Newborn crisis
Physiology. The child has adapted to existence outside the mother's womb. The body is accustomed to breathing on its own, regulating body temperature, receiving and digesting food. Regular sleep and nutrition allow you to feel confident in new circumstances.
Psychology. The quality of a newborn’s psychological adaptation depends on the parents. The child does not yet master the means of communication, but needs help, so maternal intuition plays an important role.
What to do? Learn to understand the child’s body language, gestures and facial expressions. To express your care and support, pick him up, hug him, and breastfeed him as often as possible.
The neonatal crisis ends with a period of recovery. The child gets comfortable, recognizes loved ones, smiles when he sees them.
Reasons for appearance
A three-year-old child’s crisis does not occur without the influence of environmental factors. Sudden mood swings and hysterical attacks are caused by a number of reasons.
These include:
- lack of attention from adults;
- the desire to achieve a goal (buying a new toy or going to an entertainment center);
- feeling unwell, overworked;
- disruption of daily routine (hunger, lack of sleep);
- small vocabulary (the baby cannot express in words a negative attitude towards a person, an object or a situation);
- diseases or disorders of the nervous system;
- the arrival of a new family member;
- incorrect system of punishments and rewards;
- excessive care and control of relatives;
- improper upbringing;
- the desire to imitate one of the adults or peers;
- excessive strictness of parents.
Often children's tantrums are associated with a dysfunctional atmosphere in the family
Children adopt the behavior of loved ones, so it is important to avoid scandals at least during a crisis, especially in the presence of a child
Crisis of the first year of life
Physiology. The main factors of the early childhood crisis are learning to walk and talk, the beginning of independent knowledge of the world. Even if a child communicates in “his own” language, scientists regard it as autonomous child speech.
Psychology. The child begins to understand that the main person in his life - his mother - does not belong to him entirely, she has her own life and interests. He begins to fear that he will be abandoned or lost. The child seeks increased attention, often follows on the heels and calls his mother. At the same time, he compares himself with others and tries to defend strong-willed decisions, contrast them with existing family rules, and protest.
What to do? Fighting with a child is not only useless, but also unacceptable, since during a crisis he needs parental love and support - physical and emotional - even more. Give him a certain freedom, while controlling its scope - stimulate and slow down from time to time, depending on the situation.
What to play to make it easier for the child to let go of his mother
Kindergarten. In your kindergarten group there are dolls, bunnies and bears, and you and your child will take turns being parents who first bring their children to kindergarten, say goodbye to them, go to work, and then come to pick them up. What does the “parent” say? How does the “child” behave? This game will greatly help in adapting to kindergarten.
Me and my loved ones. Collect pictures of the baby himself and his relatives and friends, his favorite pet, even his favorite toys in a small photo album. He will look at these photographs with you, and you will comment: “Look, here you are with dad - we love you. But grandma—and she loves you.” This photo album will be a visual support for the baby - and you can also take it with you to kindergarten.
"Bye-bye" cards. Cut out 10 small cards from thick paper and, together with your child, draw different symbols on each: how many times should you hug, kiss or wave to each other when saying goodbye. Now when mom or baby go somewhere, they will pull out one of the cards and do what is written on it. For example, “Kiss your nose three times and wave once.”
Crisis 3 years
Physiology. At the age of 3, the first hormonal changes in the body occur. The nuclei of the diencephalon and pituitary gland are activated, this contributes to intensive cognitive processes.
Psychology. The crisis of 3 years is one of the most acute. The child is difficult to control, his behavior is practically impossible to correct. His most popular words are “I don’t want” and “I won’t.” You say it’s time to go home, he runs away. You ask him to put the toys away - he scatters them. Your refusal to satisfy some request causes a demonstrative protest - the child screams, stomps his feet, and may swing and hit. Don't be afraid, this is a form of normal growing up: the child begins to feel like an individual, but expresses independence through the means available to him.
What to do? Do not try to demonstrate strength and power - this can reinforce negative behavior and character traits. Find the strength to be patient, sometimes the child himself wants to stop behaving badly, but does not yet know how to do this. You can help him, for example, redirect his attention. Also try to identify the objective reasons for this behavior, maybe your family has too strict rules or the child is offended by other children.
At the same time, set clear boundaries about what not to do, and do not deviate from this - otherwise the child will begin to manipulate you. During hysterics, leave him alone with himself - without “spectators” the whims pass faster.
With the correct behavior of adults, the crisis of 3-year-olds passes in a year and a half.
Reasons that cause nervousness in babies:
The presence of circumstances that provoke interference with the baby’s important affairs. The only way to attract adult attention. The child's needs are not fully met.
Of course, the main cause of hysteria is recognized to be the imperfection of the children's nervous system. The child does not know how to control the manifestations of his dissatisfaction, and the habit of adequately expressing dissatisfaction will appear much later. It should be understood that sudden crying does not indicate the presence of any disease. In most cases, children's tantrums for 2-3 years (Dr. Komarovsky) are not dangerous. But it is extremely unacceptable to leave the situation unattended.
Let's consider what methods are available to resolve the situation. Although, according to the famous doctor, it is best to prevent the symptoms of impending hysteria in advance and not bring the child to tears. How can this be done in practice?
Crisis 7 years
Physiology. The 7-year crisis is associated with a period of intense physical growth, the development of fine motor skills of the hands and complex neuropsychic functions.
