How to teach your child to sleep in his own crib separately, all night. The revolutionary method of Dr. Estiville, according to Spock, Komarovsky

Education is a complex and multifaceted process that requires certain knowledge and skills. Timely formed habits give any education system the necessary stability and strength. The bricks of the foundation of education are the child’s habits, and these bricks must be laid at the base of the building, but, of course, they must be laid correctly and firmly.

Raising a child's habit of sleeping in his own crib often presents some difficulty for young parents. The question of how to teach a child to sleep in his own crib usually begins to worry approximately from the moment the baby is six months old.

When is a baby ready for his own crib?

If the baby is accustomed from birth to sleeping with his mother, then developing the habit of falling asleep in a crib and getting comfortable in a new place will be much more difficult.

According to experts who are accustomed to sleeping with their parents from birth, babies should be taught from 6-8 months, since feedings at night stop and the child can sleep peacefully during the night.

At this stage, the child begins to roll over on his own, he is quite dexterous in his movements, he has already developed certain motor skills, and this process does not need to be controlled.

If your baby is not used to sleeping alone by 8 months, don’t despair; you can develop this habit at any age , you just need to be consistent and have some firmness. If the baby is put in a crib, and the next time the parents allow him to sleep with him again, then this “methodology” creates confusion in the child.

Compliance with some necessary conditions is necessary in order to find out what methods and how to teach a child to sleep in his own crib:

  • Night feedings are stopped or the baby is fed once at night;
  • The duration of night sleep is about six hours;
  • The first teeth have appeared, and this process no longer worries the child;
  • The baby is calm, there is no stress;
  • The child is used to playing alone for 10-20 minutes.

What prevents a child from learning to sleep alone?

That same close emotional connection is the reason why it is difficult for a baby to sleep alone. It is difficult to break the connection, but the baby does not think it is necessary.

The feeling of security and unity with the mother is a comfortable environment, beyond which the baby will not dare to go outside of her own free will. Parents themselves begin the process, leaving the baby alone with thoughts about the reasons for the changes and a feeling of fear.

Bad dream

Any child does not want to sleep in his crib alone. Everything, of course, is individual and depends on the age at which the process occurs. Among the causes of unstable sleep in infants are:

1 If the child is not yet a year old, then the first place among the reasons is the need for feeding . For the first six months, the baby will not sleep all night and will constantly wake up. Over time, nighttime rest will account for a larger portion of your total sleep time. This regulation is due to the need to eat. Going to bed should occur on a full stomach.

2 The second reason may be uncomfortable sleeping conditions - low or high air temperature, humidity above or below recommended values. Pediatricians consider a comfortable temperature to be 18-21°C and humidity to be at least 50%.

3 The third reason, most often related to one year of age or older, is fear . What can a baby be afraid of at night when he sleeps alone? First of all, darkness. The imagination of a baby can really frighten him in an unusual environment - the dark. But this does not mean at all that you need to leave the light on in the room; it will be difficult to unlearn this later. Before bedtime, it makes sense to give your baby some soothing tea.

4 Another reason may be stomach discomfort . This organ is still developing in newborns and at first does not perceive anything other than mother’s milk or an adapted formula. The introduction of complementary foods into the diet, as a rule, occurs with possible problems, as a result of which the baby sleeps poorly and often wakes up. If your baby has a tummy ache and nothing helps, give him a warm bath and also give him a colic massage. Water will relax tired muscles and relieve pain.

You can find out more about the reasons for a newborn’s poor sleep during the day here.

Negative sleep associations and common parenting mistakes


Do not leave the baby alone; if he cries, lie next to him, calm him down
. Associations with sleep are the set of feelings that arise in the baby when he mentions going to bed. It is important to develop the right associations for this action.

You can prepare your baby for sleep by repeating simple activities that precede sleep day after day. Last cartoon for today, a glass of milk, washing your face, brushing your teeth, reading a book, praying.

Anything, but these should be simple actions that will not be a burden and make it clear that now it will be time to go to bed.

If, through the fault of the parents, the child has developed negative associations with sleep, then every evening will turn into a battle, since there will be no desire. A parental mistake such as leaving the baby alone in the crib when he cries . Parents can simply develop a negative attitude toward the process, since it will always be associated with stress.

