should be put to bed. This should be done before he gets completely wild and runs around the house. While laying down, you can turn on calm music; the room should be twilight.
Night sleep also depends on daytime sleep. If during the “quiet hour” the baby slept for less than 60 minutes, then this is not complete rest. The child rubs his eyes, gets irritated, asks to be held, yawns and is no longer interested in games - all these are sure signs of fatigue. Therefore, it is recommended to quickly put him to bed.
If your little one wakes up in the middle of the night, he needs to be helped to fall asleep again. You should not make eye contact with him, and also change diapers unless absolutely necessary. You can repeat a calming phrase several times, for example: “Shhh.” At the same time, it does not need to be used in other situations; the baby should have an association with night sleep. There is no need to turn on the lights, the windows must be darkened.
How to put a child to sleep in 5 minutes? The baby just needs to have some soft object next to him, to which he feels great affection. For example, it could be a soft toy. But it should not be something sharp, prickly, with buttons or ropes. You should keep only one favorite toy near your bed.

Create an evening ritual

Every action before bed can ring a bell for the baby's subconscious.
You want your pre-bed ritual to be pleasant and calming. A familiar environment and sequence of actions are important for the child: feeding, bathing, massage and communication with the mother. The ritual system works if the age and characteristics of the child’s nervous system are taken into account. What is relevant for other children will not necessarily suit your son or daughter. When a stable sequence of actions “at night” has developed, try to follow it and very carefully, carefully introduce new activities and other actions. Here are examples of five rituals that can help put your baby to sleep quickly:

Farewell to toys: gather all your favorite friends and wish everyone good night.
Turn off the lights: go around all the rooms together and turn off the lights - this way you will let your baby know that the whole house is getting ready for bed.
Watching the fish: If you have a home aquarium, watching the fish slowly move through the water is very calming.
Sing a lullaby: choose a song that will soothe and lull your baby to sleep.
Read a story: Hearing a good story before you go to bed is a great option.

Take a warm bath

Bathing itself will help prepare your baby for sleep. Your allies in this matter: warm water (optimal temperature - 37 degrees), lush foam, mother's caring hands and a relaxing massage after bathing. The aroma of the foam you use is important. The “My Sunshine” bathing product line includes “Bayu-bayushki” foam with a proven combination of aromas that help set your baby up for sleep. It contains natural lavender extracts and rose oil. Thanks to them, the foam not only gently cleanses and moisturizes the skin, but also soothes and relaxes the baby. The hypoallergenic foam is recommended by pediatricians for daily use, so its aroma can become an additional “bell” - a signal for sleep. After the bath, use Bayu-bayushki cream. Thanks to its light texture, it is instantly absorbed. Many mothers note that after light stroking and application of Bayu-bayushki cream, children easily fall asleep on their own.

Feed your baby shortly before bedtime

After a hearty dinner, the child relaxes and falls asleep easily. But some children, on the contrary, become active after eating, and putting them to sleep after feeding may not be so easy. Therefore, you need to adjust the feeding time. If the baby calms down after eating, you can feed him an hour before bedtime and immediately take a bath. Then he will feel comfortable in the water. Don't worry if your baby has a hard time settling down and falling asleep for a long time while you feed him at night. Once you outgrow this period, his sleep will return to normal. If a baby at 2-4 weeks of life is bothered by colic after eating, and because of this he cannot fall asleep, then immediately after feeding you should rock him in your arms for 10-15 minutes, placing him with his tummy down.

Traditional methods

Rocking, a lullaby, a pacifier, swaddling, a mother's gentle touch and a comfortable crib will help your baby fall asleep quickly.

Motion sickness. There are various conflicting opinions associated with this method. For example, Dr. Komarovsky believes that intense shaking can lead to dizziness and loss of consciousness due to a weak vestibular system. Other experts claim that as a result of motion sickness, calm comes and the vestibular apparatus is strengthened.
A comfortable crib made of natural wood, with a comfortable, moderately hard and elastic mattress, as well as bedding with cheerful patterns ensure a healthy and sound sleep.
Tactile sensations. Thanks to the mother's touch, the child relaxes as much as possible and falls asleep. The main thing is to gently influence certain points of the body. This could be the back, back of the hands, areas behind the ears, hair, eyebrows, feet. Doctors advise pressing the baby to the chest so that his head comes into contact with the mother’s neck, namely with the location of her carotid artery, where a pulsating rhythm is observed. This has a beneficial effect on the process of falling asleep. After completing the steps described above, you should put the baby in bed and turn off the lights.
Dummy. Even in the womb, the child sucks his finger, which is an unconditioned reflex and a protective reaction to various stimuli, both external and internal. After birth, an alternative option is a pacifier, which is best removed during deep sleep. Thanks to her, the baby is not distracted by anything and quickly falls asleep. However, doctors say that such a pacifier can cause problems with bite and nasal breathing.
Lullabies for children. The melodic melody has a calming effect on the nervous system and also relieves anxious feelings. You need to sing even if you don’t have an ear for music. What is important is a measured tempo, a calm melody and the mother’s voice.
Swaddling. How to put a one-month-old baby to sleep? He needs to be swaddled. This method reduces motor activity and promotes rapid sleep. The fact is that a baby who is less than three months old is frightened by large spaces; he begins to involuntarily wave his arms. The cramped conditions are reminiscent of the mother's womb; therefore, the child feels safe and comfortable, and postpartum stress is overcome. However, a large amount of clothing and tight swaddling lead to the opposite effect.