Psychology. Against the background of physical changes, the social status of the child changes - he becomes a schoolchild. For some children, the need to get used to a new environment and demands provokes neuroses. The child becomes anxious, but hides his emotions, his appetite decreases, and nausea and vomiting are possible in the morning. He may not want to go to class, answer the teacher’s questions, argue with his parents, snap back, or imitate his elders. At this age, leaving home for the first time is possible: more often for boys from strict families.
What to do? Problems more often arise in children who are physically or psychologically behind their peers in some way, so do not rush to send your child to school, at least without consulting a pediatrician. Do not overload your first-grader with additional sections; let him adapt to school. Do not place high demands on your studies and ensure a calm environment at home.
Do not punish for failures and bad grades - this will discourage you from learning. Give your child more independence and responsibility. If something doesn't work out for him, support his faith in himself.
What you need to know: The technical part has not yet been configured
You may have heard about synapses - this is the point of contact between two neurons, serves to transmit a nerve impulse between two cells.
We will not go into complex chemical and electrical impulses, one thing is important for us - in children, impulses are transmitted more slowly. In newborns, about 20 impulses per second pass through the synapse, in adults - 100–150 impulses/sec). In children, the synthesis of a substance that facilitates the transmission of impulses occurs more slowly
Therefore, fatigue sets in faster in synapses and nerve centers with prolonged excitation. The younger the child is, the more pronounced this is. As children grow, a large number of new synapses are formed, which contributes to the development of the brain, learning processes, memory, control of their body and emotions.
There are many more scientific works that explain at the physical and chemical level the behavior of a child when he is upset or happy. With strong excitement, in particular when showing joy or sadness: the child jumps or stomps his feet; he is completely in the grip of excitement, and no amount of persuasion can calm him down. All this is explained by the processes occurring in the brain.
By the age of 4-5, the technical part is already more or less set up and in case of hysterics we can already talk about the software part. The software part is configured directly by parents. How? We lay down programs with our behavior, habits, worldview, cartoons, books. The child already understands how to say what to do, how to come to an agreement and solve his problem; he already has experience.
Teenage crisis
Physiology. At 11-15 years of age, accelerated physical growth and puberty are observed.
Psychology. Against this background, psychological changes occur: increased sensitivity, excitability, mood instability, incontinence, and possible aggressiveness. The desire for independence from adults and self-affirmation provokes rash actions: smoking, alcohol, early sexual intercourse, drugs. Teenagers gravitate toward grouping and spending time with peers. They are selfish and indifferent to others, while they really need the attention and care of adults.
What to do? A teenager should be treated as an adult, capable of making decisions and being responsible for their actions. There is no need to impose your opinion on him; try to lead him to adequate independent decisions. If your teenager's behavior worries you, consult a psychologist.
Age crises are natural. Their course depends on the child’s personality: it can be acute and painful or mild and almost unnoticeable. With the correct behavior of adults, the child overcomes age-related crises, and a calm, friendly atmosphere is maintained at home.
How to deal with whims?
Overcoming the whims of a small child can be difficult. This is especially obvious when the mother is in a hurry, and the baby is still busy with something and is not going to go anywhere. The child, seeing irritation, will be even more stubborn. In most cases, the conflict ends in favor of the adults, and the child, through tears and nerves, still gets ready and follows his mother. If such situations are repeated, it is time to change the rules of communication in the family and teach the child to express his emotions in a more effective and adult way - with words. The most important thing in overcoming whims is parental self-control. Don't raise your voice, this will only intensify the rebellion. Try not to be nervous so as not to show your son or daughter your helplessness. If you want to calm down faster, think about how courageous and determined your baby has become. He defends his opinion and is already arguing with an adult.
A capricious child at one, one and a half, two, and even three years old is normal, but if a five-year-old child throws tantrums, this is already a reason to visit a neurologist and child psychologist. The doctor will check the baby’s development and give recommendations on raising and interacting with him.
Advice from psychologists
There are several rules that will help you cope with such a difficult transitional age. Tips to help “unwilling” mothers deal with outbursts of stubbornness:
- Check your requirements for the baby; perhaps some requests are really too high. Maybe the baby is already able to decide which sweater to wear outside, or he really doesn’t like tomato juice.
- It is necessary to develop a clear system of prohibitions. For the first time, 4-5 strict “no’s” are enough. For example, you cannot approach street dogs or a lit stove, as well as other age-appropriate prohibitions. The rules are not violated under any pretext. These “don’ts” must be confirmed by all family members, including grandparents.
It is difficult for a child to follow parental instructions every day: to prevent the child from rebelling, offer him options: “Which toy should we take for a walk, an elephant or a car?” Ask your child for advice and he will be happy to compromise. Develop independence in children. You should not do for your child what he can do himself. Instead of dressing your child, instruct him to put on his own pants. It is better to go for a walk 15 minutes later, but let the baby dress himself. Don't react to your child's whims. The best way to overcome a tantrum is to ignore it. At home, you can leave your child in the room and do other things. Without increased attention, the baby will calm down much faster
If a tantrum catches you among people, you need to try to find a secluded place away from the annoying environment as quickly as possible, then switch the baby’s attention to something more interesting. Analyze the situation. Every outburst of stubbornness is a child’s unfulfilled need.
At such a young age, children cannot want something bad. Maybe a capricious baby simply lacks attention or communication - adults should think about this. Praise your child for behavior that you like. Praise sincerely, describing all the good things the baby has done.