Parents also make mistakes such as playing active games before falling asleep, thinking that the child will fall asleep faster if they are tired. On the contrary, games excite children’s psyches, as does watching TV before bed.

Breastfeeding and sleep

One of the associations is feeding. In the first days of life and further during the first months, the baby falls asleep immediately after breastfeeding. Waking up, he remembers the conditions under which he felt good, under which he went to sleep, and asks for his mother’s breast again.

This state of affairs over a long period of time leads to a misunderstanding by the mother of what the baby really wants when he wakes up - milk or reassurance. In this situation, it is necessary to find another way to calm him down.

How to teach a child under 1 year old to fall asleep on his own

Baby 1-4 weeks old

There is no need to train the baby during this period. It is necessary to develop ways to quickly and easily fall asleep for your baby.

What methods will help normalize the sleep of a baby of this age:

  • Swaddling calms a newborn baby. Fresh, not tightly stretched diapers create a comfortable feeling: the baby can feel free;

  • Rocking and songs have a calming effect on the baby, and he can fall asleep quickly;
  • Using “white noise”: the rumbling of water, recording the sounds of a waterfall, that is, a sound background reminiscent of the blood flow that the baby is accustomed to in the mother’s belly;
  • Tight hugs and light pats , giving him a feeling of intrauterine life. Mom's walks or simply walking around the room calmed him down then. By creating the same conditions after the baby is born, you can normalize sleep.

Child at 2-3 months

Until the age of one month, a baby needs to be close to his mother, so at this age it is too early to accustom him to a crib. After the completion of the newborn period, from 2-3 months it is necessary to gradually wean off motion sickness. Before one year of age, you need to teach him to fall asleep quickly on his own.

To understand how to teach a child to sleep in his own crib on his own, you need to study the mental and individual characteristics of young children, know the biological and psychological patterns of growth and development of children.

What conditions are necessary for the effective process of developing the baby’s habit of quickly and easily falling asleep in his bed:

  • The child needs to remain awake for about an hour and a half before bedtime in order to get tired, but not overtired;
  • The baby should not be allowed to sleep at the breast during the day, as this will be difficult to eradicate in the future;
  • You need to dim the lights in the room and turn on a lullaby so that the child understands that it is time to sleep;
  • It is necessary to feed the baby and change the diaper so that nothing interferes with a good sleep;

  • It is recommended to massage the tummy before bed to reduce gas formation. Swimming before bed also has a relaxing effect.

Steps to successful sleep training

There are 4 steps to know how to accustom a child to a crib:

  1. Searching for a backup sedative for the baby, replacing empty breastfeeding.
  2. Moving into a crib and gradually moving away from it.
  3. Developing and applying correct bedtime associations.
  4. Developing the correct reaction to the whims of a child during a separate dream.

As you age, your sleep schedule and ritual change. This is normal and natural. The same lullaby and mother's breast that the newborn needed turned into a book and a glass of milk. Each parent has their own view on this.

In general, to develop a regime, daily repetition of some actions is required. It has been proven that it takes about 21 days to form a habit. Therefore, it is worth taking this fact into account and putting just that much time into setting up the ritual.

Changing the regime is normal when it happens in a good way . We must not forget that in the same 21 days a habit can be forgotten if it is absent. Always ensure that the ritual is followed in the evening.

Going to bed on time

In their practice, pediatricians recommend putting children to sleep:

  • in summer - no later than 21:00;
  • in winter - no later than 20:00.

Going to bed on time is the key to a baby’s health; it allows him to sleep as much as necessary for his age.

Do not neglect the recommendations if the parents’ daily routine allows it.

With this development of events, your baby will sleep until 6-7 o'clock in the morning and wake up well-rested. This is exactly the time when it’s time for many parents to get ready for work.

Spock's sleep technique

The famous pediatrician Benjamin Spock created a method for a child under 1 year of age to fall asleep independently. Each mother decides for herself how to teach her child to sleep in her own crib, whether to use this rather controversial method or choose a different way of putting the baby to bed.