Let your baby fall asleep on his own

There are proprietary methods for gradually teaching a child to fall asleep on his own. One method is called “In/Out”: the mother puts the baby in the crib and goes into another room. The first time she leaves the baby alone for 5 minutes. At this time, it is important not to give in, even if the baby starts to whine. Then you can return to the room and calm the baby, and then leave again for 10 minutes. The interval gradually increases, and on days 5-7 the child will begin to fall asleep on his own. How it works? Children realize that whims and tears do not work, and they stop resisting. Considering the previous advice (own bed, ventilated room, bathing, etc.), they reflexively fall asleep.

Briefly about the author's methods

American pediatrician Harvey Karp offered parents a five-point algorithm, which, in his opinion, would quickly send the child to sleep. Here they are:

rock;
swaddle;
give a pacifier;
lay on your side;
turn on soothing white noise.

And the method of pediatrician from Spain Eduard Estiville is suitable for children over one and a half years old. During the day, mom and dad should encourage the baby to fall asleep on his own in the evening. You need to repeat this mood several times. When it comes to bedtime, parents again need to be warned that now they will leave him alone and will come in to check on him in a minute. After which they actually get up and close the door behind them. Estiville believed that it was necessary to endure these 60 seconds, even if the baby cried. Day by day, the period of time needs to be increased - gradually the child will get used to falling asleep on his own. This approach is controversial: it has as many followers as opponents.

An ordinary father from Australia, Nathan Dylo, shared his own life hack online: he showed how he could put his son to sleep in less than a minute using a paper napkin. For some time the man carefully strokes the baby’s cheeks, and he really quickly falls asleep. Experts explain: this is not know-how, children simply react sensitively to tactile contact - soft stroking calms them down.

Mistakes parents make when putting their baby to bed

When a child falls asleep quickly, it is good for his health and does not cause worries for his father and mother. If the baby tries by hook or by crook to delay the process of sleep and does not let his parents go, the daily routine may be disrupted, and the child is only partly to blame for not giving anyone peace. And in order to change the situation, it is necessary to make efforts, and this will take some time.

Of course, upbringing should not be overly harsh - this can cripple the child’s vulnerable psyche, but discipline is a necessary thing, and without it it will not be possible to achieve a positive result. What do loving dad and mom do wrong, and the result is disobedience and protest of the baby?

Unfortunately, there are several shortcomings on the part of parents:

Constant rocking before bed - some mothers practice this approach until the child is 3-4 years old. There is little good in this, the fact is that the child quickly gets used to falling asleep with such methodical movements, but cannot get a full night’s sleep, since there is no deep relaxation phase. The same applies to other cases - when a child falls asleep while moving a stroller or while driving a car. These actions are more suitable to calm the baby, but you should not make him persistently dependent on this process in relation to sleep.
It is also considered wrong to put the baby to bed too late . Despite the fact that a small child needs to sleep at least half a day, modern children generally lack sleep for about an hour a day. Parents, believing that the later the child goes to bed, the faster he will go to sleep, are deeply mistaken - regular lack of sleep leads to his overtiredness, which is why he falls asleep with great difficulty. Capriciousness and tears may be associated with this. It is clear that adults have their own affairs and work, but children’s sleep patterns should not be disturbed.
Toys in bed are another reason why a child is unable to fall asleep. Music, movement on a TV or mobile phone, even sparkling lights only disturb the baby. They distract him and make him overexcited. Therefore, any entertaining activities before a night's rest are inappropriate.
Co-sleeping. Often due to illness or mild illness, many parents allow their children to sleep in their bed or do not leave the crib. A child can get used to this quickly, but it will be difficult to eradicate this bad habit. A little cunning person can come up with various tricks to achieve his goal, and if the refusal is not clearly explained to him, the situation will repeat itself day after day.
Independent sleep. Normal sleep in children may be disrupted due to the fact that mom and dad bought a bed for the child ahead of time. Sleeping on it for a baby, most often, is uncomfortable and uncomfortable, and this psychological factor can lead to the fact that it is simply impossible to go to bed without hysterics and crying. Teaching a child to sleep in another place is almost always accompanied by distrust, even fear, and is not recommended until the age of three, or even at a much later age.
There is no ritual before bed . If there is no certain sequence of events occurring immediately before bedtime, the baby may not have the mood for a night's rest. Some adults believe that there is no need to mentally and physically prepare a child for sleep, especially children who are already two or three years old. Stopping bathing them, reading them fairy tales, or singing a lullaby, such parents are sincerely amazed why their son or daughter suddenly begins to be capricious and simply do not want to fall asleep without rocking or soothing music. Children, after a day spent in games and other activities, cannot immediately fall asleep - they first need to relieve tension. A bath, a light massage and a quiet conversation with the child make it possible to soften the transition from active activities to relaxation, and this should not be forgotten.

The well-being and full development of the child, allowing him to grow quickly and develop correctly in all respects, largely depends on such simple but loving actions and a correct understanding of the needs of your child.