The technique involves leaving the child alone in the room and returning to him after a period of time. Moreover, the duration of mother’s absence increases each subsequent time during the day and each subsequent day by two minutes.

For example, if on the first day when the baby first fell asleep the mother was absent for a minute, then on the second day she would be absent for 3 minutes, on the third and subsequent days she would be absent for 5 minutes.

On the second day, accordingly, the first fall asleep will be accompanied by the absence of the mother for three minutes, the second - five, the third and subsequent ones - seven minutes. The weekly self-sleep pattern is calculated in the same way.

If the baby cries while falling asleep, the mother should come up for the first time a minute later, calm her down and leave. If the baby cries again, the mother comes up after three minutes.

Many people find this technique unacceptable. However, she teaches the baby to fall asleep on his own, and after a week positive results appear.

The skill of falling asleep independently


The first and main requirement is that the crib must be safe for the child.
What functionality and appearance it will have is a matter of taste. This skill is the ultimate goal of your path to a separate dream. The stage of developing the skill of falling asleep independently is a difficult test.

All the association methods and rituals described above will help with this. If the baby goes to bed already in a relaxed state, then the chances that he will fall asleep quickly are very high.

But in any case, there is no need to accustom your child to a constant presence next to his crib. You can already negotiate with a three-year-old person , having determined in advance that after reading the fairy tale, the lights will be turned off, and the parent, having said good night, will leave the room. The key to success in this matter is the peace of mind of the parent and the comfort of the child. For more information on how to get your baby to sleep, check out this post.

In the case of a newborn, if a problem arises to quickly calm the child, there are several ways:

  • Rocking - recreating the usual movement in the womb;
  • Touch – physical contact;
  • Recreation of sounds familiar to the baby;
  • Lactation.

If a child 2-3 years old wakes up, then it is advisable to find out the reason for the awakening and eliminate it.

Dr. Estiville's method: 7 steps to independent sleep

From a very early age, the child should be included in the family routine. One of the components of the general regime is the skill of independent sleep. Many parents in this matter resort to using Professor Estiville's method. This method can tell mothers how to teach their baby to sleep in a crib.

Estiville has developed a table that shows the time intervals after which the mother approaches the baby. If a mother approaches a crying baby, then the next time the child cries, she should come to him a minute later. Then - after three minutes, and if the baby has not calmed down, then every five minutes until he falls asleep.

Consistency in using this technique will allow you to teach your baby to fall asleep alone in the shortest possible time.

Graduality is the main principle

As already mentioned, abruptly refusing to sleep together is extremely undesirable . The baby will perceive this negatively, it will seem to him that he was abandoned. Abruptly losing the feeling of a parent next to you can lead to serious consequences.

Night terrors may lead to the need to visit a neurologist in the future. Therefore, it is simply necessary to know how important it is to teach your baby to sleep in a crib gradually and slowly.

In the first stages, you can simulate a “separate” stay by placing the crib side by side with the parents’ bed. This way the child will be nearby, within easy reach, under control, but already within the walls of his bed.

Over time, the crib should be moved further away, but within the same room. When ready, the crib can be moved to a separate room. But under no circumstances should you distance yourself from the child emotionally, citing his imaginary independence. He must always hear his parents and understand that they are nearby.

How to teach a child to fall asleep in his crib at 2-3 years old

The baby must learn to sleep in his own bed before the age of one; later it will be somewhat more difficult to accustom him to this. Naturally, he should know that his mother is nearby and her immediate help, and he should be confident that frightening loneliness and fear can be overcome.

Parents are obliged to help the baby cope with stressful situations. Moving away from your mother is a kind of first acquaintance with the concept of independence. For a child, this period is considered a stage of psychological maturation.

How to competently approach this difficult situation:

  • Step 1. Develop a schedule. For a child to go to bed quickly on his own, it is not so important to follow everything strictly by the clock. It is much more important to develop a specific course of action. Let preparation for bed be accompanied by bathing, massage, feeding, listening to a fairy tale or song. Developing the skill for such a routine will take days, perhaps weeks, but it will be imprinted in the child’s psyche that the sequence of certain actions leads to quick, sound sleep.
  • Step 2. Explain the reason. Without giving the child a clear explanation, parents make a mistake. The child does not understand why, if he previously slept with his mother, now she leaves and he is left alone in the room. It is necessary to explain to the baby that he is an adult, and it is time for him to fall asleep on his own. The lack of explanation causes misunderstanding, surprise, fear and confusion in the child.

  • Step 3. Create comfort. You can invite your child to choose the furniture for his room, in particular, a crib. This technique will make him want to sleep on his own. Pillows, blankets, mattress, toys, night light - all these attributes are important for a baby.

  • Step 4. Get rid of fears. Often children, falling asleep on their own, wake up at night and come running to their mother. In the dark, the baby experiences fear. Parents need to talk to the baby, find out the cause of fear, and reassure. Often fears are impressions from watching TV shows and hearing fairy tales with scary characters. To get rid of night fears, you can use the technique of burning a piece of paper with a record of “scary images and thoughts,” releasing balloons, etc. A visit to a psychologist is also possible.

Comfortable indoor conditions

Comfortable conditions are very strongly related to the quality of rest. Air temperature, humidity, silence, lighting. Everything must be thought out and meet the requirements.

In particular, pediatricians consider the optimal temperature in the room where the little one is to be 18-21 °C, and humidity to be at least 50%. Failure to comply with such standards will lead to possible lack of sleep, headaches, and frequent awakenings of the baby. Is it dangerous for a newborn to sleep on his stomach? Read here.


A favorite toy calms a baby at any age, don’t ignore this fact

A toy for a child is a friend who always listens and looks into the eyes. A favorite toy in your hands is part of “yours” nearby. Do not neglect the request to take a toy with you to the crib ; with it the baby will sleep more peacefully.

Don't forget about night lighting. When training a baby to sleep separately, frequent visits from the baby cannot be avoided. The need for short-term illumination of a room arises constantly.

For comfortable, soft and dim lighting, use a night light. This could be a children's night light, which will also be interesting to your fidget.

Most parents purchase a crib before their child is born. This is understandable, because it will be needed immediately after birth. And the purchase itself is simply a pleasant hassle associated with the birth of a baby.

The crib must meet safety requirements , not tip over, have no sharp corners or dangerous places or mechanisms. For an older child, choosing a crib is a special event. As he becomes independent, ask him what kind of bed he would like to have.

Of course, at 2 or 3 years old he is unlikely to be able to tell himself about his desires, but he must definitely take part in the process. Look at the cribs in the store with him, let him choose what he likes. And there is such a crib - after all, today every child’s item contains characters from your favorite cartoons.

Important tips and little tricks

  • Graduality is the key to success. You will have to gradually learn to be independent. You can use an additional crib, which over time can be moved away from the parents' bed.
  • Learning to sleep in a crib during the day. A fragile and defenseless creature - this is how a newborn appears to young mothers and fathers. Therefore, many people prefer to put their baby to bed with them. But the child perceives this as a completely natural situation. If they try to put him separately, this will cause protest and indignation in him. From an early age you need to be accustomed to your own bed. If you put a 2-3 year old child in his own bed during the day, this will effectively help the process of getting used to independent sleep, with obligatory walks and active games before bedtime, after which the child gets tired and easily falls asleep.
  • Choosing the right bed. Reluctance to sleep separately may be due to the inconvenience of the baby's bed. The attached crib is very comfortable; it is a cradle without one side. Special fastenings are designed to secure the crib at the same level as the parents' bed. That is, the child, lying in his bed, is at the same time in close proximity to his mother.

  • Toys are the best helpers. Soft toys play a big role in a child's life. The child communicates with the toy as with a living being, feels responsible and at the same time protected. This fact is effectively used when teaching a baby to sleep in his own bed.

  • Bedtime rituals. For a good healthy sleep for your baby, you need to follow a daily routine. All events and actions during the day must be clearly ordered so that the baby is confident in the constancy of his life. Massage, bathing before bed, feeding, reading a fairy tale - everything has a beneficial effect on a child’s sleep.


    Playing games before bed will help teach your baby to sleep in his own crib.

  • Visiting trip. With children 2-3 years old, you can go on a visit, to a holiday home, where the baby will sleep separately from the mother. It is imperative to explain to the child in advance that he will have to sleep alone in the new place. Throughout the day, the child is given maximum attention, he must be busy with games, not get bored, so that he does not want to return home. There is no need to give in to your baby’s requests to go to bed together. The result of the parents’ consistency in a few days will be a habit that is persistently instilled in the baby.

Choosing the right bed as a solution to the problem

If the child does not want to sleep in the crib, perhaps the problem is in his separate sleeping place. In such a situation, you should purchase a special side bed.

This type of furniture is a regular cradle, but it is missing one side. Thus, the crib smoothly flows into the bed for parents, and vice versa.

With the help of special fastenings, the sleeping place for a child is installed on the same level as an adult bed. The baby seems to fall asleep separately, but is next to his mother.

The mother can feed her baby milk at any time, and she doesn’t even need to get out of bed. Having had enough, the child quickly closes his eyes, feeling the warmth of the mother’s body. Mom's affectionate touch will also help to calm you down.

When the baby matures a little (for example, at 2 or 3 months), a small side is created from a diaper in his crib for some separation from the mother. After another 4 weeks, the wooden board returns to its place, usually during this time the child has time to get used to the sleeping place.

After some time, the bed is gradually moved away from the parent's bed. This sequence allows you to avoid violent reactions on the part of the child and prepare the mother psychologically for “parting” with her child.

When you shouldn't force your child to sleep separately

For some reasons, developing the habit of independent sleep may need to be delayed:

  • The child was born before the stated date;
  • Birth by caesarean section;

  • There was a birth injury;
  • There are signs of increased intracranial pressure;
  • There is some lag in general development;
  • There are signs of any skin diseases;
  • The baby is excitable and whiny.

Children who exhibit at least one of the listed signs need longer contact with their mother: they have a greater need for co-sleeping than their peers.

The teething stage, as well as the period after an illness or the beginning of attending kindergarten, are very vulnerable for the baby. These events are stressful for the child’s unformed psyche, and at such moments he requires additional attention from his parents.

What are the harms of not sleeping in a crib?

I wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out that most young mothers cannot part with their baby at night, especially in the first months after giving birth. In addition to the fact that this creates certain conveniences, the woman and her little one have not been separated for a nine-month period and they need some time to learn to exist separately. The baby especially may need his mother’s presence; he needs to hear her heart beating. However, young parents should understand what a negative impact on the development of a child can be the lack of sleep in their own crib, and the presence near the mother, under her wing:

  1. Parents cannot always maintain 100% hygiene. Now your baby sleeps with you and you need to change the bed much more often, even if it seems to you that it is not yet dirty. Be sure to take a bath before going to bed. After all, a particularly sensitive baby is sleeping next to you, and he needs to be isolated from the influence of negative factors.
  2. It’s very bad if you trained your little one to sleep with you, and now suddenly mom or dad gets very sick. The baby should not lie in the same bed with the sick person. The baby still has a weak immune system and can quickly become infected. So try at such an unexpected moment to immediately put the child in his crib. It won’t work, the baby is already used to sleeping with you and will throw a huge tantrum if you try to move him away from you.

One day my friend got sick. She had a virus, accompanied by a temperature above 38. It should be noted that their child slept in a crib from birth and was bottle-fed. Mom was lying under the blanket, she felt very bad, her temperature did not want to go down. The father had to rock the baby to sleep. After the dad tried to lull the child to sleep for about an hour, he simply freaked out, put his son next to his mother and said that he was already sick of it, and he still had to go to work in the morning and went to sleep in the hall. It was a low blow. The child, feeling his mother’s warmth, fell asleep almost immediately. But in the morning, when everyone woke up, the baby looked sick. It turned out his temperature was 38 degrees. So, one night in bed with a sick parent was enough for the little one to get sick, but this could have been avoided if mother’s isolation had been possible. Let me remind you that the child was fed formula.

  1. There is a risk that one of the parents will sleep “without hind legs” and simply run over the baby in his sleep. And such cases are known to history. Just like those when the mother, soon after giving birth, began to breastfeed her baby in a supine position, and then fell asleep. Even a few minutes were enough for the chest to fall on the baby’s face and completely block his access to oxygen.
  2. Getting used to sleeping in a crib with mom and dad, it is very difficult for a baby to start sleeping alone. Your child may already be 3 or even 4 years old, and he still does not want to sleep alone, he only wants to be near his mother. This negatively affects the overall development of the child.

We prevent possible errors

It is necessary to take into account the significant fact that the mother’s anxiety and her psychological resistance are transmitted to the baby.

There are a number of common mistakes that interfere with the process of a child getting used to his own sleeping place:

  • Bullying a child;
  • Refusal to turn on the light;
  • Inconsistency of parents' requirements for the baby;
  • Conversations in “high tones” regarding the child’s refusal to sleep separately;
  • Ignoring or ridiculing manifestations of children's fears;
  • Discussing the situation with other people, with loved ones, in the presence of the child;
  • Ignoring crying after the baby wakes up or, conversely, running up to him at the first call.
  • Allowing a baby who is already accustomed to his crib to move to the parent’s bed by manipulating the parents’ feelings (except for the child’s illness).

If the question of accustoming a baby to his own crib causes difficulties for parents, then they should seek the help of qualified specialists: psychologists and pediatricians.

Having summarized the recommendations and advice of experts, we can suggest that parents follow some rules:

  • The easiest way is to accustom your baby to his own crib during the period of 6-8 months;
  • The optimal way to develop a habit is to purchase a side bed, when the mother is next to the baby and at the same time there is some distance between them;
  • The process of getting used to your own sleeping place should be completed before the child is 2-3 years old, since later it will be more difficult and painful;
  • Any punishments, reprimands or any other disciplinary measures regarding the child’s refusal to sleep in a separate crib should be excluded. This will only prolong the process and worsen the parent-child relationship.

  • Actions and measures to accustom the baby to a separate sleeping place must be coordinated between all family members: accordingly, there must be the same requirements for the baby.

Changes and restructuring in a child’s life are a test for him and his parents. This also applies to the question of how to teach a child to sleep in his own crib. How long will it take for the baby to get used to the innovation?

It depends on individual characteristics and age. Showing persistence and haste in this matter will only harm the adaptation process. If a baby needs attention and care, he wants to feel the closeness of his mother, he needs to negotiate with him, gradually reducing the time he stays nearby.

It is important to observe certain conditions and rules that would certainly be based on the interests of the child himself and would necessarily be developed taking into account the characteristics of the child’s psyche.

Armed with the help of specialists, it is easier and more accessible for parents to turn the development of any habit in their baby into a painless, comfortable process. And, of course, the universal remedy in relationships with children is undoubtedly enormous parental love and patience, backed by the necessary knowledge about the subtle organization of the amazing child’s soul.

As a conclusion

If the question of how to teach a child to sleep separately from his parents seems too difficult to you, you can seek qualified advice from a pediatrician or psychologist.

In summary, the recommendations of experts are as follows:

  • it will be easier for the child to fall asleep alone if crib training takes place in the optimal age period - from six to eight months;
  • The younger the toddler, the easier it is for him to adapt to the conditions of falling asleep. Newborn babies usually (but not always) sleep peacefully without their mother;
  • The optimal way of training is considered to be an additional bed, which allows you to be close to the child and at the same time maintain some distance;
  • You should not delay moving to your own children's bed until 2 - 3 years old. At such an “adult” age, the process of addiction will be seriously delayed and become more painful;
  • You cannot punish or scold the child, otherwise he will perceive separate falling asleep as a disciplinary measure, which is not very good for parent-child relationships;
  • It is important to bring the issue of children’s sleep to a common denominator by discussing all the rules with other household members. The process of accustoming to the crib may be delayed if the grandmother puts the baby under her side.

As you know, every change in a child’s life is not easy. However, if you follow all the important rules and conditions, then very soon the baby will enjoy sleep in his own bed, and you will enjoy peace and tranquility, as well as a full-fledged marital relationship.

Teaching your child to sleep separately

There are no 100% methods, after using which your little one will rest on his own. After reading and browsing literature on the Internet, I came to the conclusion that only parents can improve their baby’s sleep.

Parents must adapt to the baby, look at his reaction, and then decide whether to follow a certain method or not.

I can say that I was absolutely not confident in any of the advice that psychologists and other doctors offered. But following a few rules, we still improved our sleep.

Sharing important tips

  • Gradually move your baby away from you. You cannot take the baby, put it in the next room, leave, and leave the baby for several hours. My mother-in-law advised me to do just that, she says that my son is being naughty and will stop. I felt sorry for the baby doll, how can I do this? I decided to move the crib some distance away from my own every day. After 2 weeks, our baby was already sleeping in the next room. Of course, I ran to check, but soon calmed down. Gradualism is an important approach.

  • Change your daily routine . Often, the problem with sleep is related precisely to the routine, the usual tasks that every mother performs.

Remember that some time should pass between feeding and sleep.

  • Sleep ritual . Play calming, relaxing games every evening. For example, read, look at books, sing lullabies. The child will get used to such traditions and will understand that he will soon see dreams. You can turn on a disc with lullabies at minimum volume. Music will make things easier for you.
  • The principle “Mom is nearby” . After putting the baby in your crib, you can sit next to him and tell him a story, but under no circumstances take the baby in your arms. Don't give up your positions!
  • Taking independent naps during the day can also help . It will be easier for the child to fall asleep in the evening when he sleeps during the day in a new place.
  • Parental replacement method. Attachment to parents can be replaced by interest in some soft toy. If your baby is used to falling asleep cuddled with you, give him a toy. This method is also effective when the baby is afraid to fall asleep on his own. Show him a bear and a bunny, who will guard him all night and will not let him be offended.
  • Describe the beauty and comfort of the new bed . Children from 3 years old can already understand. Tell us how good it will be for your child to sleep away from his parents, especially in a beautiful new crib. It’s even better if you tell someone about all this in front of your child.
  • You should not accustom your baby doll to innovation if he is sick . He needs care, attention, care, parental warmth.
  • Lay your son or daughter in your bed half asleep . This way they will begin to understand that in the new place their mother is still with them.
  • After a quarrel, it is better to distract yourself from the negativity and give all your attention to the baby . He doesn't know what happened to you, but he feels strongly.
  • The "Adult" principle . Explain to your child that he has already grown up and is ready to rest on his own.
  • The crib should be comfortable . The sides should be covered with a blanket so that the little one cannot accidentally get into the openings or get his leg or arm stuck there.
  • Too many toys are bad. They will interfere with falling asleep. Choose your favorite toy.

  • Teach your child to play in the crib . Remember, the baby must get used to the new place and understand that it is not scary, but fun and safe. You can play in bed with toys, if your height and weight allow, you can climb there yourself, then the child will behave calmly.
  • Systematicity . Try not to disrupt your routine and carry out evening procedures at the same time. Only through being systematic will you be able to accustom your baby to new habits and separate sleep.

How to move a child aged 1 to 3 years into your crib

A crib that constantly moves

Place the crib next to yours. If the child previously slept between mom and dad, move him to the edge of the bed next to you. There are modern designs of cribs on sale that fit well with the parents’ large bed and become an extension of it. The child is safe in this position and will not roll off it. Let the baby get used to sleeping in a pulled-up crib next to you for several days. Then place a heating pad or just a toy between you and the baby. After some time, move the bed aside and place the child's toy box between them. After a while, the nightstand will become an obstacle. And at the last stage, move the crib to the opposite wall.


How to correctly transfer a baby from your arms to a crib

The principle here is quite simple. Mom or dad, depending on who does it more often, carry the baby in their arms before going to bed. Rhythmic rocking, combined with a lullaby, will help the child fall asleep in the arms of his parents. Then carefully and slowly bend over the crib with your baby and place him on the bed. After transferring, do not open your hands. The baby can open its eyes several times and, making sure that you are nearby, will fall asleep again. Every time the child wakes up in his bed and cries, you take him in your arms and rock him to sleep again, transferring him to your shelter.

Hot water bottle toy

During the period when the child is very young, close contact with his mother plays a very important role for him. In the parent's bed, the baby can feel the warmth of his mother's body all night, smell her, or smell milk. Replace yourself with a toy - a heating pad or put a regular warm heating pad in your toy backpack.

To enhance the effect of the substitution, put your mother's T-shirt or nightgown on the toy. After the child has fallen asleep, put this toy between you and him. Over time, your baby will be comfortable with a warm object, and you will move them to the crib together.

Rituals for putting a baby to bed

Psychologists say that creating sleep rituals creates a sense of security in a child and relieves anxiety. By rituals we mean a series of sequential actions that parents do every night religiously.

For example, this could be the following sequence of actions: a walk, a bath, a hearty dinner, mainly from carbohydrate foods, a lullaby and sleep.

Or this routine: bathing in the bath, a hearty dinner, reading a book, mom and dad kiss goodnight, dad carries him in his arms and sleep.

What exactly parents will do to make their child fall asleep better is not important. A proven fact is the influence of a warm bath and a hearty dinner on a child’s sound and long sleep.

Lullaby from mom

Even if mom can’t sing, it doesn’t matter. The sound of the voice and the close proximity of the mother's body and breathing can calm the little one.

A monotonous sound “A-a-a” or simply humming the melody of a lullaby is quite suitable for a lullaby.

First, this can be done with the child in your arms, then in his crib. Sing a lullaby at the crib when your baby is already asleep.

5 touch rule

Tactile contact before bedtime and even when the child is already asleep will help the baby cope with stress and more calmly cope with eviction from the crib. After you have carried the baby in your arms, and after you have put him in a sleepy crib, do not run into another room. Sit down next to him and stroke your baby’s leg or back. Let your baby feel your presence. Maybe even give it a light back massage.

Christmas tree massage: Mom or dad uses their palms, starting from the child’s lower back and moving upward, as if drawing a Christmas tree. Do not apply pressure or rough rubbing. Everything should be as gentle and calm as possible.

Use positive language

How to teach a child to fall asleep on his own? Be encouraging and you can make your child strive to be independent. "Say, 'Guess what?' You are three years old! Three year olds sleep in their beds all night! Is not that great? " Explain to your child (in age-appropriate language) what will happen when he wakes up and comes to your bed in the middle of the night (that is, he is put back in his room). Ask your child why he keeps leaving the room in the middle of the night.

Is it too dark, too hot, too cold, or are they afraid of how their wardrobe looks in low light?

Address these issues throughout the day to calm your child.

Pros and cons of co-sleeping

Psychologists believe that co-sleeping with a child is beneficial: communication with the mother is maintained, and the mental development of the newborn is stable. It’s more convenient to feed and water, you don’t have to get up, everything you need is nearby. That's where the positives end. The famous pediatrician E. Komarovsky believes that the benefits of sleeping together are greatly exaggerated; an individual sleeping place for a child is simply necessary.

Why you need to wean your child from sleeping with his parents:

  • Adults may accidentally crush it while sleeping.
  • When the baby doesn't sleep in his crib, dads don't have enough space. As a result, they move to another location. Problems begin in marital relationships, sometimes families even break up.
  • The mother and baby sleep lightly, waking up from every rustle and sound. Lack of sleep has a bad effect on a woman’s physical and moral condition. Therefore, in order not to undermine her health, you need to teach your child to sleep at night separately from his parents.
  • After six months, the need for night feeding disappears. If the baby sleeps nearby, he will continue to demand the breast. Weaning off this habit will end in screams, tears, and hysteria.
  • A healthy lifestyle, according to experts, includes regular intimacy. Sex becomes possible only if the child sleeps in a separate room.
  • Not every mother sits at home and only cares about raising children; many have to go to work in the morning. Therefore, a good night's sleep is important for them.

No specialist can provide compelling reasons why a child should sleep separately. If a parent is ready to sacrifice her personal life, her nerves and well-being, then she can calmly place the baby next to her.

The benefits of co-sleeping with a child have also not been scientifically proven. Some believe that thanks to this the baby grows up liberated, confident, and calm. However, this is just a guess.

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